Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

[Serza5]

The sad thing about this is that it's very unlikely to stop as those kind of people whom I follow claim it to be a form of violent protest. Although i'll bring up what I said in my last post; what exactly is posting about it on a blog going to do about it? There is a very small chance that anyone "big" (Being a big named celeb or company or w/e) is going to take notice yet alone do something about it. Of course it'd be wrong to say that one shouldn't do nothing if they want their problems fixed but that shouldn't have to involve hurting other people in the process.

I'd also like to say that spreading awareness is a good thing, and you shouldn't avoid it simply because "some people acted like a jerk to you or others like you", bad people spawn from all places, but that doesn't grant you the right to deny their rights.

[sonicbrawler182]

Ah, the social justice warriors of tumblr. Quite an entertaining bunch, really.

While I believe some of these blogs are completely beneficial, and do have the right idea, the majority of social justice "activists" on tumblr do nothing but put other people down for being the way they are, or certain minority groups decide it would be good to put down the majority, even though the majority is not against the minority.

I actually said a bit about this on another forum the other day, and basically:

Personally I think the concept of feminism and other similar things are just too inherently flawed and redundant. Because in the end, feminism is a segregation of the concept of equality. I think people should just fight for equality, and not for segregated versions of it.

For example, if I see a man and a woman doing the same job with the same performance level, and the woman is getting paid less, it's not wrong because a woman is the victim, but it's wrong because the employer has made an arbitrary and discriminating condition for their employees to get paid a higher amount of income, and that is inherently wrong, regardless of the type of discrimination taking place.

Segregated versions of equality, like feminism, are also far too easy to abuse. Such as when an employer is paying a woman less for a legitimate reason (e.g. she is doing noticeably less work than the man, despite being provided just as much as the man). I've seen just as many cases of a woman abusing feminism in a situation like that, as I have seen justified fights for equality. Feminism also encourages anti-male activity, which is against what equality is about.

The topic I was posting in was centering around feminism on tumblr at the time, but you could apply this to all of these minorities really. Some of them get so caught up in this mindset, to a point where simply being part of a group that is not a targeted minority turns you into a target to these minority groups. It's comparable to how, after a war, people who are family members of soldiers from a certain faction may be targeted, even if they did not condone what the soldiers did. Germans are a prime example, Germans in general were looked down upon right after World War II, even though not all Germans were actually Nazis.

To be honest though, it will be a long time before problems like this will go away. Humans, by nature, enjoy conflict. Nobody can say they don't. It's why literature always has some kind of conflict in it, even if it's not a heavy one. That's why I believe people like tumblr's social justice "activists" are the way they are. They are thirsty for someone to be in a conflict with. It's not fully because they think what they are doing is legitimately helping people, part of why they do it is because conflicts usually happen to achieve something. So by conflicting with others, they are making progress for social justice, in their minds.

[Keane]

I'd also like to say that spreading awareness is a good thing, and you shouldn't avoid it simply because "some people acted like a jerk to you or others like you", bad people spawn from all places, but that doesn't grant you the right to deny their rights.

I doubt any of the SJ on Tumblr has done anything at all. It hasn't brought my attention to anything I didn't already know, and it never really achieves something, it's only endless arguing on a social media site, where the only people who ever see these blogs are people that won't change anything. I don't believe that if someone homophobic came on Tumblr and saw these posts that they'd think "Oh gee, I should stop" at all. And you don't change religious minds. You could literally disprove it and they'd be stubborn enough to still push their opinion. It's not doing anything, and even if there was a homophobic person on Tumblr that was willing to change their mind, does anyone really think they'll have their mind changed by people insulting them and making fun of them? No. I think homophobia is pathetic, but, if you want to get your point across, you're gonna have to bring it in an appealing way, or they'll just think you're an asshole and move on.

[Serza5]

I'd like to make it clear before I say anything else is that I do think that insulting majorities isn't doing any good for raising awareness since you implied there that I do think otherwise.

[Keane]

I'd like to make it clear before I say anything else is that I do think that insulting majorities isn't doing any good for raising awareness since you implied there that I do think otherwise.

Nah, my bad, I worded it a little awkward.

