Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

[Earth Gwee]

I have to sit here in front of a window with the blinds open, making it hard not squint my eyes. My sister doesn't want to be in a dark room, which I understand, but I've always had a hard time with how harsh the sun is here. It's overcast now, but my computer is facing the open window and the back light is still harsh enough to start giving me a headache. I've told my sister I have a hard time with it, but she tells me to get used to it.

[saerleiya]

Ah yeah, if you are in face of a window while using a computer, it's very painful after some time. Best way to deal with it is to place it penpendicular to any source of light there is in your room.

Can't you rearrange your room so your desk would be perpendicular to the window? I know it's hard for you and your sister as you have been in th same bedroom for quite some time already, but you can tell her it's important for you and that after that you won't bother her anymore about it.

Or you can wear sunglasses to deal with the light, but your screen is gonna be affected the same way.

==

I'm annoyed: I will leave the US tomorrow, but I haven't been able to do anything particular or productive in the last few days. I'm on holidays, and I'm not enjoying the end of them, as when I went to Montréal I was between visiting the city, hanging out with friends, or procrastinating.

It's possible that because I have been on the move for one month already (going to 3 different places, sleeping on futons and couches), I'm getting tired of not being able to have my own place and to relax a bit. Even when I come back to France, I won't have my own bedroom as it is rented to a foreign student by my parents. Sure, I'm close to graduating and will probably find a nice place to live on my own, but until I see my girlfriend in one week, I won't have a real bed to sleep on.

I actually felt better after playing some video games with my little brother using Internet. But that's the annoying part: do I really need to play video games to get rid of frustration?

[Earth Gwee]

Ah yeah, if you are in face of a window while using a computer, it's very painful after some time. Best way to deal with it is to place it penpendicular to any source of light there is in your room.

Can't you rearrange your room so your desk would be perpendicular to the window? I know it's hard for you and your sister as you have been in th same bedroom for quite some time already, but you can tell her it's important for you and that after that you won't bother her anymore about it.

Or you can wear sunglasses to deal with the light, but your screen is gonna be affected the same way.

Unfortunately, our room is too small to rearrange so my computer doesn't face the window. And I have told her that it's giving me a headache, but again, she told me to get used to it. When we had separate rooms, my curtains were always drawn and my computer was perpendicular to the window. Since we live in Arizona, the sun is almost always out and when it reaches a certain spot in the sky the light is focused in a way that gives me headaches and drains my energy, so I would keep my drapes closed to avoid that. Plus, my bed was in front of them and it was always a pain to open and close them anyway. But to everyone else, they would jokingly call my room a cave and my mom would call me a vampire, which of course I resent. And I don't know how to explain that to my sister.

[Shrooblord]

Do I really need to play video games to get rid of frustration?

Probably not. Playing games is a way to distract yourself from what you're feeling right now, i.e. a way to keep yourself busy with things you do like. There's likely more things you can do in your life that would have the same effect. For me, for example, that would be drawing, writing, playing music, going outside to the park...

[saerleiya]

Mhh, that's rather problematic. I haven't been in the same kind of situation since I am the oldest of my brothers and I, so I happened to always have my own bedroom, even when we were livign in a flat more than 15 years ago. I don't know how it is to live permanently in the same room as your brother/sister (although I've faced this situation as a student with other students a few years ago).

Are you exactly against the window or a bit on the side? If you are on the side of it, you could use a little coloured umbrella to cover only your desk, so it won't affect your sister and you should be okay with light, plus it doesn't look like you are vampire and that yo uare trying to find a solution for everybody. If you are exactly against the window, well, maybe sunglasses. I know it looks like a joke to wear sunglasses (if you have a pair adapted to your vision, I noticed you are wearing glasses), but it can be a temporary solution to the problem until you find a good one. Unless you need a good amount of brightness in order to work properly on your computer. Hum :/...

And I don't know how to explain that to my sister.

Tell her it's very important to you, and that you are trying to find common solutions for both of you. If she sees you are trying to find fair ways of dealing with the problem (for you and her) and that you are worried about her as much as you, then maybe she will help you. You are sisters after all: you help each other in times of need .

But to everyone else, they would jokingly call my room a cave and my mom would call me a vampire, which of course I resent

Will you be wearing a vampire costume for Halloween? Show people around you that you understand their "negative" feeling of you spending too much time in a room darker than usual, but that you are the happiest this way, so you want your room to be like that. I learnt to make fun of my "far away on the moon" moments with my friends, but it's also a way to tell them that it is important to me to have these moments where I can just dream about other places.

