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Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:47 pm
by The Jonster
When I look at chocolate, I hear two voices in my head.
The first one says: “You need to eat that chocolate.”
The other voice goes: “You heard. Eat the chocolate.”
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:11 pm
by R4Y_ANC3L
Knock Knock..
Who's there?
Jimmy...
Jimmy who?...
Jimmy Back My Formula, Plankton!
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:22 pm
by The Jonster
Here's a bad joke
What sits up a tree and goes "Aaaaaah"?
An owl with a speech impediment.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:35 pm
by Steo
The Jonster...
Hahaha I'm kidding it just came to me there
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:49 pm
by The Jonster
Steo wrote:The Jonster...
Hahaha I'm kidding it just came to me there
Omg...
Wait for me honey, I’m just finishing my make-up.
You don’t need make-up, Jane.
Oh, Richard…. really? That is so sweet of you!
You need plastic surgery.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:58 pm
by Steo
The Jonster wrote:Omg...
I don't even know why I did that haha but you know I'm only joking
Tily
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:00 pm
by The Jonster
I'm glad I was used as a joke.
Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.
At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:20 pm
by Steo
The Jonster wrote:I'm glad I was used as a joke.
I feel bad now for doing that even though I was joking
Windows phones am I right?
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:23 pm
by The Jonster
Nooo stop that
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.
A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:25 pm
by Steo
The simpsons wrestling. (I'll start doing proper ones after this because this is dumb
)
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:27 pm
by The Jonster
Proper ones?!? You mean none of yours were real?!?!
Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:31 pm
by Steo
The Jonster wrote:Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.
Kevin Bloody Wilson
When I said back to the drawing board I didn't literally mean put your back up to the drawing board and erase all the hard work.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:17 pm
by The Jonster
So what's with the airline food?
Ok that was bad..
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:37 pm
by Steo
What's with these aeroplanes in the night sky like shooting stars? I could really use s wish right now.
I don't know why I even did that
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:31 pm
by R4Y_ANC3L
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:39 pm
by The Jonster
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:41 pm
by Steo
Give it 110% because I'm bad at maths.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:42 pm
by R4Y_ANC3L
Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school?
A: They required an orientation.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:51 pm
by The Jonster
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:53 pm
by R4Y_ANC3L
What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?
"The erection is rigged!"