Rayman Pirate-Community

Hey everybody! here's a fanfic i started writing on RZ. i decided i'll post it here too! hopefully someone might actually comment on it here (my thanks goes to Zay-El, Luckster and Limely who DID comment)
its interactive because at the end of each chapter there will be a question or competition. answer/win it and you'll get the next chapter early via pm.
here it goes...

Hi everyone. This is a Fanfic I’m starting to write. I had another one, but it wasn’t working out, and also nobody really told me what they thought. This one will have themes from that one, so if you read it and liked it, don’t worry, you will see the end of it. But please, everyone, it would really be appreciated if you gave me some feedback on this one. If you love, tell me you love it. If you think it’s about as worthwhile as the last thing you flushed down the toilet, then inform me of this terrible fact. Anyway, to make things a little more interesting, this is going to be an interactive Fanfic. At the end of each chapter there will be a question or two, and if you get it right, there might be an award of some sort. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it, and please give me your opinions. Here it goes
Interactive Fanfic – Items of Power

By Jesse Russell
CHAPTER 1 – Bedtime Story
“Ah, that is indeed a very interesting question, and it has a very long answer.
You see, there were once three great magical races: the Fairies, the Teensies and of course – the Magicians. They were the keepers of peace and harmony in these three continents. Their powers were great, and together, few evils could survive for very long.
However, each great race drew its powers from a certain source. Although they still had power without these sources, it was the powers from which they drew that made them truly spectacular. Usually, the source they drew from depended on where they resided – the teensies, mainly populating the paradise continent of the North known as Polasia, drew their power from the Heart of the World – a great power source consisting of 1000 yellow lums. The fairies, depending on where they lived, either drew their power from the Heart of the World, or in the case of the limbless fairies here in Noped -“
“Wait, you mean there are fairies that have limbs?”
“Why, yes, just about everything in the other two continents have limbs. We, the inhabitants of Noped are in fact unique in our limbless-ness. Anyway…
The limbless fairies drew their power from the Great Protoon and the Electoons. And the magicians, as they existed solely here in Noped, also drew their power from the Protoon. Oh, and it’s important to remember that the power sources not only provide the magical beings with power, but also keep order in their relative continents. But you see, there’s a problem with relying on these sources. If the Great Protoon or the Heart of the World were damaged in any way, not only would the magical ones lose most of their power, but everything else would become unstable, and the relative continent would be thrown into chaos.”
“Wow. All this stuff is amazing. But, what does all this have to do with my question?”
“Be patient, I’m getting to that. I warned you that this would be a long story. Now where was I?”
“If the Protoon thingy or the Heart was damaged there’d be chaos.”
“Ah, yes, now I remember.
The three races were aware of this problem. They were doing well at defending the world so far, but what if their power sources were taken away? So, they needed a solution. After years of searching and reading, they stumbled upon an ancient legend, one even more ancient than they themselves. It spoke of certain items of power. Thirteen powerful objects that could possibly provide a new energy source – a backup plan; they could be used as insurance, something to fall back on.
So, they decided that this was exactly what they needed. After a meeting between the heads of each race, it had been decided that thirteen of the greatest magicians would search for these items. They were not to try to bring them back – they were just required to confirm their existence and discover their locations.
One of the magicians sent on this quest was Niken. Niken was a protégée: although he had only been practicing his powers for two years, he was already the 11th most powerful magician in the world. Some of those he surpassed had been in training for decades, centuries even, and yet he was superior. And yet he was humble, modest. And although he was great, he still needed to earn the respect of the older magicians, so he thought this quest was his perfect opportunity.
But alas, it seemed he was wrong. After a decade, all the magicians had found what they’d been looking for and returned - except for Niken. The last time he was seen was during his entry into a great temple known as the Sanctuary of Death and Shadow. For another five years the others waited for his return, and just as they were about to give up on him and send someone else, he emerged from the sanctuary.
But he had emerged a different man. His eyes, once a bright, happy green and always filled with inspiration, were now a pair of soulless pits. They were completely yellow, pupil and all, and with but a glance you could tell he was no longer the kind, gentle man he once was. The rest of his face – in fact the rest of his body – now hideously scarred, was hidden completely by a pitch black coat. And on top of his head, a large black hat now rested, so that the only part of him visible was his aforementioned eyes. Indeed, he was a different man – no longer Niken, but something else, something evil. For not even he called himself Niken any longer. From that day, he was known and feared by a simple, but evil name: Mr. Dark.”
“Yes, this is all very interesting, but when will you answer my question?”
“Soon. Very soon. Just listen, I’m almost done.
Shortly after emerging, Niken, now Mr. Dark, did something that would change the course of history. Over the next year he slaughtered all the other the magicians. He hunted them individually, taking them out one by one, until only one magician remained.”
“But wouldn’t that be two? Him and –“
“No. Mr. Dark was a magician no longer. He was evil, and the magicians are not evil. Therefore he was no longer a magician.”
“Oh, I see. But how could he have slaughtered them all? I thought Niken was only the 11th best magician. What about the other ten? Wouldn’t they have beaten him?”
“Ah well, Mr. Dark was much more powerful than the original Niken. He drew his power from a new, evil source and he used his power to kill – something the other magicians did not usually practice. Anyway, after the massacre, there was only one true magician left. He went into hiding for a long time while Dark searched and searched. But the last magician was too clever, and eventually, Mr. Dark gave up and retreated to his lair – a fortress built in the candy chateau.
And so there was only one magician left in the world. And as you can see from here, that magician is me. I am the last magician. Not a magician, but the magician. And that is what I have called myself ever since: The Magician.”
The magician finished his story, and for a short time there was silence, which was then broken by the young boy.
“And…?”
“And what?”
“What about my question?”
“I have answered your question.”
“No you haven’t! What’s your real name?”
“ The Magician is my real name. I have no other name.”
“Well, what were you called before that?”
“That’s none of your business!” the magician snapped suddenly. Then, quickly calming himself down, he changed his angry tone to one of gentle care. “Now go to sleep, it’s a big day tomorrow.”
“O.K.” the young boy replied with a yawn. “But just one more question: how do you know Mr. Dark’s face is hideously scarred if it’s completely hidden?”
“Hmmm”. The magician thought for a second. “Maybe another time. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
End of Chapter
Question 1: who is listening to the magicians story?