[Serza5]

But aye otherwise it's a no win for anyone in those cases. If you act like that then you' look like a bully, but if you retaliate against the bully then you look like a homophobe or anything else like that. At this point I just flat out say that there is no point in dealing with any posts like that and it's best to just ignore them, as pointing out their flaws will only make you look bad, while giving them no attention at all will hopefully start giving some people the hint that insulting people isn't doing any good at all. Except of course, for when they're attacking you or friends.

[incognito]

The violence is never the solution !
Exept is the question is :"how to stop.those bad guys",or:"Winch word goes with silence" Never mind, it could be the solution...

[Keane]

But aye otherwise it's a no win for anyone in those cases. If you act like that then you' look like a bully, but if you retaliate against the bully then you look like a homophobe or anything else like that. At this point I just flat out say that there is no point in dealing with any posts like that and it's best to just ignore them, as pointing out their flaws will only make you look bad, while giving them no attention at all will hopefully start giving some people the hint that insulting people isn't doing any good at all. Except of course, for when they're attacking you or friends.

I mostly ignore it, unfollow blogs etc. Sometimes though something so utterly ridiculous comes up and even though It's pointless I go and argue with them.

--

Feeling pretty off lately. I think the whole process of last summer vacation combined with the online courses has had a bad effect of me, in the sense of that I spend a half year with absolutely no legitimate social interaction (Well, in real life, not the web) with anyone outside my family, and even though I've always been a bit of a shy type I feel like it's worse now? I don't know, maybe it's not really that, but that I'm so shocked when someone actually talks to me that I don't even know how to respond properly. It's been a terrible awkward school year so far, because I have so much more want for meeting people but I'm having trouble with both finding people I could actually be friends with and actually becoming friends with anyone. I always have a little bit of hope when I enter a new school that there'll be at least someone interested in a new student but I guess that's just not the case anymore with people at this age, and I understand that, because if you have your friend group you have no need to really put any effort into meeting a new person. I just feel that even when I'm willing to make anything spawn from my side, I get no opportunities. I never have a reason to talk to anyone, I've asked and searched for tons and tons of advice but It's all so fucking bullshit and none of it works, and I become extremely frustrated with myself, because I don't know whether to blame any of it on me or the situation. And I don't wanna rant here or somewhere else online anymore. It helps, and it's great, but in the end if there's no balance between online and real socializing, it doesn't do its job. I sit pretty close to someone who seems fairly the same as me, and every minute I get that feeling of "Fuck it, I'm going to just start conversation" and then I realise I have nothing to talk to them about, so I just kinda sit there until class is over and hate myself for the next three hours because I didn't accomplish anything.

So I'm just kinda going through the days, trying to spend a little more time with my family, being a little hokey joke with online friends, and during those moments everything's overall okay, but I can't be left alone anymore. I instantly sink in this terrible mood and a really uncomfortable atmosphere comes up, and I don't think any of this is healthy. I value friendship a lot, even if I'm not a huge talker I really enjoy being around others or playing a listener, I love touching in the form of a hug or whatever, and I currently feel stripped from all of that. I'm just kinda here, I go to school and get home and during this time there's not a single person aware of the fact that I was there or of the things I did. I get urges to talk, to the point where I just wanna stand up and scream, and I know there's not anyone I can turn to. Parents don't really take anything serious, but at least I'm no longer fighting with them all the time. My brothers moving out in two weeks, so that cuts it down to literally two people for all my interaction. And like I said, I love the internet, I love my friends on it to death, but something really needs to happen because if it's like this until summer vacation hits and I spend another three months isolated from anyone and everyone, I'm going to hit depression even much harder than summer last year.

[Haruka]

A small ranting about the kind of people you find in national websites that almost work like eBay and/or Amazon, except there's no feedback system and you don't get commissioned for the postage of an annoucement if you are a seller.

