Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

[Rayfist]

depressed

Lel.

Anyway, definitely try getting a summer job. You were looking for a job at Gamestop I believe, or perhaps the retro games store? Regardless, I think your personality would be awesome for that kind of thing. You're so damn likable in person.

Haha, what's with the lel? I know it sounds silly it's just been bothering me.
Also you really think so? Thanks a ton

But remember, I'm trying to get you to come over this summer, so trying to squeeze a job in there will be a bit tough as well, but we'll see. This may sound weird, but even though I talk to you often on skype I'm very quiet in real life, I never talk much, I'm quite a nervous person when it comes to that kind of stuff, but I may as well step my game up. Can't always be a Chris-chan now can we?

[neo]

The clear difference though is that "accepting the fact that seemingly random things completely destroy my mood" I don't think will help. If by some strange chance it does, it would be me accepting that I'm useless and I suck, and eventually maybe once it becomes my global mindset I'll be able to change my mind, eliminating it. I don't even know if that makes sense though.

Right, but why does one lazy eye, make you think that? It shouldn't. It doesn't make YOU any different at all. The only difference is that its a lazy eye. And that it makes you feel sad sometimes. That's all. And I'll tell you, you do not suck at all. I should know, I have talked to you. Don't let the discomfort make you doubt yourself.

I don't usually say anything really, not that I'm aware of. In my head I might be saying "agh fuckfuckfuck why the fuck is my head fucking doing this." or something along those lines. Other times I might think "What am I doing? How in the world am I, someone who's sitting inside doing Biology homework, supposed to become a successful game developer and animated film director?" I want to go to post-secondary for the experience of meeting all these new people who I could potentially work with in the future, but I often try to balance whether or not it's worth it to put in the effort of finishing this drag known as high school to get there. Everyone always tells me to get a degree because it's what's needed to succeed in the world today, but every time anyone says that, I want to beat them in the face with a fucking hammer. They imply that it's something to fall back on in the event that I don't succeed - what? Since when, in any point of time, have I been the kind of person to give up? I don't care what it takes really. If Revenge of the Dark fails and I need to live on the street for something as simple as getting a job in composition to be able to work up enough money to build a studio, then I would without question. Getting a degree for the purpose of having something to fall back on I find just dirty, despicable and completely immoral in every sense. I deem all those who have told me to get a degree for that purpose to get fucked, cunts. The only reason I'm going to post-secondary (the Art Institute) is so I can learn and explore.

I'll tell you one thing. Highschool for me sucked too. Did it do me any good? Fuck no. The degree, almost useless. I say almost, because it's needed for me to go to college, which I am doing. In fact I'll be getting my Associates of Arts degree this May. Then I'll be transferring to continue my studies to get a BA in Social Work, and then a Masters. Yet, did I have any good experiences in Highschool? Yes. Did I meet any good friends there? Yes. Did I learn some things from teachers? Yes, and I even met two of my most favorite teachers in my life ever. So I'm not totally salty about my highschool.

(I assume you need to continue going to highschool so you can go to post-secondary)

What do I say? Well, obviously it's worth it if you want to go to the Art Institute so you can learn and explore. You'll forget about the crap you had to go through in high school. (How many years do you have left?)

Yet, then again. Why stop now? You yourself said you are one who doesn't give up. You are just not doing it for the reason of 'back up'. Just remind the others that you are going through highschool for a different reason, not just for back up. Make it clear, and make it clear to yourself.

Example, if I cut my hair, I'm doing it for myself, so I could look spiffier and look good for the ladies. Not just to please my mother who is always asking me to cut my hair. Although, now she is asking again, and I'm not going to, because I want to grow my hair out, because I can. Why should I continue to cut it, if I can let it grow to see how cool it can be?

My ambition is what keeps me happy, yet even that is entirely overcome by these ridiculous moments I have.

I'm sure you can pull it together.

