Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

[incognito]

As a matter of fact thus reminds me that guy who used to stick around, Jeffrey, now Princess Amber.

[gamerz31w]

Will Retro VGS video game console cause revival of canceled video games from past?

[Dart]

Damn, sorry to hear you feel that way. Seems like quite a few people here have some difficulties in establishing themselves. Good that you were able to write it here though. Would you say you could relate to Ad's feelings about his gender or have I read your doldrum in a too extreme way?

I've been thinking about that. Some days I just want to do girlish things and other days I wish I was born female. Also if I recall correctly Ad just wanted to be female, while I more so want to have the associated parts of being female like clothing and hobbies and am very split on my gender.

Edit: On plus side, I have made a bunch of dear friends both here and from school that I'm sure will stick by me no matter what I decide to do in the end, so I'm super thankful for that!

[Keane]

let's chat about existentialism m8s

I've sort of lost a clear focus on what the fuck I even wanna do or why to be honest. I don't want to drag myself into pessimism, but I feel like shit's really fucked and all of it just alienates me extremely in the process. I've talked about my social ineptness before and I don't wanna get into it too much, but it's still such a pressing thing that just keeps bouncing back and it's like this endless process of finding some sort of escapism to keep myself rolling: Getting intensely dedicated to a game, binge watching things all day, etc. Inevitably I start to pick up on what I'm doing, have one of my edgy depressed periods, and it repeats.

But seriously, I'm a lonely motherfucker and I can tell it really messes with me socially. It's just, I don't know how to really put it into words, but it's like a proper conversation never really happens and all I do is just push forward a certain personality to people that feels really superficial at times. I feel like all I do is just pretend to be more in my place then I am. And seriously, two years at this school and I still don't click with anyone. I just want some sort of open-ended escape from it, someone I can genuinely state my thoughts to and feel on the same level with, and not people who just give me attention out of pity - which I'm sure is intended well by all means, but if that's the response to my issue then I don't think you really get how it really is. I'm fucking tired of this shit endlessly being ridden off as "teenage angst" or "well if you tried harder then [ ]!", it's something that goes far beyond just bad friendship making skills.

But to throw things into a whole different topic, I'm just as dissatisfied with broader topics as well. The political system feels completely dead and unstable to me, and I fail to see why this isn't causing more anxiety to people. I don't know if anyone has been keeping up with the US presidential elections, but it's the most depressing shit to me. The corporate influences are getting aggressive and it's just becoming too pressing:

>Sanders gains notable popularity through debates, yet it's been recently pointed out that the lack of debates was decided by an open Clinton supporter, on a similar note the lack of coverage doesn't add up at all with Sanders' support
>The republican candidates + Clinton are in no way representing democracy but quite literally bought: Rubio actually admitted that lobbyists are paying him to stand up there and push the agenda of corporations
>Climate change is historically dangerous and the last republican debate didn't even mention it
>Even criticism against corporations has to be taken with a grain of salt because, for example, Clinton has permission to say those things as the corporations know they have her backing anyway and it's all bullshit
>Instead of the focus going towards what the wealthy are actually doing, massive fear-mongering about terrorism and immigrants is causing people to instead just fight among themselves and create the same sort of self-destruction that social justice is doing right now
>Meanwhile the TPP is still going, net neutrality is still under a threat, literal ideas of permitting censorship and limited freedom of speech being pushed

It makes me feel incredibly helpless, because it's unstoppable. Sanders' win is unlikely, and if Clinton or Trump makes it in it's another fear years of free tickets for the corps. Climate change needs to be addressed properly, and the people responsible for it need to be held accountable for their bullshit. We can't have presidents funded by banks and gas stations, any genuine feeling of democracy is really dead, and the worst part of it all is that it might need to be at the expense of Mexicans and Muslims to ensure that the US doesn't face this but continues to have news and politics abuse racial tensions for their profits. Again, just fucking helpless, because there's so much we should've already been doing in such a dying climate but most likely we're instead going to just keep fucking ourselves over until things seriously tank. I don't want to see so much to go to waste over the greed of corporations and the gullibility of the people who'll vote them - and it's even more depressing to think that if Sanders weren't running there would absolutely no choice but to give in. People are working longer hours for less, and no one has the ability to put a stop to it, and if you want to be like Sanders and do absolutely everything you can you'll get the full force against you.

TL;DR, I'm just feeling incredibly alienated and anxious and I don't know where I want to take myself in all of it. I'm upset with myself and my surroundings, edgy as it sounds. I want to just turn away from all of it and indulge myself in something else, but it's a false comfort that's more like closing the curtains to a tornado. But at this point I just don't know where to aim myself at, or how to come to terms with a lot of these things, and how to find genuine relief. And if I have to be honest, I dunno if anything will necessarily different five years from now, and there's a kind of disconnection from things that's been with me for so long now and growing so much larger every year that I don't trust myself with handling any of this properly. Or basically, I'm socially retarded and scared shitless about global warming.

Not that I'm like sitting here everyday feeling like a shithead or something, but ^^ is just something that's always sort of looming over me and I just needed to put it into words.

