I have pretty much nothing to hide from this community! You guys are great.
I'm glad you've made up your own mind on this one iambored.
Most people give reasons such as "school's no fun," "school's boring," and so on for dropping out, and it's
extremely rare to find reasons for committing suicide that aren't completely twisted or shrouded in opinion. However when you're in the midst of the negative action, it's extremely hard not to have twisted and shrouded opinions on life. You don't know better. This is one of the reasons why I think being part of an online community is so important, because you get to be someone away from the judgment of others, and it shows you there's more to life than getting killed every day at school, or wherever it is that makes you depressed day in and day out.
I've read the Torah a little, just for fun as well (since I'm entirely Atheist), and I think it's a much better book than the Bible. Christianity in my opinion is one of the most abused and destroyed religions there are around.
I'm also with you and beebo on the afterlife topic. I simply think too much to actually consider such an impossibility as the afterlife. I wish I did believe in it, because then I wouldn't be thinking about the fear of nothingness. I quote Matthew Bellamy's ironic phrase "As an Atheist, dying scares the Hell out of me."
beebo44 wrote:About your story, I feel sorry for you having to go through all that Rayfan. But it did confuse me a little. So when you were little you were a boy, but thought you were a girl? And then you took hormone blockers and estrogen, does this mean you're a girl now? Jeez I'm confused...
About the third-last paragraph, I can't believe that some people would actually be that much of a dickhead. About grade 8/9, if I were you, I can bet you my self-control would've cracked.
Thanks, appreciate it.
I'll explain your question so you get the best understanding:
The thing that causes abnormalities are what happens before birth. For example, if you have an embryo that has received enough testosterone at the start to define it as a boy (as opposed to estrogen defining it as a girl), then that's the base. Roughly 99% percent of all embryos develop with a steady and consistent amount of their hormones, assigned by the "base." However, if we fed that male embryo a little too much estrogen in the process, it may affect the brain (which is always targeted first) enough to produce a homosexual boy. If say it were fed even a bit more estrogen, the newborn could have the brain make entirely that of a female's, and would be born a female brain in a boy's body, and at that point it very, very slightly affects the external appearance (and this is my case). Sometimes it can go to have an even further amount of estrogen, and then it could result in a hermaphrodite (the technical term being "intersexed,") which have both male and female organs. This whole paragraph can be vise-versa'd.
With that being said, there isn't a hard line you cross that defines whether someone is male or female. Hormone blockers stopped my development of shifting even further to the physical male side, and estrogen started making it move in the female direction. Some things however are irreversible, such as a male's voice lowering. Estrogen does not bring the pitch back up. This is one of two things most people consider when going through the actual surgical procedure, which is to have their vocal chords either shortened, tightened, shaved or folded to recreate a higher pitch (what I'm considering). The other is the obvious one, you know which one I'm talking about.
iambored, thank you very much! I'll check out your composition as well shortly.
just Haruka most interesting user there for me
I'll want your Friend accounts, guys!
We're just too... "uncool" to like Rayman.
Literally, the exact same thing. I cannot believe it, it's as if you're my school clone. However my knife part went as such: He insulted me for it pretty badly, and knew my height/weight and referenced to my 16.3 BMI/anorexia. I retorted and brushed him off with my hand, and then he pushes me against the wall with the knife and carved a long curvy line into my jacket.