[Earth Gwee]

@saerleiya: I'm always afraid to speak up about my discomfort because I don't want to get into a confrontation with her. She's always been one to trump how I feel about specific things such as this. As of now, the sun was starting to peak and she closed the blinds on my side, so I'm a little happier now. Unfortunately, it drained me of my energy and gave me a headache, as I thought it would. I do appreciate you trying to help, though.

The desk completely faces the window, which is much too large to set up any kind of umbrella. It's also west-facing, so it's very easy for light to flood in when the sun starts to set. I do need a certain level of brightness to work. If there's too much light coming in from behind or to the side of the monitor, it creates an imbalance and the darker bits are harder to make out. This can also cause headaches for me. Yeah, I'm pretty prone to headaches.

Also, we're not permanently sharing a room. It's only temporary. Right now our mom and dad are out looking at houses, since we're still trying to find an actual house to buy and live in, with separated rooms. We have barely over a month left to spend in our current living space.

[saerleiya]

Also, we're not permanently sharing a room. It's only temporary. Right now our mom and dad are out looking at houses, since we're still trying to find an actual house to buy and live in, with separated rooms. We have barely over a month left to spend in our current living space.

Yzah, I knew about that too: you mentioned it a few weeks ago on RPC, and I have a good memory . Well, I thought you were looking for an "immediate" temporary solution to the problem, that's why I suggested some quick ideas.

This can also cause headaches for me. Yeah, I'm pretty prone to headaches.

Aspirine? It's like me regularly having my throat becoming sour because I'm allergic to acarians, and, well, they are living pretty muh everywhere there is a bed or a bit of dust. Although it's annoying, as long as I can't follow a permanent treatment for allergies (which is two year long, most of the time), I have to deal with it by taking some light medicaments from time to time. But I guess you already tried to use aspirine every day and that it can't solve this issue for the entirety of the period where you have them.

[Shrooblord]

Not confronting someone because you have a problem can pack out poorly: people will assume they can just walk all over you because you give them that option. I'm talking from some first-hand experience here: sometimes you need to show your balls. Yes that goes for you Gwee. Don't take other people's shit if that's bothering you. Stand up for yourself. c:

[Earth Gwee]

Yeah, I know, Shroob. You're right. And I'm not trying to make an excuse, but I've always had a hard time standing up for myself. And I think that stems from a dark place in my childhood, probably during middle school. I had an aid that would make me feel like complete crap for every little mistake I made. She made me afraid to stand up for myself. But then I've also always had a fear of any confrontation within my family unit, so standing up against something that made me uncomfortable was out of the question for me. Even if I knew the other person wouldn't be mad at me for speaking up, it would take me a little while to muster up enough courage to do so.

This is starting to make me remember a time when Mom and I were going to classes together at my local university (which we're still doing, but the classes are all online this time). I would almost always stay up later than I should've at night and end up waking up late, causing us to run late for our classes. It got to the point where if I felt like I didn't get enough sleep I would refuse to get up, even if Mom yelling at me to get up. In my mind I thought if I was still sleepy in the morning there was no way I would function properly to focus on classwork. We often got into spats over this. And I actually started to develop a thicker skin. I even remember yelling back at her because I had had enough of her losing her temper over me. The reason I slacked off at all was because I was seriously regretting spending every school day with my own mother and I had already become aware of our old-as-dirt school system I was (and still am) financially obligated to deal with. Point being, I did manage to stand up for myself against my mom. When it comes to my sister, though, I don't have as much practice under my belt yet. And it's not that she's mean at all or anything, it's just a deeply rooted issue I have with myself.

[Adsolution]

Yeah, I know, Shroob. You're right. And I'm not trying to make an excuse, but I've always had a hard time standing up for myself. And I think that stems from a dark place in my childhood, probably during middle school. I had an aid that would make me feel like complete crap for every little mistake I made. She made me afraid to stand up for myself. But then I've also always had a fear of any confrontation within my family unit, so standing up against something that made me uncomfortable was out of the question for me. Even if I knew the other person wouldn't be mad at me for speaking up, it would take me a little while to muster up enough courage to do so.

People not giving you the chance, asserting themselves over you, are shit people. I'll once again reinstate my philosophy regarding many parents: They just can't do their job. The bare notion of a child being afraid to confront their caretakers is fucking retarded, and it isn't the child's fault.