There are people that really don't understand how the universe of selling and buying used goods work. I was thinking in doing an unusual buying of a small lot with the most ancient editions of Pokémon trading cards (because I like to collect these), but I planned to just buy those personally in a specific area of Lisbon. I thought the seller (that purposed me the selling) was in Lisbon so I decided to ask him for photos of what he had. Only after I notice he lives very far, so I explained kindly that I gave up in the purchase since the locations were different. Apparently, the dude got super offended in a way that he sent me a reply in a way like "Do you know there's a company called the CTT? Afterall it exists for this kind of situations.". I obviously didn't like the reply because every portuguese knows the public company of mail, so I took it as an insult. I only replied that to don't get me wrong but I was only planning to buy the cards personally [and like this not having to pay extra costs for shipping and avoiding to give really credible explanations to my parents if I was caught with a package in the mailbox (or the mailman knocking our door) with Pokémon cards]. He was probably overexpecting a guaranteed selling which is a feeling you can't really get when you are selling things in these kind of websites, eBay or not. I know what I say because I entered in this kind of market 5 years ago and I've seen many different types of buyers and "suppoused buyers". I've had since people that manifested interest for any of my goods, requesting photos and every kind of informations about them and then in the moment of paying nevermore getting an answer (I'm literally still waiting for a reply) to people that requested me an urgent selling of a good through "payment in destination" mode, I do that and days later the package returns back to me and the person not giving signals of life after e-mails demanding explanations (and as a result, loosing money from the shipping that wasn't refunded by the suppoused buyer). He wouldn't reply me like that if he passed through the situations I had before with buyers. I've had good Portuguese buyers before, yes, but there are others that only give me reasons to not trust in them. *End of rant*

[OCG]

I recently had a issue with one buyer as well. He was not living too much far away from me, but he did not want to do local pick up and was insisting me to send him package without paying first and that I get money when he receives package. I usually have no problem with that when selling, due the fact that PayPal there is limited for many people so I sent package only to find out that after 17 days it returned to me and I had to pay extra...

[Bradandez]

Okay, so my prom is just around the corner and I've decided I'm not going. I couldn't find a date (but I did try) but now it's been bothering me like real bad. It kinda makes me question my social life and where I fit in as a whole. I dunno. What should I do?

[Earth Gwee]

@Bradandez: I myself did not have what most consider a date for my Junior Prom, but I went with a good friend of mine. If you still want to go to prom, I recommend going with a good buddy to hang out with.

[Bradandez]

Well there's the thing, I don't want to go. Most of my friends are going but that doesn't necessarily mean I would be hanging out with them. I don't exactly "click" with a group most of the time. I don't know, this whole situation is just making me confused and upset, but thanks for the advice.

[Master]

Hmm, I recall going to the Prom with a tight-knit and small group of friends, not for the couples aspect, more just for the hanging out. I can't really say more than what Gwee has said, I'm afraid.

[OCG]

Okay, so my prom is just around the corner and I've decided I'm not going. I couldn't find a date (but I did try) but now it's been bothering me like real bad. It kinda makes me question my social life and where I fit in as a whole. I dunno. What should I do?

What should you do? Just don't worry. Many teens your age for some reason want to fit in and have a good social life, but when you get older, you will see that it does not really matter too much and that there are way more important things in your life like a career you want to pursue.

[Cairnie]

I didn't even go to my school's prom so it's not like it's mandatory or anything.

[Serza5]

^ Likewise. School Proms are over-glorified in movies and the like when in reality it's just a shoddy excuse to spend loads of money on suits/dresses and supposedly say good bye to all your classmates (under the assumption that you care about them). I can understand the whole social issue you have with deciding not to go but is prom really going to change that? Like if you wanted to hang out with more people why do it in such a place?

[Bradandez]

I guess you're all right about that. You know, I'm feeling a bit better about this whole situation. Thanks guys.

[Adsolution]

I went to one in grade 9, and it was just obnoxious. Their idea of a 'prom' is renting out an empty, windowless room, having the girls' and boys' schools get together in it with a DJ in the front playing trapcrap, and everyone moshpitting. The only time I've ever willingly moshed was at the Reading festival with Elbow and Muse (something I've never done at any other concert), because that was a truly awesome time and experience. But this school thing was simply embarrassing, I just stood at the back and drank ginger ale the whole time. Also, one of my friends got bashed in the head and had to go to the hospital, and people were found fucking on tables, so the schools haven't held a prom since.

Okay, so my prom is just around the corner and I've decided I'm not going. I couldn't find a date (but I did try) but now it's been bothering me like real bad. It kinda makes me question my social life and where I fit in as a whole. I dunno. What should I do?

Nothing, you seem fine to me. However, I can sense the primaeval instinct to get the girl lurking from within.

[Master]

Huh, mine was quite tame indeed, I didn't really do any of the dancing, not my kinda thing, I just hung out for the most part.