oh yeah, please tell me what you think too.

Oh, I know the answer! But that would be cheating since I've already read this on RZ... x]
Anyways, it's good. :3

yes, it would be cheating. and it would be pointless anyway, seeing as the next chapter is on RZ already...as are the 2 after.

Yeah, haha, true. xD

I still like this. 83

it's great to see that the only ones who have commented so far are those who have already done so on RZ.
*sigh*...why do i bother?

It takes some time. :3 Dun' worry.

soon i'm gonna start donating tings to people who actually comment on it. but first i want to get more tings.

MASS UPDATE
i'm updating the next few chapters to bring the fanfic up to speed with RZ. questions will still be answerable, and as for the competition, users here (if any actually read it) will be competing against RZ users.

the next posts will be quoted from RZ so some out of story comments MAY not apply. (but some will, so read it anyway)

ok, this is the next chapter. luckester has already seen it and thinks its great, which is good to know. encouragement is much appreciate. however, feedback of any kind is important, so please tell me what you think.


CHAPTER 2 – Nightmares
Everything looks sinister in the shadows. Even a harmless turtle looks dark and dangerous when the rays of the sun are not there. Standing in the shadows was a familiar-looking limbless being. However, even as this being stepped out from the shadows, he looked just as sinister and evil, perhaps more so. This was not Rayman.
His hair was red and spiky and his complexion darker. His gloves were a dark grey instead of white and short but sharp claws stuck out the ends of his fingertips. His hood is a very dark blue, and unlike Rayman, this being actually wore it over his head, thus shadowing his face, and making it seem even eviler. The shirt he wore on his torso was pitch black and featured a red, spiked ring. And his shoes were deep blue with a purple rim and red lightning like patterns., and featured short but sharp spikes underneath.

