Keane wrote:<'s feeling severely depressed today and < doesn't know fuck to do anymore. <'s lost motivation for everything, even talking to <'s parents feels exhausting, and <'s face looks genuinely upset and angry at all times now, fucking wreck. < can't deal with school's bullshit anymore, and preferably < would love to just get up and leave, spend entire days away from anyone and not have to deal with the fucking bullshit of every day. It's never been this bad, like it's finally lead up to the inevitable worse <'s been dreading. < is just angry with everything, the superficiality of school, the people who misinterpret every movement < makes, hardly seeing a point in talking to people anymore if all it brings me is just more anxiety and regret, and < can't even talk anymore without making it all too clear how badly < wishes < wasnt there.
< can't even describe how it feels, it's like people are just screaming inside their heads all day and for you there's just silence, and you can't really put anything into words anymore. It makes no fucking sense but that's it, and it's like I'm not even here anymore: just constantly chasing some sort of relief, and feeling extremely anxious about everything. Every night I go to bed dreading the next day, and it's the most crushing thing. The only times I ever feel the slightest bit of anything is when I'm away from the usual and daily routine, like being away from the things I associate with my situation for a while. I can't stand the people, the school, my room, the atmosphere, all of it, it's like a fucking disease. I really shouldn't be posting this here but I just don't have anywhere else to go.
< can only suggest pulling through. < knows that's a lame-ass thing to say but sometimes enduring is the only thing we can do to get by. In any case, just know that however far apart we may be, < thinks your a pretty sweet guy, < knows you can get past this shit part of life and move on to better things!
