Using Google translate to try speak another language
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:04 am
by The Jonster
Jesus can walk on water, correct?
(Yes)
Well, I can walk on cucumbers. As you may know, cucumbers are 98% water. So - I am 98% Jesus.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:06 am
by Steo
Jesus could walk on water?
Chuck Norris can swim though land.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:07 am
by The Jonster
After years of loneliness, I finally worked out a great dating strategy. I’ll pretend to be gay. I’m going to make tons of chick friends, really get them to trust me, tell me everything… and when they haven’t got an ounce of suspicion left – BOOOM!
I’ll get their boyfriends!
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:10 am
by Steo
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:13 am
by The Jonster
You’re really sucked up.
I ate you.
You’re a stupid grass mole.
Having an argument in the times of auto correct.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:16 am
by Steo
I get better and drink loads of beer. Hahahaha that's a good one right
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:18 am
by The Jonster
“Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?”
“I’m sorry sir but you’ll have to wait a little bit, they are currently all in use.”
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:20 am
by Steo
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!"
Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 4:21 am
by The Jonster
About 4,000 years ago:
God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Thu May 24, 2018 9:07 am
by Steo
Internet Explorer is good.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Thu May 24, 2018 3:08 pm
by The Jonster
Steo wrote:Internet Explorer is good.
......
Anyway here's a bad joke:
“I am a master of fast calculations.”
“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
“22!”
“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
“Might be, but it was fast!”
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 10:16 am
by Aaron
What do you call blueberries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 10:54 am
by The Jonster
Finally, the spring is here! I'm so thrilled I wet my plants.
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Thu May 31, 2018 2:29 pm
by R4Y_ANC3L
What Kind of blooming flower can Kiss?
Tulip(Two Lip)
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Thu May 31, 2018 2:55 pm
by The Jonster
Why did 7 8 9?
Because 1 2 3 makes more sense!
Yeah I made a bad one
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:54 pm
by R4Y_ANC3L
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:16 pm
by Aaron
Why didn't Microsoft make Windows 9?
Because they said nein!
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:19 pm
by The Jonster
Aaron wrote:Why didn't Microsoft make Windows 9?
Because they said nein!
And yet people also ask why the iPhone 9 doesn’t exist
Re: Jokes topic
Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:52 pm
by Steo
The Jonster wrote:
Aaron wrote:Why didn't Microsoft make Windows 9?
Because they said nein!
And yet people also ask why the iPhone 9 doesn’t exist