Through his deep red eyes he viewed the landscape below the cliff on which he stood. Before him, was the Fairy Glade. Most people, if they saw this view would say it was beautiful, breathtaking. But not him. To him it was simply a place where the real Rayman could be.
He leaped over the cliff, appearing suicidal. But bear metres off the ground he revealed another similarity to Rayman, as his spiky red hair spun rapidly like the blades of a helicopter and allowed him to glide to safety. And as he landed on the bright green grass below, he did something out of character.
He smiled. It’s fun time.
He quickly powered up a large ball of black and red energy and launched it in the general direction of a group of fairies. In one mighty explosion, a large pillar collapsed and the fairies panicked and scattered. In this fashion, he set about collapsing rock formations, burning trees and houses, and causing fear amongst the fairies. All the while he laughed maniacally, but after about ten minutes of random destruction, he stopped for a few seconds. Time to concentrate.
He then began threatening and torturing random people and asking them: “Where is Rayman!” a little later, after yelling his question at a dying, bloody-faced fairy, a different voice replied: “here I am”. The evil Rayman turned to see another being much like himself but with many notable differences. And although he had never seen him before, he knew that this was his target: this was Rayman.
“Who are you, and what do you want?” asked Rayman. He was furious at this evil version of himself and the destruction he was causing.
The evil Rayman dropped the fairy to the ground. And while powering up a humongous ball of energy yelled: “I WANT YOU DEAD!”
Rayman rolled to the side to dodge the ball being hurled towards and quickly powered up and fired one of his own. The evil Rayman jumped above it and in mid-air commenced bombarding Rayman with a hail of small energy shots. Rayman ran from the balls being launched at him and they seemed to follow him as evil Rayman continued his barrage. Then, when Rayman reached a wall, he ducked under the evil volley and fired a quick shot towards his attacker.
The abomination howled as he is struck in the face and fell over backwards. As he stood up he saw Rayman running towards him. Quickly he powered up a blast behind his back and just as Rayman was upon him –
BANG!!!!!!
Rayman was struck at point blank range and was knocked off his feet and then back about ten or twenty metres and hit his head on a rocky wall. For a split second he saw nothing but black.
And after that: the evil Rayman standing over him.
And after that: only fire.
And after that: nothing.

Polokus awoke from his nightmare in a sweat. He was worried, for his dreams had created this world and everything in it, and it had been his nightmares that created many of the more sinister inhabitants. What if this Rayman-like abomination came to be? He looked down to see the four masks that once awoke him from his very deepest sleep. With this, he came up with a plan to stop the creation of evil by him.

Although not that night, Rayman had also woken in sweat the night before. For the past three weeks, he’d been having a nightmare over and over. Every night, it would be exactly the same, almost as though someone was using some sort of power to put this nightmare into his mind.
Surprisingly however, although it was becoming repetitive, Rayman actually enjoyed the nightmare, for his actual life had become boring. The world was safe from evil, but now he had nothing to do. His life had been completely unexciting since the defeat of the rabbids, and even that adventure, although rather amusing, was unexciting. Those things were far too stupid to ever pull off an invasion. If they hadn’t captured him, he probably wouldn’t have bothered with them, and his decision to infiltrate their base was mainly just for something to do.
But now he was totally bored. He missed the thrill of adventure – there’s nothing like almost being killed to make you feel alive (which is quite ironic actually). He needed something to fill the urge – to give him that rush of adrenaline. And the nightmares were the closest he could get. And so, that night he went to sleep, ready for some slight thrill, hoping it would be different to the twenty-one nights before it. However he didn’t have any nightmares that night. But Polokus did.
Shortly after, something happened in the Cave of Bad Dreams. The cave is where the creatures generated by Polokus’ nightmares are formed. The Guardian, Eig, is a terrible monster, whom most people think is there to stop people getting in. but they are wrong - he is there to stop things getting out. And inside the cave, a new creature was formed. But it was not one of the typical round, green, one eyed monsters that infest the cave. It was the evil abomination of Polokus’ most recent nightmare. It was Nightmare Rayman. And going through his mind were two words, inspired by the dream that created him:
Kill Rayman.
End of Chapter
Question 2: what is Polokus’ plan to stop the creation of more nightmare creatures?
Hint: it involves the masks. Also, for the purposes of the story, Polokus cannot kill or damage his own creations, so that’s not it. This concept also explains why Polokus could destroy the Robo-Pirates from outer space but not Mr. Dark or the Hoodlums (and he wouldn’t bother with the rabbids).

oh and remember PLEASE comment on what you think.

the next chapter has arrived! also, coming up will be a better drawing of nightmare rayman and also a map of Rayman's world i constructed through educated guesswork and other methods. but until then, here's the next chapter:

CHAPTER 3 – A Mysterious Voice
Many people have a little voice in the back of their head. For some, it’s merely their subconscious, indicating that something your doing isn’t right. Sometimes it can be the reverse of that – something telling you to go on, to pursue something that your morals make you reluctant to follow. And then of course there are those that are simply insane – a defect of the mind that results in the affected person being insulted or mislead by the voices they here. Some of these insane people claim that they are being told this by actual people. Although they are not believed, some are telling the truth…

