Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

[DandyGuy]

WITH MY FRIEND'S FAMILY

What hood you roll up out of?

Lol, an interesting one I suppose. I've lived in dense, Downtown ghetto-urban areas for most of my life, which are very different from the suburbs; I get the vibe that most people in RPC live in suburbs, either that or 'town' is a European slang people use to actually refer to 'city'.

Well, my parents are divorced, so half the time I live an a fairly good sized urban town, and the other half is spent in the sticks, sorrounded by rednecks.

[saerleiya]

This one is getting repetitive, don't you think Dandy?

[Dart]

WITH MY FRIEND'S FAMILY

What hood you roll up out of?

Lol, an interesting one I suppose. I've lived in dense, Downtown ghetto-urban areas for most of my life, which are very different from the suburbs; I get the vibe that most people in RPC live in suburbs, either that or 'town' is a European slang people use to actually refer to 'city'.

Well, my parents are divorced, so half the time I live an a fairly good sized urban town, and the other half is spent in the sticks, sorrounded by rednecks.

I know that feeling bro

Who said that it was a bad thing? My neighbors are some of the best Adults I know!

[DandyGuy]

This one is getting repetitive, don't you think Dandy?

yes, but if I know the feel Ill post it.

[Adsolution]

Well, my parents are divorced, so half the time I live an a fairly good sized urban town, and the other half is spent in the sticks, sorrounded by rednecks.

I find the moving back-and-forth between parents thing interesting, because neither myself nor anyone else I know who has a split family goes back and forth, they just stay with one. Yet here, it seems to be a more common thing for those with them.

[Dart]

Well, my parents are divorced, so half the time I live an a fairly good sized urban town, and the other half is spent in the sticks, sorrounded by rednecks.

I find the moving back-and-forth between parents thing interesting, because neither myself nor anyone else I know who has a split family goes back and forth, they just stay with one. Yet here, it seems to be a common thing for those with them.

It can get tiring, because I often have to play messager for my older brother, who should be more responsible. The moving back in forth part actually helps me out tons emotionally, because staying one home for to long can just get depressing (I don't get along to well with either one of my parents sadly)

[Adsolution]

I'd imagine that it's tiring, I would be pretty pissed if I could only use my desktop setup every other week. Laptops don't make do as well.

[technology4617]

Okay, seems legit. You don't like the dryness of alcohol, right?

You could call it that, I suppose, but I would more describe it as a kind of sharp and tart taste that I disliked.

Well, my parents are divorced, so half the time I live an a fairly good sized urban town, and the other half is spent in the sticks, sorrounded by rednecks.

That's how I feel whenever I go to my grandparents', though the sheer awesomeness of their house and it being right on the lake makes up for it.

I'd imagine that it's tiring, I would be pretty pissed if I could only use my desktop setup every other week. Laptops don't make do as well.

Oh, lol, I have a laptop hybrid with Intel 4400 graphics, and sadly it's the computer I use most of the time, even when I'm at home, even though it often annoys the shit out of me.

[saerleiya]

Okay, seems legit. You don't like the dryness of alcohol, right?

You could call it that, I suppose, but I would more describe it as a kind of sharp and tart taste that I disliked.

I mean, you can't really know the taste of pure ethanol, and I advise you not to try it I don't want you to die.

I'd imagine that it's tiring, I would be pretty pissed if I could only use my desktop setup every other week. Laptops don't make do as well.

Oh, lol, I have a laptop hybrid with Intel 4400 graphics, and sadly it's the computer I use most of the time, even when I'm at home, even though it often annoys the shit out of me.

As I have been on the move for almost three years since I entered my engineering school, I couldn't really afford myself to buy a desktop PC, as I don't have a driving license which would have helped me to move it. So basically I'm stuck to laptops, and even if I bought a new one some months ago, I still don't have a desktop PC. I've regreted it so many times. Alright, let's fidn a job first, and after that s*** is gonna get real.

