Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

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neo
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Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Post by neo » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:59 pm

Post it here, rants, or just little things that annoy you. Also, post advice if you think it would help someone else.

Now, heres a rant I typed up two days ago:

Here it is: man it may be a bit long.

Ok, so let’s see. Am I crazy, or is my mother? Or maybe she doesn’t listen? Well, I will let you in on the situation, and you can find out. I just think its miscommunication, but maybe its just me.

So, I am finishing class. I don’t have my book(s) as of yet. Well, I don’t have it because I don’t have money. (I had financial aid and loans only cover the tuition, not my choice >_>) So, my mother arrives to pick me up. She calls me and I ask her to wait a little bit so I can acquire some copies of the book, so as to keep up with school work. (this school is accelerated) I must so that I can start on a 13-15 page project which is due on the 6th, or 13th, but must be done before that. Then, she yells at me disregarding the thing I’m doing. She is still mad that I am late. She then states I didn’t get my book because I didn’t simply ask for it in a different way or tone. (As if I’m being stepped on) . She only thinks that I’m an idiot, and believes I’d agree to anything. I asked them about it, they said they didn’t know and to call the financial aid department. I call them, leave a message, and get a call back a few days later. They tell me that I must call the business office to get a book voucher (which would be around $200 or less. I left a message, and they haven’t called back. Also, our phone is about to be cut. I tell her all this and she repeats what she said. “Maybe you should go ask again, but make sure you don’t back down (etc blab blab)”<so I say yes yes (as to get her way a little so that we may not fight, but I say “Well that is why I was doing that because they haven’t gotten back to me yet mother” and then she says “Well I didn’t tell you not to do it you idiot” (But my point was not to get mad for me being a little late, since it was a big help to me, as I think about it) and it went on from there. Insults, being thrown at me.

She starts telling me not to talk back to her etc and I was telling her you don’t understand (I’m 19, soon to be 20 in nov, I’m tired of this) She doesn’t want to listen, only hear what she believes, and withdraws to her room and closes the door, with the volume at max. She tells me to be quite as for the neighbors not to hear me (she always does that, as if I’m talking loudly, I’m whispering so you know) She then says I’m crazy and that I need a psychologist. I’m not the one who gets enraged. I’m calm, and here I am typing this out to let SOMEONE know how I feel. I don’t like fighting, and I just want to be understood. *sigh* ;_______ ;

She then feels like talking when she starts to break down and ask me ‘why do you say this etc etc’ and if I do say something she’ll just scream and stuff… >_> I’m only trying to make her understand, that’s all. Its unacceptable. And then they tell me to shut up. I am jobless, so they support me. And I will always remember that, but its demeaning to me. I’d rather be independent and not treated like a child, I want out. Not a stupid way out, just life getting better. Get a job, apartment, etc. (which is why I’m studying, they don’t seem to understand that either ;___ ; ) So I must leave, if they can’t understand me. People tell me its hard, but I’d rather work really hard and find better ways of living. I’m seriously too old for this crap. She believes what she wants to believe, , and it seems I am untrustable to her, since I am an idiot to her. So be it. I want to leave, even without her support. I do not want stress, I do not want unhappiness due to little things… I know I must work hard, and here I am studying for a better future. I won’t let it get me down, after all this I still have much work to do. But, I do not know what to do about this, the biggest little problem I shouldn’t be having. So what do you think? Am I approaching it wrong?

It seems as though I may be a little detached from reality, from life. Because, I am a loner. And when I say that, not without a girlfriend (well actually yes, but I mean just like without friends and stuff) So I think a lot, talk to myself at times. I may be weird to others. I am objective (I try to be subjective or pretend to be subjective and keep quite about my objectiveness, as not to get disapproval from family) also at times I am naturally negative, but my self esteem is great. I want to be the best, at smash. Anyways, I was always kept inside as a kid, and was given videogames to occupy myself. So, I played them. That’s all I thought about. When I got older, I played videogames with friends. (and I’m glad I do)
I can be random at times, and also silly, which is why I might be thought as an idiot. I will not pretend my values are directly given to me from my parents. I would try and understand (and listen to) my children, if I ever have any. xD
I mother tells me if I want the neighbors to hear us fighting, and I say no, I WANT U TO HEAR ME! (Since she closes the door I must say what I have to say) She then pretends like she understands (or something) and tells me “go ahead. Do whatever you want. No srsly, go ahead! Don’t worry about me.”

I still have work to do. >_> Plus, we fight in Spanish. I’m better in English then Spanish. You could say I might be sending he wrong message. I really hope I don’t have these problems with a future wife or something. Because of all this, family (parents and sister) seem to get closer, and I get farther, as if I’m the enemy. Sure, today is another day, and we aren’t fighting now. But, it always happens, so it might happen again, over a little misunderstanding. Maybe it is getting to my head in some indirect way, although I will be positive and try to do my best by studying, looking for a job (to help my family no matter what) and hope its only miscommunication. But at times I begin to harbor a smidgen of doubt, and it worries me. This is why I write this, so that you may understand my situation, and let me know what you think. So that I may understand, because I don’t.

