Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

[incognito]

I really don't care about my hairs or my look, i have a seventies haircut....

i should begin to think about cut my hairs cuz its hard to wear my mask with it.

[Dart]

Last Tuesday I hade something of a mental meltdown during work (I work in a restraunt in a retirement community). My mom drive me there late and I had to clean all the silverware at my section because the ass that had the set the day previous had set all 16 seats with dirty silverware! Overall I found myself making blunder after blunder until one of my managers got pissed and yelled at me. And I may have started crying... I had to go into the dry storage area until I could get it together, and proceeded the last hour and 1/2 a lot better. Still really embarrassed about having an emotional breakdown at work, so I'm glad Ill be on vacation for a week Sunday (going to my sisters, will still be posting)

[Keane]

Ah yeah, I hate constantly messing up in front of people. A problem I run into all the time is that I'll make one mistake and it makes me so nervous and embarrassed I start to make more and at that point I can't even hide how anxious I'm feeling. But hey, vacation's something to look forward to!

[sonicbrawler182]

That reminds of the time where I broke down crying in school near the end of my final school year. My Biology teacher took me outside of the classroom to talk to me about moving down to ordinary level in time for the exams, and had previously been hassling me about this, and other teachers in other subjects I was doing were suggesting the same, and the career guidance teacher was always chasing me down and I would miss classes because he was talking to me about stuff. There were a lot of other things on my mind as well, and I can't remember exactly what was said, but I think it has little to do with it. I was just really stressed about the incoming exams and had other troubles, so I ended up just cracking that one time.

It didn't help that I went to an all-boys school with a lot of people who might potentially make fun of me for it. Luckily, nobody in my year or who I really knew saw me (and I wasn't balling my eyes out and making noise, just the tears were trickling down and I felt really awful inside). Two of my other teachers saw me, and only one of the two mentioned it (and when he did, he didn't even refer to the fact that I was crying).

It wasn't necessarily the teacher's fault though even though she was stressing me out a bit, I considered her a nice person despite the bit of stress she gave me She was one of those teachers that comes across as angry and unstable as fuck when you don't have her for any subjects, but then you have her for something for a bit and she starts getting more light hearted and casual, and really fun. However, she could still be very blunt when you weren't doing well, perhaps more than necessary. Her intentions are good though, she seemed like she genuinely cared about how you did because she wanted to see you do well, and not just for her personal record. She let me go for a walk on my own when I started tearing up.

[beebo44]

Speaking of teachers, in my experience I've had a couple of teachers that have been just terrible. Primary school was pretty smooth sailing apart from one or two exceptions of teachers with really short tempers. I mean seriously. Don't work at a school with children if you have a short temper. High school is where I started getting some bad teachers, especially this year.

My Science teacher is an absolute fucking idiot. All he ever does is make us copy pages of text into our books, never providing an explanation for any of the things we're writing about. He has given us incorrect classwork on a couple of occasions and outright targets me and my group of friends in class. We're not a bad group or anything, we complete the work given and during the work we chat amongst ourselves. While we're having quiet conversations the rest of the class is yelling to each other and doing fuck all, but who does he decide are the cause of the problem? That's right, us. Every single time. He has given out pointless detentions to me and my friends a few times, for example: one of my friends didn't start the work we were supposed to be doing until about 20 minutes into the lesson. Nonetheless, he completes it before the end of the lesson but our teacher decides he deserves a detention because he "didn't start early enough". Ok what the actual fuck? I understand if he didn't complete it but he did, what is there to punish? As a final note whenever I try to dispute something with him, if the conversation stops going his way and even if I have a valid point his answer is: "I don't want to argue about this with you."

Anyway, I won't say anything about the other teacher this year because that'll double my post size and frankly I'm lazy.

[technology4617]

I'm getting very tired of, essentially, getting verbally abused by my mother on a weekly basis. She tends to do this to my dad and I whenever she is stressed for some reason, touting that as an excuse for her awful behavior, or alternatively just blames it on me or my father. After her day-long tirade, she tends to calm down, sometimes even apologizing, but, really, apologies are worthless after you've done the same thing likely hundreds of times.

However, she usually thinks her behavior is somewhat justified, despite occasionally apologizing, and nearly always snaps at me when I even suggest that her behavior might not be entirely appropriate.

My dad isn't exactly perfect either, his tirades generally being harsher and more violent (metaphorically speaking, though he has threatened violence on several occasions), but as his outbursts are more infrequent and since he can (sometimes) acknowledge he did something wrong, it's less of an issue. And, really, I have basically no problem with my mother other than this; I just want her to stop and think about what she's doing, but I doubt she ever will.

