Pluses (+) and minuses (−) of this day

[Adsolution]

Haven't been on here for a while; what's up.

Not cool, bitch, you better stick your ass to the RPC poop deck for the next few weeks!

wut to clean off your clenching anus?

since you offered you may do that as well

no doug tennipples would not approve of one man doing something near another man's anal cavity

well yea thats why you apply anal plaster (plaster for the anus)

[MrBadGuy]

+ going home this afternoon
- got a cold though innit

[Rulez]

+ Christmas is coming, and I have no idea what the FUCK is wrong with me, but I kinda feel like I'm slowly starting to like Winter. Now, I don't know if anyone of you remembers, but I used to really fucking hate Winter, and especially snow. But now, well, while I still kinda feel like I dislike walking around in the cold, I'm starting to get a tingly feeling when it's snowing and everything is white, and I'm walking through it. It's so charming.

Jesus, what have I become

[Master]

Oh blimey, Rulez happy at snow, who'd have thought?

- As for me, snow makes me nervous these days, amazing how the commute changes one's perspective.

[Hunchman801]

+ Feeling Christmassy.

[Snagglebee]

- Still need to finish couple exams before christmas time...

[MrBadGuy]

+ just realised christmas is this month
- not too bothered about christmas

[Rulez]

+ Feeling Christmassy.

And to think, last year, I would say "whatever, I couldn't care less"! Merry almost Christmas, Humch! Merry almost Christmas, everyone!

[THEdragon]

- The breeze blowing into my bedroom is making me cold.
+ At least it's keeping my laptop cooler, so it will take longer for it to overheat and crash.

[Keane]

-/+ Anxiety can always be controlled and lowered, and lately things have been fine. Still though, it's never quite perfect. It's all the small habits like being overly focused on whether my hair looks good, if someone in the distance is looking at you, thoughts about whether other people are noticing you, it's exhausting. Even at home it doesn't always stop. I think it's really just such a strange situation still, that I walk into a building with a several hundred people, and just manage to leave there without saying a word, or anyone remembering that I was there that day. And then you come home, and it's... good, but something is just missing. I love my family to death but I can't connect with them in a way that I want to, and I feel like I'll never be quite able to express myself as actually myself to them. But then when it becomes night and responsibilities and people just flood away for a few hours, it's such a fucking beautiful time of the day. It feels so incredibly free and comfortable. I think the main problem I really face is that I no longer want just acquaintances and all that stuff, I just want someone who can make me feel this way around them. I don't think I'll ever really be able to describe how it feels to on one hand crave some human interaction so much, but on the other hand once you get it you feel so troubled by how to approach it that you almost wish it was gone again. Every interaction I have right now feels dead. And the thing is, it's not so much about me wanting someone who tells me that they appreciate me and who I am, but more about being able to just have a bond with someone. To be able to feel like myself around them, and for them to feel that way around me too, to be able to share something with someone. And the beautiful but also terrible part of it all, is that I've already found that person. I want to get to know them a ton more, and they aren't attempt to hide their interest in me either, but with both of us having social anxiety, it's fucking hell. We're nearly a year further, and all we've done is a ton of acknowledging the other person and such, with a few short small talk conversations. Even when you feel like you've found a solution to a problem, social anxiety still put a wall between it. I can talk to this person any time of the day, and I can just be honest with them, but something in me is just resisting and endlessly convincing me not to do it, and that's really the bitter reality of living with this shit.

[Xenon]

- Feeling sad reading about Keane's difficulties. I really hope you find a path soon.

- Finance is going to be difficult for me over the Xmas period.
- Have been feeling pretty depressed lately.

[Jewish Candy]

-- Feeling for both Keane and Xen. Christmas is tricky enough without extra social/financial anxiety on top... I hope you'll both be okay.

[Xenon]

+ Thanks for the concern there

+ The town looks beautiful this time of year, hoping for some snow soon

[Imco]

- Feel bad that I haven't been here for a week or so, but I really need to study for my oral exam next week :/
- Want to spend time here
- Shouldn't have waited so long before reading my books
+ Tenshi sent me some delicious pralines and a Christmas card

[saerleiya]

- Can't get rid of a little cold.
- My parents don't seem to be able to talk to each other at the moment. I have actually become the guy in the middle trying to help both of them while hiding what they say about their relationship to the other. It's kinda weird. I don't like hiding secrets to other people because they just can't tell each other the truth, but I guess I'll have to wait.
- Forgot about a scheduled Skype call with my GF yesterday. I remembered it while I was already moving to watch a movie in a theater. It made me feel very guilty, and I immediately apologized. But due to the family trouble plus searching for a job and Xmas presents, I've had my mind busy all week long.
+ Finished my first two paintings planned as Xmas presents. My GF is going to receive a big bad 40cmx60cm Smaug with tons of colours, and my little brother a shoop da whoop firing a train from the national railroad company he was just hired by. IMMA FIRIN' MAH TGV!
+ Still feeling good: my week wasn't that bad, I've been productive :3.

[Jewish Candy]

--- A wonderful dancer, who shall remain nameless, broke his leg while performing for us at a comp today. The poor man was screaming in agony and the ambulance was still half an hour away when I had to leave. The worst part, this will keep him off the job for at least 3 months - he's very popular worldwide, he'll have to cancel a whole host of bookings. I can't imagine how he must be feeling right now...

[incognito]

- Humans

[saerleiya]

+++ This baby is ready for being a Xmas present!



+++ This one too. FIRIN' MAH TRAIIIIIIIN!

[Xenon]

+ The awful headache I had this morning has subsided

- I think I have food poisoning

[Jewish Candy]

Get better Xen!

-- I am worried about inco. Perhaps I shouldn't be. But his posts two weeks ago, "- humans" yesterday and now his farewell? Inco, if you see this - stay safe man, whatever you decide to do.