The way I am, is probably the result of how I was raised. But I am not blaming anyone, its never good to do that, I have learned. Although, its as if my parents were late to a class and missed an important instruction/discussion. It was how I grew to be some ‘monster’ in their eyes. They say I am doing drugs because of what I say. I would never do anything stupid, just because of how I feel. I’d only write, and continue to do things I like, for example, videogames. Thanks for listening, or reading rather. Almost 4000 words. Oh, lol, I mean characters. xD Funny, I’m listening to Coldplay – Amsterdamm. :] (my mom said I started the fight) >_>

Life is so complex, even the little things. ;[

Acarr
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Acarr » Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:08 pm

That's a pretty long rant. :o
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neo
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by neo » Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:13 pm

Yeah I know, typed it in my phone.

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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Cairnie » Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:36 pm

Yes I have something bothering me. It's my library job, and how they are taking so fucking long to tell me when I'm actually starting.

So I'm on this scheme where they try to get disabled people to find work, and back in March they offer me to come and take a test, perhaps one of the easiest I've ever taken, to apply for a library job. I then got an interview in May, then got the job in June, and since then I have been waiting for any word about when I'm starting, and what my hours would be. When I start, I'm having a job coach for two weeks, and alphabetically I am at the bottom of the list, but surely it couldn't have taken three months to sort out 5 people per library in the borough?

It's just...aaa, losing mind..
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neo
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by neo » Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:06 pm

Before its too late, I hope you march in and demand your schedule. A friend of mine got a job at Pizza Hut as a Waitress. She has finally gotten a job, and she was so happy! Then, she was waiting for her schedule, but the guy who was in charge of it said he was working on it. The, she gets fired because she hasn't been to work for a week. She then comes in with her parents to tell the guy she hadn't had a schedule, and he said "Well I had it posted back then".

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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Phoenixan » Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:09 pm

I'm a bit worried and annoyed because I have to wait for a form to get processed before I can get a job...

and if they do it too late, I have to go back to the States. :\

Tough luck, eh?

neo
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by neo » Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:19 pm

I think I was in your situation. I mean, I moved from Florida to Pennsylvania with my parents and sister. It was hard since we had no real plan, just "go to a shelter and hope they can help us" and it went on from there. It was not comfortable, but we somehow got out of that in a way.

I hope you manage to succeed and hope they don't take to long processing that. Seriously whats their problem?

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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Acarr » Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:17 pm

StaceyW wrote:So I'm on this scheme where they try to get disabled people



What do you mean by aspie? :?
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Cairnie » Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:33 pm

You should have figured by now but it's short for aspergers aka autism lite
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neo
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by neo » Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:34 pm

Whats bothering me now is that I'm just really bored. Although, I'll be posting and getting more tings so thats a plus. :]

ah damnit it starts later at 11 pm. :[

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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Phoenixan » Fri Sep 11, 2009 5:04 pm

neo wrote:I think I was in your situation. I mean, I moved from Florida to Pennsylvania with my parents and sister. It was hard since we had no real plan, just "go to a shelter and hope they can help us" and it went on from there. It was not comfortable, but we somehow got out of that in a way.
Yeah, I imagine in a few years, I'll just look back on this and laugh. O.o

When you think about it, it's kind of like the days of High School. Worried so much about tests and crap then, but now days, you realize that that was nothing. XD

Until then, I get to be a worry-wort.

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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by neo » Fri Sep 11, 2009 5:26 pm

Yeah, I wonder why people have to take so long to process things?

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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Tobbe » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:00 pm

<3 record day
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Shawn
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Shawn » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:19 pm

Algebra. Algebra sucks.

I don't plan on being an engineer, architect, ect., so I have no need for it. Screw algebra.

I'm sure I'm the only one here who's bad at it. If I remember correctly, most of the members here are academically superior to me. :P
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Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation-but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For if you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs, heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Cairnie » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:20 pm

Algebra = NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Shawn » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:22 pm

I'm also bothered a little by how useless I will be today for the record. :boon:
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Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation-but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For if you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs, heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Tobbe » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:23 pm

Shawn wrote: I'm sure I'm the only one here who's bad at it. If I remember correctly, most of the members here are academically superior to me. :P
yeah bcos ur only liek 14

also algebra is easy
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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Matyuv » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:24 pm

+1
MandM81 wrote:YYYYYYYRRRHLHLPYYYYYYPDPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRR

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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by Rsandee » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:24 pm

Weren't we gonna get the thriple amount of the tings we should normally get if we post?

EDIT: cause i don't notice it :oops2:
Last edited by Rsandee on Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Something Bothering you?

Post by PluMGMK » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:24 pm

What he said.

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