[Dart]

I'd imagine that it's tiring, I would be pretty pissed if I could only use my desktop setup every other week. Laptops don't make do as well.

I alternate between a iPod and my laptop, between both households, so I work on projects and contests at my moms then upload them next week at my dads.

[Keane]

Yegh, I feel like whenever I'm on RPC I'm always complaining. Just a lil' rant of sorts because I don't have anywhere to put it, so feel free to just ignore it.

But my God, this day found a way to make itself even shittier than it already was. We're nearly hitting the first full year spend in the States since our little fiasco in the Netherlands last summer, and while I'm still in full agreement that right now I'm better off here then there, It's once again starting to become pretty clear that it's not somewhere I can spend a long period of time. Entering another school year and now being only three away from finishing that chapter of my life, It's making me spend a lot of time thinking about where I want to go with my life once I'm done. Thing is, I don't see myself ever starting my own life here. Americans are overall very kind people and it's a great place to be finishing up these final school years, but the country isn't the problem. It's that we're a year further, and still I feel no more home here than I did two or three years ago. It's just cultural difference, it's got nothing to do with the people. It's sorta comparable to meeting a very nice elderly person: You think their nice and don't mind interacting with them, but your differences keep your from becoming best buddies or dating. Course there's my anxiety, but that doesn't change the fact that I felt this way before all that began. Now, leaving the States is no easy task. My grades aren't bad but they're also nothing perfect, so I don't really see a lot of foreign colleges welcoming me in, and not a lot of places are gonna warmly welcome a young adult that's kind of not beneficial to them at all.

However I don't want give up early and just go "Well I guess I'll just start up my life here then" and enter a college/living on my own/having a job that can support me lifestyle. It's another four years, and at that point I think it'll be even harder to leave then it would be when I finish school. Problem is that this situation is becoming increasingly challenging, and whenever I try to discuss it with my father and ask him if he has any suggestions or things I might wanna look into, I instead get two parents giving me rants about how I'm not appreciating America and it's only not for me because I say it is. Funny, because the things they kind of complain about all the fucking time are the exact same reasons I don't feel at home here. They go "Americans are great friends if you give them the chance!" yet my mother could go on for hours about how she hated trying to gain contacts here and how glad she is she's found other Dutch people in the area. They go "Americans can be very attractive, you just don't understand what's attractive" which not only is them trying to tell me what I'm supposed to find attractive, but also one of the most fucking pathetic things they can say when both of them have stated they'd prefer not to date Americans and stick with Dutch people. Again, I don't hate the USA or the people, I just don't feel like the way things are done here is ever gonna grow on me, and these endless nonsense talks coming from people who seem to have pretty identical mindsets towards these things aren't doing much good. Yes, it would be tons easier and probably more financially secure to do it all here, but I feel like people are forgetting that's it not just about education and work, but also about actually kind of fucking enjoying your life as well. Sometimes I wish I could just find some passion that leads me to an entirely different route than the standard college one but I don't think I should be counting on that.

[DandyGuy]

I know that feel, but,

[Keane]

Ah crud, I was gonna delete that post because its so fucking whiny. You dandy asshole.

[DandyGuy]

Its called "Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums" for a reason. Sorry about that if it means anything I didn't find it "whiny."

[saerleiya]

I also tend to think that I am whiny too.

Something has been worrying me recently:

When I was in secondary school and high school, I learnt almost nothing for myself. My days could be seen as courses, homework, reading lots of books, doing sports, and dreaming. And when I entered prep school, I hadn't a lot of time outside of homework at all.

That's why when I managed to enter an engineering school, I told myself I wouldn't work that much to graduate, just enough: I didn't want to have a great double degree or be ranked #1. Screw this. I wanted to live and learn new things. Now I'm close to graduation, and I've learnt some interesting things. But many of them came from other people.