[Adsolution]

Right, but why does one lazy eye

Key, universal mistake number one. I've had people, even after I describe the condition to them, call it a lazy eye, and it's just ignorant. A lazy eye is an eye that sometimes wanders off from its central focus when the wearer is not actively focusing on something; it's a brain malfunction, that's all. This:



is not a lazy eye, it's permanently offset. It does not wander, and it moves when the other eye moves. But it is half blind, and while I can get the 3DS to work, I need to hold it about four or five feet from my face for it to even slightly resemble a 3D effect.

Sorry for being somewhat defensive about that, it just bothers me a lot. Anyway:

Right, but why does one lazy eye, make you think that? It shouldn't. It doesn't make YOU any different at all. The only difference is that its a lazy eye. And that it makes you feel sad sometimes. That's all. And I'll tell you, you do not suck at all. I should know, I have talked to you. Don't let the discomfort make you doubt yourself.

I'd said before that my eye wasn't the sole problem here though, the eye is one of the least of my worries. A lot of it I believe stems from my friend whom I mentioned earlier, as well as general other things throughout my upbringing. I don't believe that I am useless, that's what me in the negative state thinks.

I'll tell you one thing. Highschool for me sucked too. Did it do me any good? Fuck no. The degree, almost useless. I say almost, because it's needed for me to go to college, which I am doing. In fact I'll be getting my Associates of Arts degree this May. Then I'll be transferring to continue my studies to get a BA in Social Work, and then a Masters. Yet, did I have any good experiences in Highschool? Yes. Did I meet any good friends there? Yes. Did I learn some things from teachers? Yes, and I even met two of my most favorite teachers in my life ever. So I'm not totally salty about my highschool.

(I assume you need to continue going to highschool so you can go to post-secondary)

Indeed, and yes.

What do I say? Well, obviously it's worth it if you want to go to the Art Institute so you can learn and explore. You'll forget about the crap you had to go through in high school. (How many years do you have left?)

Just this one (I'm in grade twelve), however I have to plow through another year of extra courses in order to make it there, since currently I'm just completing the bare minimum amount of required courses for graduating.

Yet, then again. Why stop now? You yourself said you are one who doesn't give up. You are just not doing it for the reason of 'back up'. Just remind the others that you are going through highschool for a different reason, not just for back up. Make it clear, and make it clear to yourself.

Example, if I cut my hair, I'm doing it for myself, so I could look spiffier and look good for the ladies. Not just to please my mother who is always asking me to cut my hair. Although, now she is asking again, and I'm not going to, because I want to grow my hair out, because I can. Why should I continue to cut it, if I can let it grow to see how cool it can be?

There's no reason to stop now, and I don't plan to. Negative me however would care to disagree.

I'm sure you can pull it together.

Thanks, and I'm sure it'll happen at some point.

[spiraldoor]

Have you ever thought about getting an eyepatch?

[Adsolution]

I wore one for a year or two after the last operation actually (grade one and two), it was awful. I'd rather be able to see partially out of it than not at all.

[Rayfist]

You've worn an eyepatch before? You learn something new every day it seems.

[Haruka]

At least I heard there are eyepatches with cool decorations that can be weared simultaneously as fashion-accessories. I'll admit that even if I have got one eye that does not see as much well as the other one, I wouldn't feel confortable in wearing one.

[neo]

Rayfan I'll post later tonight but I just want to say one thing...

fucking allergies man. I can't ever enjoy the spring.

[Master]

Hay Fever?
I used to have it bad when I was younger, though in recent years, it's just mild sneezing and a runny nose.

[neo]

I think. Itchy eyes, red eyes, wake up with eyelashes sticky and have to wash it every damn time to get emm off, crying and tears really annoy my skin sometimes haha. Slightly runny nose but that's not the biggest gripe at the moment. As i'm typing my eyes are really watery. And I have to go to work soon, I will have to go to the bathroom quite a bit haha. (To clean my eyes)

And no medical insurance at the moment. >_> gah

[Adsolution]

Hahah, my allergies used to be like that, though they've gotten better over time. Now my eyes just itch a bit and my nose gets a little stuffy, but it's not hugely distracting.

