Jokes topic

[Steo]

Haha

My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got bad enough, that I had to take his bike away.

[The Jonster]

8 p.m. I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football?!

11 p.m. I SMS my girlfriend: You of course.

[R4Y_ANC3L]

I Don't know if this count as a joke But...

Say "I joust forthead!" as Fast as you can. You'll realize what you are really saying...

[Steo]

What about "Whale oil beef hooked"

[R4Y_ANC3L]

Which Republic Town hates Kenny from South Park?

KilKenny

[Steo]

Ireland has a Kilkenny

What band hates washing machines?

Rage Against the Machine.

[The Jonster]

My socks got really holy. I can only wear them to church now.

[Steo]

I was out playing golf when I noticed one of my socks was OK but I got a hole in one.

[The Jonster]

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

[Steo]

I'm sorry about this, but my wife said it's either you or her... So where we going today?

[The Jonster]

You know you’re ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo. (Little black humor there... )

[Steo]

You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.

[The Jonster]

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

[R4Y_ANC3L]

What do you use to make bread and recharge the appliance at the same time.


BATTERy

[The Jonster]

I can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me. Do they really need to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than me?

Sorry if this sounds like I’m being heartless and cruel I found this one online it sounds terrible.

[Steo]

Why do people talk about broken windows and blue screens. I'll have you know I put someones window through just to see the blue screen and nothing happened, just a lot of screaming and shouting involving ringing the police or something.

[The Jonster]

I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

[Aaron]

Why did the man throw the butter out of the window?

He wanted to see the butterfly.

[The Jonster]

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk. (ok that was bad )

[PluMGMK]

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

Lads, I was about to post that one!
Seriously, anyone here into Gravity Falls? Feels like nobody is since Brad left… (Not that I've ever been properly into it either…)

What do you call a cow that appears to suck up all the grass from a field?
A hoove-r…