Right now, I am worried about what I can offer to people who helped me in return. I have the very annoying feeling that I can't give a lot of things to other people to thank them for what they did for me. Although I gathered an incredible amount of memories and knowledge over the past three years, I feel I'm not able to use it to the fullest and help people around me with it.

I don't see myself as worthless or depressed, but just lost somewhere in the fog, with others helping me to get out of here, but I can't find them and help them. My friends around me tell me that I'm always very kind to them, but I still want to be more than that. I want to be able to give to this world at least as much as what it gave me.

It is also true for the RPC, as many of its members already gave me more than I could ever imagine. Guys, many of you are awesome, working their ass off for Rayman and all what's around him. I want to be able to do as much as waht you did for me.

Thanks for everything. Again.

[Shrooblord]

That's why it's illegal: to restrict as much as possible the big consumers.

Coming from a country where weed is condoned by the law (it's not exactly legal, but the law never enforces getting rid of it either, unless you're creating farms - they go after farmers (yes, Brad, they do)), I know that when these kind of substances are legal, people are actually far less likely to overuse them. It's like growing up with snakes: you know where the danger lies and you know how to deal properly with them, but if you're new to snakes, you might freak out and do all kinds of crazy shit you're not supposed to. The key with drugs and alcohol is to not overdo them. The key with everything is to not overdo it. Water becomes toxic in large quantaties - I find that one of the best examples of 'balance out what you consume'.
===

And saer, although you may not think it, that's a good attitude to have. It will make you strive to be a better person each and every day, to improve yourself not just for your own good, but for that of the others around you. And don't worry - your friends like you for who you are; that's why they are your friends in the first place. Just keep bringing to them what you always have done and if you really feel shitty about yourself, try to think of a nice but small gesture to give them as a thank-you. It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be amazing. But it needs to be heart-felt. And if it is, they will know it.

[Keane]

Keep a good attitude towards yourself. Skills and such are nice things to be able to use to help other people, but in the end your ability to actually care about them in the first place is a million times more important. Someone who has it in them to just put up with me kind of being in a negative and upset mood all the fucking time are in my opinion way more valuable than the people who can do me favours.


----

Well, I was gonna try to keep out of this thread, but I feel what's been said to me this morning has crossed a line way too far and I'm not even sure whether to care immensely or not at all. I've been following the news of Ferguson, and it's been on my mind quite a bit. So obviously the topic tends to get brought up by me once every now and then because, you know, I live in this country, and I feel pretty concerned about it. Apparently that wasn't the right decision, and what happened after that pretty much confirms that all my mother's thoughts towards me still haven't changed. Being 16, I'm not allowed to keep up with news, and even less discuss it. No, 16 year old guys should be talking only about girls and school, and in a positive tone. Or, you could just say, I'm not allowed to break out of her believe that everyone younger than her is a fucking idiot, as is anyone who doesn't spend a lot of their time trying to pretend life is all good and fine. And normally I would have said okay and stopped, but it just felt so fucking wrong. To just go "yes mom ill only talk about the topics you want me to" is a fucking insult to my personality and everything. You don't want to raise a child who isn't exactly the way you want them to be? Don't fucking get pregnant then.

Ended up just fleeing to my room, but she came after me and start shouting about my social anxiety and how "they've done everything they could but im refusing to work with them" (You mean constantly not taking the situation serious and trying to tell the person actually experiencing it that that's now what it's like. All they fucking did was send me to some shitty counselor and then act disappointed towards ME when I didn't come home and say he did a great job). And of course her grand solution to it all: I should just stop having my problems and make friends and get a girlfriend and if I don't then I'm continuing to ruin the entire family. (All this talk about girls is also pretty much dumping my courage of coming out as bisexual to 0% again, and I seriously thought I was at a point where I almost wouldn't have to tell them anymore because it's so obvious.)

