Pluses (+) and minuses (−) of this day

[Ambidextroid]

+ Finally, the shop restocked on chocolate Hobnobs. First I've had in many a year.
? Confused by how many there are in a pack... I think 15, but it seems odd considering 12 (or multiples of 12 in larger packs) is basically the McVitie's standard...
- I feel a bit sick so I'll save them for later

[Reese Riverson]

+ Today is Friday, yay! Maybe I can find something to do on the weekend.

- Ambidextroid is making me hungry-er.

[Rulez]

+ Friday, and I don't have anything (/much) to practise!
+ my friend (the one I'm "racing" in percussion class this semester, hehe) and I got the first piece for the second semester. A really fucking cool xylophone song, Temptation Revamp:



+++ it appears way fucking easier than Joplin on Wood. I can nail this in one week, then I'll move on to vibes, marimba and the rest.

[Μaster]

+ Spot of tea.
- Uni class

[Ambidextroid]

- Not a spot of tea
-/+ End of going to uni

[Shrooblord]

I'm gonna post something quite personally emotional here. Brace. Brace.
- this whole next part

I was just in an arguement with my band. It started with me stating I couldn't come practise today, since I'm sick. We have a gig in three weeks so I expected them to be ticked off. Instead, they were far worse. First, the singer suggested I should just sleep now and come for a little bit. I explained I did that last week too and ended up with a two-day fever and a sickness that dragged on a week longer than it would have had to, causing me to still be sick today. I apologised. I was about to write 'but I will have brushed up on our material next Friday, I have a few days off next week' when he said "And stop that fucking English." Most of my text was English, since I'm bilingual and when I'm in distress or can't think straight, my mind jumps to English and shuts off all Dutch. What little Dutch vocabulary I had in that moment was shut down by his comment. The guitar player joined in saying "Yes that English is fking annoying go away" I said

~^~ I can't. im sick and my head's all wonky i cant think

as a little plea for compassion. He instantly responded with

Houd dan je godverredomme bek [Then fucking shut your goddamned mouth]

I closed the chat.


+ The exam I had today felt fine. I may have passed. Fingers crossed.

[Reese Riverson]

Gee, that's a pretty harsh thing they did to you, Shroob. To me they are no true friends by how they treated you, and it got me sad just seeing that.

- Really feels bad for Shroob.

+ Shroob may have passed his exam at least.

[Jewish Candy]

- Oh, Shroob, that's awful. God, what nasty fucks, if you don't mind me saying. You don't start with that shit if someone's well, let alone if they're ill... what a horrible situation for you to be in. I hope you'll be okay.
- Shroob shouldn't have to put up wid dat shit

[Reese Riverson]

- I am sorry you had to go through that, Shroob, it still just bugs me they did that...

- I'm a doofus and forgot to select my credit card for a payment method over my bank account on a paypal transaction.

+ Fortunately that really isn't an issue though.

[Ambidextroid]

- Yeah, that truly sucks. Are they actually your friends?

- That reminded me of something I was going to say that happened a few days ago, but I forgot...
Me and a friend where having an argument over Mario Kart Wii. Not a shouty/heated argument, just a regular one.
He said Mario Kart Wii sucked, and when I said it was my favourite Mario Kart by far, he said it was bad because it had "GameCube Graphics"...
What the hell? I said that the GameCube didn't even have that bad graphics, and that Mario Kart Wii's graphics where really good even today. He kept denying it, he made false claims about how you could see all the polygons and how the maps looked terrible, and when I showed him the first image I could find (the graphics where fine and the model of the character had no visible polygons) he just made a really awkward face like he had just eaten something bad, or more like he was saying I was being a fuckwit...
I said his arguments where just based on opinion, and weren't even true, and as I was about to walk over to another one of my friends he suddenly threw his bag on the floor and had an incredibly angry facial expression, shouting "FUCK YOU" and continued to storm off...

He came back and said he was sorry, and we jokingly shared a hug, but I didn't understand why he just snapped, and it kind of scared me at the time (I thought he might attack me, he sometimes does as a joke and I don't say it's a bother in case it hurts his feelings).
I think he may have anger problems or something, I'm not sure, but we're still good friends.

