Instead of preparing for my physics exam I'm actually watching this. Presenting: Tobbe's comments to most of the finalists:
Norway - My hard is yours. Back to the familiar last place for us.
Moldova - Bloody copycats! Violins is our thing!
Cyprus - He's gay. No doubt.
Belgium - That kid still lives in his parent's basement.
Bosnia - Wtf is this poprock wannabe metal shit?!
Serbia - What the fuck is that? Is it a man? Is it a woman? Who knows?!
Belarus - This gets my vote, just for the extravagant butterfly dresses the backup singers wore.
Ireland - Evil stepmother with a boring song. Ireland need to enter a drinking song every year, that's what they're good at. Or bring back Johnny Logan to the ESC.
Greece - There's no point trying to be manly when you're 1.60m tall and your country has had to beg the rest of Europe for money.
UK - Like the gay little dance this guy's doing. With the large number of homosexuals watching this that's probably not a bad strategy to earn votes.
Georgia - Button your shirts, guys! Now!
Turkey - Epilepsy alert!
Albania - Hmmm... what? Wasn't paying attention.
Iceland - Whoa! Fat lady! Should have been the last entry. Iceland can't win anyway, they can't afford to host next year's ESC!
Ukraine - OK looking girl. Boring song.
France - Allez, allez, allez! Wtf? And why do the producers focus on the GUY when they're doing the ass-shaking bit?
Romania - Nice piano.
Russia - Awesome bass guitar. And cool hat, keyboard player!
Armenia - Oh, hello, clevage!
Germany - Needs English lessons.
Portugal - Snappy comment not found. Boring song.
Israel - Uhhhhmmm... Bloody Jews!
Denmark - Every breath you take. Every move you... oh, wait! When these guys get home to Denmark they'll have an angry letter from Sting's lawyer in their mailbox.
Spain - Of course we managed to fuck up something, so they have to sing again.
Will be further updated.