She's insulted everything from my personality to my problems and just about everything important to me. And she still wonders why I don't get out of my room. This family is so fucking fucked up, it's like every time I feel like I'm close to them again and appreciate the things they do for me again something like this happens and I have to yet again realise that she'll never just accept me for who I am, and all because she's too fucking lazy to spend 25 minutes just sitting down and shutting the hell up and actually listening to me without trying to find a reason to criticse and disagree with every word I say. I don't ever want to be like this when I'm older. I don't wanna judge every person who walks on the street, abuse my foreign language to talk behind the backs of people, not care when racism and homophobia are happening in the same place we live, think everyone who isn't like me is less important or intelligent. I don't think I'll ever be the most super confident or achieving person out there, but just not being that puts me so far ahead of them it's insane.

[saerleiya]

Well, I was gonna try to keep out of this thread, but I feel what's been said to me this morning has crossed a line way too far and I'm not even sure whether to care immensely or not at all. I've been following the news of Ferguson, and it's been on my mind quite a bit. So obviously the topic tends to get brought up by me once every now and then because, you know, I live in this country, and I feel pretty concerned about it. Apparently that wasn't the right decision, and what happened after that pretty much confirms that all my mother's thoughts towards me still haven't changed. Being 16, I'm not allowed to keep up with news, and even less discuss it. No, 16 year old guys should be talking only about girls and school, and in a positive tone. Or, you could just say, I'm not allowed to break out of her believe that everyone younger than her is a fucking idiot, as is anyone who doesn't spend a lot of their time trying to pretend life is all good and fine. And normally I would have said okay and stopped, but it just felt so fucking wrong. To just go "yes mom ill only talk about the topics you want me to" is a fucking insult to my personality and everything. You don't want to raise a child who isn't exactly the way you want them to be? Don't fucking get pregnant then.

Do not forget you are still 16: it's hard to be able to understand some complex aspects of subjects such as this one when you are young. Being able to stand back from the details takes time, expecially while you are living such a "terrific" period of your life (teenage years were incredibly hard for me to live too). However, you are right in the way that it's hard for people to accept that young ones eventually grow and become adults. I've done that with my youngest brother, only realizing I was beginning to ignore his own growth as a person until a few months ago.

And of course her grand solution to it all: I should just stop having my problems and make friends and get a girlfriend and if I don't then I'm continuing to ruin the entire family. (All this talk about girls is also pretty much dumping my courage of coming out as bisexual to 0% again, and I seriously thought I was at a point where I almost wouldn't have to tell them anymore because it's so obvious.)

Hard to tell to your own parents of course. My advice: your parents are right in many ways, but that doesn't mean they are always right. When you are becoming an adult, you can start to understand that you can make your own choices and decisions based on your own experience. Others may have some answers, but the final one is the one you choose yourself. So even if it's hard, don't try to explain your parents why some of your choices are the way they are until you feel it's the right moment to do so. Most of the time, it won't be before you could live without their help and be independant. At that moment, even if they disagree, you could simply tell them: "this is what I am, and I'm fine with it. If you are not, maybe it's sad, but I won't accept blindly any judgement upon myself".

She's insulted everything from my personality to my problems and just about everything important to me. And she still wonders why I don't get out of my room. This family is so fucking fucked up, it's like every time I feel like I'm close to them again and appreciate the things they do for me again something like this happens and I have to yet again realise that she'll never just accept me for who I am, and all because she's too fucking lazy to spend 25 minutes just sitting down and shutting the hell up and actually listening to me without trying to find a reason to criticse and disagree with every word I say.

Family life is hard, because they are the people you know the most. Keep focus, and start spamming the "music you are listening to know" topic like you used to doing it in the past.

EDIT: Typo.

[PluMGMK]

Just to point out that where you say "terrific", you probably meant "terrifying" or something like that. "Terrific" generally means something very good.

[saerleiya]

It's of course irony here: if you say you have passed through your teenage years completely unscathed with 0 conflict with other people, you are probably lying.