Patience Andre, the time will come soon. however, the chief of the black lums was beginning to lose his patience. The voice in his head had been saying this for a while now. It kept telling him to wait – but for what? He was sick of waiting, but somehow, the voice kept him in his place, virtually controlling him, restricting him from taking action; but in a calm, reassuring way that made it sound trustworthy.
He looked through the eye holes of his blue Officer outfit at the privates and soldiers around him. Nearly all of them had impatient looks in their eyes which could only mean one thing: they too were growing tired of this. It was cold in the Hoodlum HQ, as it was situated in the Icy Mountains, near the top of the tallest mountain: a great peak known as the summit beyond the clouds. It was very cold indeed, and it was getting to them. Frostbitten wings was no way to keep up troop morale, but the voice assured him that heating the base (which was usually done by filling it with a boiling red acid) would alert the outside world to their activities.
So, Andre and his Hoodlum army waited. Soon, his army would be released upon the world once again. And once he found a decent power source, he would be able to reproduce infinitely, creating a never ending and therefore unstoppable force. Not even Rayman could oppose him then. Sure, he had in the past, but that was just as he had found his power. This time he would face the full might of the black lums. Now, he just had to wait…

Admiral Razorbeard stared through the cabin window of his new Prison Ship – the ”Bladed Avenger” at the world below. Somewhere down there was a creature. A creature of unimaginable skill and power. A being capable of easily defeating legions of troops.
A puny, limbless creature that somehow defeated him and his humongous army of Robo-Pirates.
It was Rayman. Last time Razorbeard had come to the planet, he had made great progress in either killing or enslaving the majority of the population until somehow, some little limbless man got past his forces and awoke the planets god who totally destroyed his legions.
What’s worse was that he practically did it alone – one against thousands – and won.
But the very worst part was that – Razorbeard knew – even though many more would have died, eventually, god or no god, Rayman would have won anyway.
Now, he had returned, his army bigger and better than ever. Not one, but five Prison Ships, and an accompanying fleet of warships that was hundreds strong. His army had multiplied tenfold, and his technology far more advanced. But still he had doubts. “What about Polokus?” he had questioned. But the voice assured him that would be taken care of. Now, he was just waiting for the order.
End of Chapter
Question 3: What gave me the idea for Mr. Dark’s “real” name, Niken?

Oh yeah, please remember to comment - tell me if you love it, or if you hate it, or at least that you're reading it.

EDIT: the next chapter is already finished, so you won't have long to wait.
EDIT - Correction: the next 2 chapters are already done, including the first real battle scene. YAY!!!

ok next update! i've already written chapter 7 and i'm inpatient so here's chapter...4.
the previous question is still available for answering, and will still be rewarded. and remember, comments are much appreciated.


CHAPTER 4 – The Distraction
Upon reflection, it didn’t look like anything at all. But in his boredom, Rayman was beginning to become desperate to find anything interesting. Often he would lay on the ground and look for shapes in the clouds, but today, not even that would suffice. Each cloud was just a random, boring blob of white. He thought that perhaps, if that cloud was over there, and that one was a bit closer, and then end bit wasn’t there and…but nothing. He sighed, and then said aloud: “if something doesn’t happen soon I’m going back to the Desert of the Knaaren.”
Currently he was lying on the beach near the Minisaurus Plains. He looked over to see a little motor boat near the pier. Once, the mosquito Bzzzit had used that boat to take Rayman to the Lost Island to retrieve the first Mask of Polokus from the Sanctuary of Water and Ice. After reminiscing about that past adventure, he sighed yet again. They were terrible times, but in their own way, better than this.
Finally, he decided the only thing to do was sleep. So he got himself comfortable, closed his eyes and started to relax. As he started to tire, he began to yawn and eventually, he got to sleep.
But no sooner than that, he found himself awoken by a loud buzzing in his ear. Annoyed, he opened his eyes to the end of a mosquito’s proboscis in his face. Startled, he jumped back a metre or so and prepared to strike, but before launching noticed who it was: not just a mosquito, but Mos Kito, a friend he had made during his first adventure. “Oh, it’s just you. What are you doing here?” Rayman asked.
Mos Kito lowered his hands from his face (which he had there in defense from Rayman’s possible attack) and after recovering from shock, he began to explain. “Back home there’s a bunch of guys running around wrecking havoc.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaand you want me to get rid of them?”
“well obviously.”
“YESSSSS!” Rayman shouted in excitement. Mos Kito, startled, looked at Rayman in confusion. He had no idea of Rayman’s horrible boredom, and how much he needed something to do. “So who are they anyway?” Rayman enquired.
“Well,” Mos Kito began, “we’re not quite sure. But we think they may be fanatics of Mr. Dark. But there’s a problem with that: Dark hasn’t been at large for years. Why would a group like this surface now?”
“Hmmm…” Rayman pondered this for a moment. He then decided he didn’t particularly care, he just wanted a piece of the action, and so (excitedly) asked: “so are we going or what?”
“What?” Mos Kito was startled further and still confused. “What’s the hurry? Oh well…” he then turned around and pointed his back to Rayman. “If you’re so eager, hurry up and jump on, I’ll fly you there.”
Rayman happily accepted this invitation and before long, they were speeding away from the Polasian coastline on their way to Rayman’s home continent of Noped. The wind was rushing into his face, pushing his hair behind is head so that it was waving around like a pair of thick yellow ribbons. His eyes were closed once again, not for sleep, but instead to increase the excitement, to really get his heart pumping and get some adrenaline through his limbless body. This was the life!