[gamerz31w]

why video game companies for games like Rayman 4,Half-Life 2 Episode 4,Jazz Jackrabbit,Crash Bandicoot,Nintendo(canceled games from mid-90's) and Rareware Games have copyrights protection patents for each 100 years?

[OCG]

Uh who cares really? That only means we get free fanmade games if someone makes them. Imagine if every fan was charging for his fangame and yet some were shit? Many people would be pissed.

[DandyGuy]

Existentialism tends to deal with individualism and freewill. Cowboy Bebop has some great examples of this. If you don't mind me asking are you still in Texas? As I recall you were from out of country.
>I still don't click with anyone
If you ARE still in Texas then I recommend leaving as soon as possible. I don't wont to go on a rant but living here has really been depressing for me too since I'm from out of state. What scares me the most is the Eternal Return. If the Universe does happen over and over again with infinite possibilities then there's one existences where I'm happier & never moved here, but on the same token there's one reality where I'm more miserable. I'm not sure if your similar with cyclical time but it's worth reading about. I talked about it with an anon over on Rayman9001 I'm not sure if it was you though.

I like Trump and ready for deportation. (Even though I'm a honky)

@gamerz31w It does not matter. Even if there were no copyright laws the games would still be unavailable since no one has leaked them.

[OCG]

Jazz Jackrabbit is actually leaked btw.

[Eren]

Will Retro VGS video game console cause revival of canceled video games from past?

No dude, from what I could see the Retro VGS (or Coleco Chameleon apparently) is a cartridge based console in which you can play old games

COLECO Chameleon is a versatile new video-game system that serves as a modern day take on the classic game console and will accurately play classic games from the past.

There are already a lot of Retro consoles like the Coleco Chameleon : the Hyperkin Retron, Retrodud, Retro Entertainment System and the list goes on and on.

EDIT: Or atleast, that's what I could understand, but it still doesn't mean that it will cause the revival of cancelled video games.

[gamerz31w]

Why pc emulator forget about hiSMS emulator for Android not for PC only.

[Xenon]

I've been having some acceptance issues recently. I'm not beating myself up about anything, but it can be frustrating when you don't feel particularly accepted among people with whom impressions and expectations are paramount. Yup, I'm on about the dreaded inlaws. Just makes you question everything really.

@ Keane: if there's one thing you shouldn't get upset about, it's politics! Go with the flow or you'll turn into a whiner and become a prisoner of your own mind

[gamerz31w]

One of my friends from jazz2online said to stop making my own game projects and don't do anything.

[Eren]

One of my friends from jazz2online said to stop making my own game projects and don't do anything.

Why that happened?

[DandyGuy]

One of my friends from jazz2online said to stop making my own game projects and don't do anything.

Why that happened?

This, Why that happened?

[gamerz31w]

I can't find Half-Life Decay PS2 rom with .iso extension not .cue and ,bin files.

[anaphasiia]

Or basically, I'm socially retarded and scared shitless about global warming.

You have a hundred times the social skill of gamerz.

[gamerz31w]

To many post-apocaliptic movies you watched.

[Dart]

I've been having some acceptance issues recently. I'm not beating myself up about anything, but it can be frustrating when you don't feel particularly accepted among people with whom impressions and expectations are paramount. Yup, I'm on about the dreaded inlaws. Just makes you question everything really.

@ Keane: if there's one thing you shouldn't get upset about, it's politics! Go with the flow or you'll turn into a whiner and become a prisoner of your own mind

I've never seen any relationships before that had difficult in-laws (except maybe my own folks when my step-brother married), so I can only imagine how bad that would feel.

[Itooh]

I'm having a weird writing experience.

I'm currently working on a character for a “kind-of-cross-media” project. I can't say much, but it's intended to take place on-line over a long span of time. And hopefully there will be some interaction between the character and the audience. It's more or less a role-play work!

Here is the matter: as I'm writing him, I begin to wonder if I'm creating this character in order to tell a story, or just to enjoy playing him. He's nothing like me, pretty stupid and obnoxious, but friendly (unlike most of my characters) and spontaneous. And the more I try to make him casual and credible, the more I become… jealous?
Do I have a story to tell with him? Or do I just want to pretend being a funny extroverted idiot? Do I really find his jokes funny, or am I using fiction as an excuse to make them? Is it good writing that I seek, or just attention?

I really don't know. I will continue to write for now, I'll see where this is going. And as always, it's hard to judge one's own work. Maybe I will have to make it pre-read before going live. But I'm beginning to fear that all of what I've exposed here will be obvious to anyone knowing me and reading a semi-fiction about a likable looser.

Time will tell if this story is entertaining people, or just a comfortable disguise for me to use.

[Hunchman801]

I've been having some acceptance issues recently. I'm not beating myself up about anything, but it can be frustrating when you don't feel particularly accepted among people with whom impressions and expectations are paramount. Yup, I'm on about the dreaded inlaws. Just makes you question everything really.

What's that they don't like about you?