Jokes topic

[The Jonster]

I got a really cute dog and called him Threemiles. It sounds great to say I walk Threemiles twice a day.

[R4Y_ANC3L]

What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?


Decad-ant

[The Jonster]

This is definitely me...

If you start to think I talk too much, just tell me. We’ll talk about it.

[R4Y_ANC3L]

Q: What is the most erotic number?
A: 2110593!
Q: Why?
A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3.

[The Jonster]

I would really like to beef up my self-esteem a bit, but I don't deserve it.

[R4Y_ANC3L]

Girl: Hey! What's up?

Boy: If I tell you.. Will you sit on it?

[The Jonster]

I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.

[Aaron]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Deja vu.

Deja vu wh-

Knock knock.

[The Jonster]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Deja vu.

Deja vu wh-

Knock knock.

I literally just got deja vu from this, ironically. Anywho...

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”

[R4Y_ANC3L]

Why Don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?


Because they are all in HIGH school.

[Steo]

What does the worst boxing match ever and this terrible joke have in common?

They both have no punch line.

[The Jonster]

A patient sobs to his doctor: I feel like a pair of curtains!!

Doctor: Well pull yourself together man!!!

[Steo]

A woman says she can't stop thinking about Dick. A guy walks up and whispers something in her ear. She turns around and angrily screams: "You dirty little pervert! You just wait my husband Dick gets off work! He's gonna kick the living shit out of you!"

[The Jonster]

You and Plum might laugh at this.

Which country's capital is always growing.
Ireland's.

Every year it's Dublin.

[Steo]

You and Plum might laugh at this.

Which country's capital is always growing.
Ireland's.

Every year it's Dublin.

I'm an eejit hahaha. I didn't get it until I thought Dublin (doubling)

I have to admit that's a good one

Edit: I know it's from another source as I heard it before but forgot, it's going in my sig now though lol.

[The Jonster]

You and Plum might laugh at this.

Which country's capital is always growing.
Ireland's.

Every year it's Dublin.

I'm an eejit hahaha. I didn't get it until I thought Dublin (doubling)

I have to admit that's a good one

Edit: I know it's from another source as I heard it before but forgot, it's going in my sig now though lol.

You are correct about that!!
I noticed when I was looking through funny jokes.

[Aaron]

I made this up just now:

Why doesn't the claw machine work?

Because it doesn't make cents.

[The Jonster]

Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.

[Aaron]

What has 100 teeth and a monster under it?

A zipper.

[The Jonster]

If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?