Jokes topic

[The Jonster]

A child’s observation: If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.

[Aaron]

I just thought this up:

Person A: Who's the world's most powerful boxer?

Person B: John Cena.

Person A: John Cena what?

[R4Y_ANC3L]

How does a rhino make fees?


It charges.

[Steo]

How does a car do security?

It petrols the area.

[R4Y_ANC3L]

How do sneezes make me sound like a pokémon?


PI-KACHOO!

[Steo]

Ever get those people who have no recollection over what they just said?

Ever get those people who have no recollection over what they just said?

Ever...

[The Jonster]

Ever get those people who have no recollection over what they just said?

Ever get those people who have no recollection over what they just said?

Ever...

Deja vu, bro!

[Steo]

You can call me whatever you like, but at the end of the day, it's nighttime.

That's bad

[The Jonster]

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Leaf!
Leaf who?
Leaf the house, you’re not the owner anymore!

[Steo]

I made this up too but again it's a bit stupid.

A guy tells his friend to boil the kettle, he hears lots of noises and says is everything OK. His friend says yeah everything's cool. A few minutes later he gets a burning smell and thinks, what on earth is he doing. He runs into the kitchen and finds a blast furnace and screams "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? I SAID BOIL THE KETTLE, NOT BOIL THE METAL."

[The Jonster]

I'm going to try a joke of my own then.

What's the best part of a dentist's appointment??

WHEN IT'S OVER!!

Sorry that was bad, I know....

[Steo]

What type of sitar tells you what to do?

A baby sitar

Yes again that's terrible I can't think of anything good

[The Jonster]

I’m standing outside. In other words, I’m outstanding.

[Steo]

Sometimes I walk down the street and get shot at... I usually get to restart from the last checkpoint or load the game so it's fine.

[The Jonster]

I’m not lazy. I’m just naturally a very relaxed person.

[Steo]

I heard people say Reese Witherspoon a few times, but I've never seen her with her spoon, what do they mean?

[The Jonster]

I've never heard of dipping a spoon into a Reeses' cup.

What is existence? Deja Vu?

[Steo]

I was going to be late until I managed to get more time. I got to work and my boss was really angry. I thought but I got more time and he didn't want to hear it. How dumb did I feel when I got back home and checked through the condiments, what the hell is thyme?

[The Jonster]

My mood is currently swinging between an axe and gasoline.

[Steo]

No wonder this bus isn't moving. Who's the eejit who hired a Callaway Golf Driver?