[iHeckler9]

Speaking of teachers, in my experience I've had a couple of teachers that have been just terrible. Primary school was pretty smooth sailing apart from one or two exceptions of teachers with really short tempers. I mean seriously. Don't work at a school with children if you have a short temper. High school is where I started getting some bad teachers, especially this year.

>long-ass post<

Tell me about it. My maths teacher was very much the same, constantly swearing and berating innocent kids while others played "Sniper". Luckily I got a private tutor and I ended up with an A.

[Keane]

I once had a teacher who really disliked me for whatever reason. He'd always blame me for things other people did or make fun of me in front of the class. I remember one time I was literally doing nothing more than just scratching near my crotch and in front of the entire class started going "What are you doing? I think you know what you're doing, why don't you tell everyone?". Unfortunately I was barely eleven at the time so I just kept saying I didn't know what he was talking about, otherwise I'd probably walked straight to the principle and see how she felt about that. Honestly, I feel like some teachers are doing the job for the sole purpose of giving themselves a fake sense of controlling.

---

I've lately been feeling a bit frustrated with my social anxiety again. Even though I'm more than happy to be on vacation and taking a break from the constant pushing that school does to it, but guitar lessons are starting to seriously become an issue because of it. I just can't do it, taking private lessons. Having someone look at me and see every mistake I make, to me, is pretty much equal to coming in there and having him recite every single bad aspect about me, and it fucking sucks because I do like the lessons, I just mess up when it comes to talking. It's almost completely silent - all we do is him saying instructions and me going "ok. yeah. mhm.". It's so embarrassing, because I see him having whole conversations with the other people in the building and I feel like I'm just an annoying lesson he needs to get through.

And, of course, summer vacation still has quite some time left but it is closer to the end than the start, and just the thought of the amount of anxiety I had to sit through the entire year is overwhelming. I still feel like school just got out and now I'm about to have to go through it all over again. Sort of like having that feeling that someone's staring at you only you can't find the person and its ten times worse.

[Adsolution]

I've lately been feeling a bit frustrated with my social anxiety again. Even though I'm more than happy to be on vacation and taking a break from the constant pushing that school does to it, but guitar lessons are starting to seriously become an issue because of it. I just can't do it, taking private lessons. Having someone look at me and see every mistake I make, to me, is pretty much equal to coming in there and having him recite every single bad aspect about me, and it fucking sucks because I do like the lessons, I just mess up when it comes to talking. It's almost completely silent - all we do is him saying instructions and me going "ok. yeah. mhm.". It's so embarrassing, because I see him having whole conversations with the other people in the building and I feel like I'm just an annoying lesson he needs to get through.

How is the guitar playing going over all?

I've been 'playing' guitar for three years, but the reason I began taking lessons this year is because I don't see "having someone look at me and see every mistake I make" as a bad thing, I see it as a wonderful thing. I value the notion of someone so highly skilled being able to look over and critique my playing, to correct my bad habits and guide me towards being a better player. When my lessons began I was quite silent, and I still am to a degree. But, I practice everything I'm being shown, and I practice fixing the mistakes that I make, there's always progress being made. To me, that's where the real joy and satisfaction comes from. If you enjoy the lessons, don't worry about forcing yourself to be talkative if you don't want to be. You're there to learn guitar, and if your teacher sees that want to learn in you, I'm certain he's more than happy to teach you. Maybe he finds your quietness to be a nice or interesting break from all the talking. Of course, I don't know him, but I'm just mentioning possibilities.

[Shrooblord]

Quite; what Ads said is pretty much my thoughts on the matter. My drum teacher and I filled a quarter of the lesson talking while rehearsing, but most communication was done through the drums - be that jokes, instructions, stories; all were told through the rhythms. I liked that. I liked it a whole lot more than the band lessons I'd have with the teacher that'd do nothing but talk and basically bullshit our way through the lessons (even though he had good points sometimes and he's a pretty ok guy overall).

I always ask for critique when I do things. And even though my natural way of dealing with things may make me seem like I hate you for pointing out my flaws, give it a day and I will have taken what you said into account and worked on it to improve myself, making me happier with the result in the end.

Keane, you've fallen into a regressing spiral. You're socially anxious because your afraid and ashamed of being socially anxious. It's feeding itself and making you miserable. I offer you no solution, but insight, so you may figure out your way to a happier existence yourself. You will have to take that journey by yourself, in the end, with or without external help. Because it's gonna come down to you and you alone. Good luck.