Still, nowhere near as bad as what happened to you, Shroob, they must be some mean people, probably with NPD

[Reese Riverson]

- Always hated when people made claims like that about graphics. Plus, many of us are here for the game play, not eye candy.

[Ambidextroid]

- Yes, another thing I said to him. I thought the gameplay of MK7 was quite good, but not MKWii level. MK8 was quite disappointing really, I'm not sure what it is but I just don't find it anywhere near as fun as MKWii. I can't remember Double Dash that much but I did play it when I was little, and I remember it had some pretty unique shortcuts.

[Reese Riverson]

- had a cousin that kept making claims the PS2 had better graphics than the "crap" gamecube with Legend of Zelda, Wind Waker.

[Ambidextroid]

- Oh dear...

[Shrooblord]

Thanks guys. It helps a lot. To answer your questions: only the bassist in that band is really my friend. And he's got my back - he was supporting me in private chat. They got a replacement drummer for tonight and I accidentally wished them good luck and have fun practising in English again o nooo ~ drama ensues.
Anyway - I try to like the rest of the band. One guitar player seems friendly enough, but he's almost never around, the other is enjoyable and an incredible player but his personality... sorta clashes with mine. He's a bit more of that roughy-toughy attitude a lot of boys have that I'm not into at all. Then there's the singer. Oh, the singer. I don't like gossiping about people behind their backs so I'll just leave it at that he annoys the crap out of me even though I try to find so many good things in him... and the bugger has a great voice too so it's kinda ~yeaahhh~. The bassist - true friend. Tons of fun. I'm starting to realise he's really the main reason I even play in that band (other than playing with some fine musicians). He's a friend from secondary school I otherwise would probably not get to hang out with that often since he's got a to-the-brim schedule. But I get to play music with him and goof around every Friday, which is something I'd severely miss, should it end.

This ordeal has made me realise I stand before a dilemma. These people really aren't my type of folks and the situation will never improve. I love drumming. I love it, but there's no point if the band is crap (not music-wise tho). But then there's the friend who I couldn't really see any other time... nyeh. And I learn a lot of useful stuff there, too, from the guy in charge of the joint. He points out some good things.

I'm writing my thoughts down as they come to me as if this is some sort of diary (and I even made a dedicated thread for that for crying out loud). I hope you don't mind. I guess I just need to vent.

It's no fun being sick and having a headache and also having all these things raging through your head. But I'm very happy seeing the support you guys give me. Sorta shows, doesn't it. A band of real-life strangers but years-long acquaintances (can I call you my friends? I'd hazard most of you are by now...) on the web treat me better than people I meet face-to-face each week. Honestly, I'm a bit apalled.

The ball's rolling. Let's see where my mindgears make it land.

Thanks.

Continue.

[Reese Riverson]

I'm all for giving a good true friend support, but if the others treat you like crap, I don't think you need to be in that position at all. Mostly for your sake. At least you can still hang out with your friend anytime though. Those memories will never be forgotten, I'm sure.

And yes, you can call us friends. The way I see it, you can have true and loyal friends over the internet as much as you can in person. We still live in real-life, we just have means of communicating differently with each other due to long-distances.

I mean sure, we can live in a fantasy world with imagination, but when it comes down to being there for a friend, it's the real deal when people are there for you.

[Xenon]

Hope the situation sorts itself out. They sound like questionable friends to me as well, but that's something only you can deliberate. Be yourself and see where things go, I suppose.

On a side note it's really interesting that you think and talk in English. Makes me want to properly learn a second language, or at least make a concerted effort.

- My lips are dry. Really fricking dry.

[Jewish Candy]

Sweetheart, if there's a place to vent it's here. Like Hood said, we're real people even if we communicate via text and we all wuv you.