------

As at least some of you I'd assume probably know, I've been playing piano since before I could speak, and I've nearly gotten my professional performing/teaching certificate. Everyone I know in-person (that aren't my closest friends) know me best as a pianist, regardless of what I show or tell them; that's how I'm usually 'introduced', and it's begun to annoy me. Now I don't mind recognition of course, but whenever someone asks me to play music with or for them, they only look at my piano-playing ability, almost always ignoring the fact that I also sing, produce, compose, play other instruments and all that, even do tech stuff. One of my friends that I'm not as close to as I used to be, a rather intensely religious fellow, invites me into his band, and when I show up to a practice, asks why I don't have my keyboard. This has happened across multiple 'bands', they always assume that the only thing I know and do is piano, and are very surprised that I actually do anything else. If I ask to play guitar or contribute some vocals, they just look stunned for a moment and pretend I hadn't said anything, and the aforementioned religious friend, up until recently when he saw me drumming quite well at a gig, was adamant that my position was as a 'pianist'.

I recently casually showed another someone I know a production of mine, and when I said that I wrote and produced it, it's almost as if he didn't believe me and changed the subject, and then five minutes later he's talking about busking, and telling me that I should piano busk. It almost blew my mind. I get it, maybe experienced pianists are harder to come by and the expectations people have from piano players are much higher given that it's usually seen as a more prestigious instrument to be taken seriously, but fuck, I think anyone who will actually go as far as to ignore someone else's interests and abilities because of it is incredibly selfish.

For this reason, even in the studio I regularly go to now to meet people and record/produce, I rarely speak of my own musical ventures, especially my piano, despite it being my primary instrument. I doubt most of the people I've known there and have interacted with in the production booth even know that I play piano, bar one of them who walked in on me playing one time. I don't want to make it sound like I'm talking highly of myself, but I completely understand how frustrating it must be for celebrities who always get pigeonholed into their initial roles, it's extremely difficult to escape. That's why I want to advertise myself as an artist and a musician over a pianist, a singer, a guitarist, an animator, or whatever, unless I'm applying for some particular role.


It's very difficult to find people who properly appreciate it either, as weird as it may sound, it's extraordinarily difficult. But that's why I'm so active in online communities, because there, the chances of meeting someone you can connect with are so much higher. That's how I found Rulez and Shroobie obviously, two people that I'll be music-making together with in the future. They get it. The chances of me running into people like them initially in-person are slim to none. In fact - and I'm not even joking here - I've only ever met one, and he's of course one of my closest real-life friends. But since he isn't skilled at playing an instrument, he obviously wouldn't be able to perform live with us.

[Shrooblord]

That's appalling. I can totally get how that gets you all worked up. I experience a similar thing with me being known as a drummer; all I ever do in bands is drum. I've finally convinced my current band I can also sing and now I can do both, which is pretty fun and terrifyingly hard - but I still want to play piano in a band some day.

I know you as a bit of a virtuoso, ignoring all prejudices bound with using that word. You know how to play guitar, sing, produce and play piano and you know them all extremely well. I think what you need to do is just happen upon people looking for anyone that can play anything other than piano. Once they know you as a guitarist, for example, you can play guitar with those guys and play piano with others. It may be hard to assert yourself as someone who can do loads of things, because that's not usually something someone is into, doing lots well instead of one thing great. However, you can take advantage of the fact that you're good at lots of things by doing each individual thing separately with different people. Maybe that'll help you feel better about it.

[saerleiya]

Well, at least you are identified for something. I'm not particularly gifted in most fields (or I'm gifted in very specific ones almost nobody recognizes...). I could walk around in a school or a studio without being noticed, aside from looking like I'm dreaming or like the sleepy guy .

And I learnt about Addy' for ROTD rather than for his 'musical' abilities. And I've always thought you were making as much digital music as 'analog'/real one.
And of course you are right: Internet is a great place to find people having the same tastes as yours. In less than two months, I already Skype'd with three people from RPC, and had fun with all of them.

People not giving you the chance, asserting themselves over you, are shit people. I'll once again reinstate my philosophy regarding many parents: They just can't do their job. The bare notion of a child being afraid to confront their caretakers is fucking retarded, and it isn't the child's fault.

It's not as easy as it seems: Many people are simply shy or valuing others' point of view rather highly. That's my case too: I'm always having a hard time arguing with my father as he has a lot of life experience and most of the time is right. He didn't do his job bad: Even if I'm 23, I've made a lot of mistakes during these years. The main issue Gwee is having is with her sister, which I find strange because it's not the same balance as between mother and son/daughter: aside from all the years before adulthood, I like to think I'm equal to my brothers, even if I'm the oldest: now they are all adults, and they have different points of view about different things.