[neo]

After showering it's a little better (and not being in my apartment). I'm going to clean my room and get rid of the damn bunk bed and just try to be as minimalistic as possible no matter how much my mother would want a bed in my room. I guess I'm not that good at keeping the dust off certain things, like the fan... I think my sleeping uh... eye cover thingy... got really dirty and really made my eyes itchy and I didn't even fucking realized. xD

[neo]

Key, universal mistake number one. I've had people, even after I describe the condition to them, call it a lazy eye, and it's just ignorant. A lazy eye is an eye that sometimes wanders off from its central focus when the wearer is not actively focusing on something; it's a brain malfunction, that's all. This:



is not a lazy eye, it's permanently offset. It does not wander, and it moves when the other eye moves. But it is half blind, and while I can get the 3DS to work, I need to hold it about four or five feet from my face for it to even slightly resemble a 3D effect. Sorry for being somewhat defensive about that, it just bothers me a lot. Anyway:

Ah ok. I'm sorry, that was ignorant and lazy of me. I didn't know what else to call it instead of going the long way. And don't worry, you were right to correct me. It's good that you do this, so people do understand the difference.

I'd said before that my eye wasn't the sole problem here though, the eye is one of the least of my worries. A lot of it I believe stems from my friend whom I mentioned earlier, as well as general other things throughout my upbringing. I don't believe that I am useless, that's what me in the negative state thinks.

Ah ok.

Just this one (I'm in grade twelve), however I have to plow through another year of extra courses in order to make it there, since currently I'm just completing the bare minimum amount of required courses for graduating.

Good luck with that then.

There's no reason to stop now, and I don't plan to. Negative me however would care to disagree.

Good. Then I hope you won't let your negative state get the better of you.

Thanks, and I'm sure it'll happen at some point.

You are welcome.

[Adsolution]

Thanks Kneeoh!

Haha, what's with the lel? I know it sounds silly it's just been bothering me.

Everything is relative! that is all.

[Rayfist]

Thanks Kneeoh!

Haha, what's with the lel? I know it sounds silly it's just been bothering me.

Everything is relative! that is all.

Sorry for the confusion, the 'lel' wasn't bothering me, as I use it a lot, I mean the other problem I was talking about.
edit: Also Ad, I read your previous posts, quite a big block of text there, I feel like a douche for ignoring it, even though I didn't see it before, I honestly am hoping things get much better for you! And I hope you can escape your nightmare, no matter what the cost. Would you like to skype this Friday or Weekend?

[Adsolution]

Hahah, definitely! I'm excited, it'll be a massive cheer-up. Thanks Rayfist!

[Rulez]

However Friday shall be spent covering Rhinestone Eyes with me, rite? ¢v¢

[Serza5]

Oh my am I here- yes I am but anyway.

I'm rather sick of seeing the word "Rape" being spewed around recently in conversations and "jokes" around here. Aye it could may well be boiled down to the fact that Tumblr force fed my brain into thinking it's bad but at the same time it is rather shitty to place it into a context which makes it sound as though it's not that big of a deal to begin with, whether you actually acknowledge it is or not. I mean yes it happens but that's a poor excuse to be so distasteful about the whole thing.

Bleeeeh to put it simply rape jokes only make you look like a douchebag, they're not funny. I respect the fact that people have different tastes of humour but i'm tired of seeing such "humour" about.

[Adsolution]

Well, given the right context, no joke is distasteful. There definitely is a such thing as overdoing a joke to the point where it seems like the teller is either insensitive and/or extremely uncreative, but every kind of joke has its fair share of laughs if executed correctly.

[Serza5]

That's the thing though; I've seen it done so many times out of context where it looks like the user (I.e. the person who made the joke) just added the word in to look "edgy". As I said it's probably just more the fact i'm tired of the word in general being used everywhere but mainly for that reason.