It's really difficult when you're in a toxic environment that, nonetheless, has its upsides like your friend and the manager fella. You're juggling emotional poison and artistic steroids. And it's such a shame that this is the only way you and Friendly Neighbourhood Bassist can hang out... If only there was some way to keep seeing FNB, playing drums and jamming with great musicians without having to be troubled by those fucks.
I'm really feeling for you right now, but I'm sure your mindgears will chug-chug-chug along to the right decision.

(I didn't realise you were fully bilingual, despite the fact your English is pretty much native level. I'm nowhere near fluent in Spanish, but stick me there for a week and at least 10% of my conscious thought ends up in castellano... I've always wondered what it's like to have a properly bilingual brain, code-switching is fucking fascinating to me.)

[Shrooblord]

The funny thing is I switch randomly throughout the day, or, much to people's dismay, within the same sentence. It's kinda chaotic but I love it. Some languages express some ideas so much better than others - trying to paraphrase is... wrong sometimes and gives an askew image of what was intented, so then I don't translate. Confusion abound. Makes me wonder whether I really should learn Japanese and Russian (one of my bucket list items) or whether that'd just mess up my conversations with people more.

I have an Italian friend who speaks six languages and she'll literally go

Ah, it's so come si dice, geweldig, no? Hmm? Genau, genau!

and I love it. She doesn't get less understandable somehow. I imagine that may be me some day. xD


PS - Candish post get!
Yeah basically, you have two minds in one. You don't ever cross wires or anything, but some values (it's especially the morals and values I love taking away from each language I know - they enhance your philosophy on life so much somehow, just the way the entire language was construed, y'know) will be borrowed from either 'side' of you and some phrases become far more expressive in another language.

For instance, the Dutch have the word gezellig. It's quite a generic word; you can say 'oh that's gezellig' or 'last evening was really gezellig' or even 'Hey will you come round? Yes? Gezellig!' and it sort of means the same thing in all cases, but it also really doesn't. The very best way I can explain this is by dissecting the word completely. At its root is the word gezel- which is used in gezelschap, meaning 'company' as in within the company of good friends. That's also one of its first meanings. But at the same time, a house can be gezellig - it can be cosy. A town can be gezellig, meaning welcoming and/or inviting. When a party is gezellig, it's not busy and not empty, but somewhat - again, I guess - cosy.

All these meanings are superimposed onto each other and mean all of them all at the same time every time you use the word. It's never confusing, it's never misused. Everyone always knows what you're talking about when you use it in any situation and there's simply no translation. There is no word in English that does that and conveys exactly that same meaning in all cases.

And the other way around, almost every word in English has about nine different synonyms that mean slightly different things and have all these brilliant nuances that Dutch doesn't grasp with its one translation for the different ones in English. It's quite superficial in that way too, sometimes.

Both languages leave room for each other to complete themselves and I get the feeling that if I were to somehow learn a bit of each language on Earth, I would find that all languages do that. Yes, there's overlap but there's also differences, gaps in one language filled in by the other.

I guess my sense of harmony and union that I believe all things ultimately require directly boil down from my being a - pardon - being of such harmony. I am always in two states at once yet not at all disconnected. I am one in soul and split down the half in language. But it doesn't make me fragmented or less sharp - both languages complement different parts of my soul and I adore it to bits. I wouldn't have wanted to be anybody else for the world.


PPS
Wow this got super-Shrooblord-existential all of a sudden.
If you managed to read through all that, excellent. Good read, I hope. Maybe it sparked some questions about your being too? I'd love to hear.

Tetraphosphate-sulfur
Also English stems from Dutch in many ways and me also having learnt Greek and Latin I see so many pathways of how words found themselves into the languages they now comprise. It's so fun on so many levels trying to find all these hidden strings that weave human history together through language, thoughts, culture... we're quite interesting beings. As long as we don't get too interested in ourselves and forget about the other lovelies that roam this world with us.

Quintouple Photoshop
Thanks again for reading this got longer the more I wrote pls r8 10/10 IGN wuld recommend

[Reese Riverson]

I've never been successful in trying to learn another language. French was one I wanted to but never was sure how to go about doing so.

The whole "Rosetta Stone" thing doesn't seem to be it either for me.