[Imco]

Now what really, really makes me completely mad:

As you might know, I'm a volunteer at the animal shelter on sundays. I work with the cats, clean their litter boxes, pet them, etc. Anyway, as a volunteer you get to hear all the different reasons why the cats came to the shelter in the first place and some of them just really, REALLY make me mad.
Today there was a new cat at the shelter. His owners brought him to the shelter because the cat didn't really like their dog. That's understandable, I guess, but here comes the idiot part. The owners recently bought the dog and he's still a puppy, they had it for like a week and when the cat didn't like him they decided THE CAT HAD TO GO! EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD HAD THAT CAT FOR MANY YEARS!

People really need to understand what this does to these animals! Most people just think, o I'll just bring it to the animal shelter and everything's fine. Well here's the thing. EVERYTHING'S NOT FINE!!!
I've seen cats depressed, cats that stopped eating, cats that died, all because they were brought back to the shelter.
I've even seen cases in which the owner got a cat from the animal shelter, so the cat was very happy, but then brought it back that same afternoon because the cat was so scared...
OFCOURSE IT'S SCARED!!! IT DOESN'T KNOW YOU, DOESN'T KNOW YOUR HOME...

So for all the people out there with animals, or considering to get one...
Please, please, please think about what you're doing. If you don't really really really want a pet, don't fucking get one.

Oh and for the rest, have a good day

[beebo44]

I agree Imco the amount of people who buy animals and expect it to be a cakewalk is astounding. So many people will buy baby animals and then realise how big they grow and give them away. Like seriously, did you not research the animal you're buying at all? I could go on as well but I guess Imco summed it up well enough.

[Shrooblord]

People think of other animals as tradable goods. It disgusts me to the point where I don't feel comfortable even talking about it. The whole mindset clashes with my view on life and it makes me sad, angry and ashamed that I see that the majority of people share that mindset. People treat living creatures like they would treat their vase - and then some people treat a piece of pottery better than a living, breathing soul. To be frank, it completely pisses me off.

[Dart]

Well, my mom just managed to make me more depressed than when I had my started vacation last week! So apearantly there is some Islamic stuff going on in France, and being the obsessed Jew she is, has ever so graciously told me today that I may not be going on my trip that Ive already half paid for at all! Well that's Just FUCKIN great! Being the person I am, being hung from. A rope without a definite yes and most-likely no is going to leave me depressed until I get an answer. I makes me want to quit the job I got to pay for the trip and spend the next to school years locked in my room not talking to anybody. I feel depressed, and I don't see a way out of it...

@ imco that's pretty messed-up, just goes to show how stupid some people can be.

[Serza5]

@Dart: If you paid for most of that trip then it'd be fair to tell her to fuck off about deciding whether you should go or not. Unless i'm mistaking this for a family trip you paid for as well? Either way it's not fair for her to tell her you can't do something which you spent your own money on.

[Dart]

It's a trip my school is doing, and I wound up needing to collect $28,000 dollars (I think) most of it is paid off and I won't get much of it back if I refund.

[rolesfamily]

It's really pissing me off that my eyes are becoming sore and a bit scratchy. Because I sometimes get a bit of eyestrain from the computer, now I don't know if it's eye strain or hayfever. I hope it's hayfever, but it pisses me off. TOUGHEN UP EYES GODDAMIT.

[Master]

Luckily for me, the weather today's been pretty tame, so the hay fever's been in good check.

[rolesfamily]

It's been pretty heavy for me the last few days. I seem to only complain about hayfever here LOL. That's a good thing though, I should count myself lucky as you could have something way worse. It's just a pain in the arse to exercise through hayfever because it buggers up your breathing. Although I did have a pretty good session today.

[Earth Gwee]

@Imco. I completely agree. I mean, I've had the idea of owning a bearded dragon for a long time, but I don't see it as just an accessory. I did a lot of research on these animals so that I can mentally and financially prepare myself for the experience of owning and properly taking care of my own animal. I still don't own one yet, but that's because I need to wait until I can support myself with a steady income and live in my own little place away from my family and without having to worry about going to school. The fact that people don't do research prior to owning a pet and then promptly give it away without a second thought is mind-boggling. It's like, what exactly were you expecting here? That it's just a cute little thing without its own needs and emotions of its own? That it can just be dropped if it does something you don't like? Seriously. If you're going to own a pet, know what you're getting yourself into before actually owning it!