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Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 12:03 am
by Steo
Haha
My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got bad enough, that I had to take his bike away.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 12:12 am
by The Jonster
8 p.m. I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football?!
11 p.m. I SMS my girlfriend: You of course.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 1:20 am
by R4Y_ANC3L
I Don't know if this count as a joke But...
Say "I joust forthead!" as Fast as you can. You'll realize what you are really saying...
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 1:25 am
by Steo
What about "Whale oil beef hooked"
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 1:27 am
by R4Y_ANC3L
Which Republic Town hates Kenny from South Park?
KilKenny
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 1:31 am
by Steo
Ireland has a Kilkenny
What band hates washing machines?
Rage Against the Machine.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 1:52 am
by The Jonster
My socks got really holy. I can only wear them to church now.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:06 am
by Steo
I was out playing golf when I noticed one of my socks was OK but I got a hole in one.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:07 am
by The Jonster
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:15 am
by Steo
I'm sorry about this, but my wife said it's either you or her... So where we going today?
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:19 am
by The Jonster
You know you’re ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo. (Little black humor there...
)
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 3:04 am
by Steo
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 3:06 am
by The Jonster
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 3:41 am
by R4Y_ANC3L
What do you use to make bread and recharge the appliance at the same time.
BATTERy
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 3:48 am
by The Jonster
I can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me. Do they really need to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than me?
Sorry if this sounds like I’m being heartless and cruel I found this one online it sounds terrible.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 4:02 am
by Steo
Why do people talk about broken windows and blue screens. I'll have you know I put someones window through just to see the blue screen and nothing happened, just a lot of screaming and shouting involving ringing the police or something.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 4:09 am
by The Jonster
I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:07 am
by Aaron
Why did the man throw the butter out of the window?
He wanted to see the butterfly.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:36 am
by The Jonster
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk. (ok that was bad
)
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:47 pm
by PluMGMK
The Jonster wrote:My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Lads, I was about to post that one!
Seriously, anyone here into Gravity Falls? Feels like nobody is since Brad left… (Not that I've ever been properly into it either…)
What do you call a cow that appears to suck up all the grass from a field?
A hoove-r…