[Adsolution]

but I still want to play piano in a band some day.

;D

I know you as a bit of a virtuoso, ignoring all prejudices bound with using that word. You know how to play guitar, sing, produce and play piano and you know them all extremely well. I think what you need to do is just happen upon people looking for anyone that can play anything other than piano. Once they know you as a guitarist, for example, you can play guitar with those guys and play piano with others. It may be hard to assert yourself as someone who can do loads of things, because that's not usually something someone is into, doing lots well instead of one thing great. However, you can take advantage of the fact that you're good at lots of things by doing each individual thing separately with different people. Maybe that'll help you feel better about it.

I've thought about some things - for some reason, I never thought about trying something like that, I guess it just didn't occur to me... probably because I don't know enough musicians I'd enjoy working with enough to do that. Maybe once I'm finally at post-secondary next year hopefully, I'll find some more.

It's not as easy as it seems: Many people are simply shy or valuing others' point of view rather highly. That's my case too: I'm always having a hard time arguing with my father as he has a lot of life experience and most of the time is right. He didn't do his job bad: Even if I'm 23, I've made a lot of mistakes during these years. The main issue Gwee is having is with her sister, which I find strange because it's not the same balance as between mother and son/daughter: aside from all the years before adulthood, I like to think I'm equal to my brothers, even if I'm the oldest: now they are all adults, and they have different points of view about different things.

Regardless whether someone's right or not though, I find it a much more fundamental thing for a child to at least feel always open to their parents. I personally don't think most people have high enough standards for parenting, we often overlook some of the things they say and do as simply being 'caring'. I'm not jumping to conclusions over your and Gwee's families of course, I'm just speaking generally. Of course, parenting isn't an easy task, but from what I see, a lot of parents are being horribly unoriginal in a way that negatively affects the child.

[Shrooblord]

but I still want to play piano in a band some day.

;D

Heh. Heh. Ha. o

But yeah, the main problem is that noone really knows what they're doing. In a lot of things in life, we're just guessing our way through it. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't. But you gotta try to behave your best towards your child because in the end, you're the one that little person is going to have to learn 'how to do life' from. There's no YouTube tutorials; you're the real deal. And if you mess it up, you'll mess your kid up. And that's scary - but scary is good. It keeps you thinking on your feet.

[iHeckler9]

With a simple community meme I have been laughed out of one of my favourite communities on the web. They're now mimicking me to try and and get laughs outta me.
It was tolerable at first but now it's spiralled into something I can't control. So I'm leaving for a couple of days to try and put this blasted issue behind me.
I MEAN WHAT DOES BLURT BLOG IN L EVEN MEAN

[Cairnie]

Fed up with so many things right now and I think post-holiday blues is one of them. I only have to spend a week back with the shitty people in this town and it's enough for that to kick in.

The other thing is Tumblr. Apparently it's hip to be a prude and therefore be offended by the slightest thing, when ironically the site is full of porn and other NSFW content that's not tagged. Also, I don't want to namedrop but I'm fed up of people feeling like they need to reblog a million things on the trot in one day, I mean like how many reblogs of Five nights at Freddy's does one person need to make in one day for example? I know there are extensions that can help cut this stuff down from my dash but that's not the point. I wouldn't clog my own blog up with that many reblogs, so why would other people want to do this to theirs? I just don't get it.

[saerleiya]

Best solution is to remove friends responsible for the reblogs. But that's really extreme.
I don't spend my time on TumblR, although I have an account (same thing for DeviantArt). I created one just to follow a few artists I like, or to post a few things, but nothing more. Even on Facebook I'm not very active, but sometimes I can write several statuses per day. it really depends on my mood.

[Rayfist]

Apparently it's hip to be a prude and therefore be offended by the slightest thing

You mean like Social Justice Warriors?

[Cairnie]

You mean like Social Justice Warriors?

I don't know if you've seen it but it's the whole Paul Robertson controversy regarding his work on Gravity Falls and then people only just finding out that he's done NSFW stuff outside of it.

[Serza5]

Also, I don't want to namedrop but I'm fed up of people feeling like they need to reblog a million things on the trot in one day, I mean like how many reblogs of Five nights at Freddy's does one person need to make in one day for example? I know there are extensions that can help cut this stuff down from my dash but that's not the point. I wouldn't clog my own blog up with that many reblogs, so why would other people want to do this to theirs? I just don't get it.

I have an awful feeling this may be me considering what's been going on.