Meanwhile, in a makeshift fort in situated in a particularly isolated swamp in the Dream Forest, a cloaked man paced back and forth, awaiting the return of his troops. His aforementioned cloak was a long, black piece of attire that was topped with a high collar that encircled the back half of the wearer’s neck. Not that his neck was visible anyway – a black hood, much like those worn by the privates of the hoodlum’s (actually, it was one of those worn by the hoodlum’s only it had been dyed) covered his entire head, neck and part of his shoulders, and unlike his cloak, which was a sign of rank, the same style of hood was also worn by the other members of the clan.
Xulk was the Clan Commander of the “Walkers of the Dark Path”. The Walkers were a large gang of Mr. Dark fanatics who had dedicated their lives avenging their idol. Their Clan had been founded quite suddenly, or so it would seem to most. Many, many years after Dark’s defeat by Rayman (who they called “The Great Light”, which to them was a terrible insult) they came together out of the blue, carrying out some (much delayed) vengeance on the inhabitants of the continent. Not even Xulk really knew what had inspired him to form the Walkers – one day, he just woke up one day and really – really – felt like the time had come for revenge. He thought the idea was a message sent from Mr. Dark himself, and this is what he told the others, and so they followed him. He felt that his clan had a real part in Mr. Dark’s grand plan for returning.
As a sign of his commanding rank, he wore his cloak. He and everyone else in the clan believed it to be the cloak worn by Dark himself. Xulk found it on the ground in picture city on the morning of his inspiration and thought it had been left by Dark for him to find so he could prove that he had been sent by him. And although it was really just an old black cloak, the others believed him like he believed himself, and the Clan was formed, and he was their leader.
At the moment, Xulk paced up and down the throne room, which doubled as a shrine to Mr. Dark. A written history of Dark’s Legacy was recorded around the walls which concluded in a prophecy that he would return and become victorious. Various paintings and sculptures of Dark and his creations and minions littered the room, each worked to make the figure look mighty.
On the back wall were three large pictures. On the left was a portrait of Rayman, with a great beam of light shining on him. However, it was done so that Rayman not only looked evil, but also puny and cowardly. Even the rays of light somehow looked twisted and wrong. Whoever painted it was very passionate about both his cause and his art. On the right was another picture seemingly made by the same artist. It portrayed Mr. Dark holding the great protoon, and in contrast to the one of Rayman, it made him look great and all-powerful – a mighty god of darkness. Again, it was painted so that darkness and shadow looked like glorious things unlike how most people think of them. And the last picture – again probably from the same artist – lay in the centre of the two, and portrayed the almighty Mr. Dark standing over the bloody corpse of the puny, cowardly Rayman. This work was entitled “Future”.
Finally, in the centre of the room, in front of six pike poles bearing replicas of Rayman’s body parts, was a great throne. Xulk never actually sat in the throne. Instead, he sat in a smaller chair next to it, as the throne was reserved for Dark himself. But as Xulk awaited the return of the task force he sent to harass the villagers in the Blue Mountains, both seats were empty. He was becoming anxious – they should have been back by now. What was taking them so long?
Just then, the massive doors of the shrine began to open, revealing a figure just outside the doorway. Xulk stared in disbelief. “Oh my…” he began “it can’t be!”
End of Chapter
Question 4: Where does the name “Xulk” come from?
Remember, question 3 is still up for answering and a correct guess will still be rewarded.
Reminder:
Question 3: What gave me the idea for Mr. Dark’s “real” name, Niken?
and here's a new clue: note that Mr. Dark was very good at using powers and started out nice but eventually turned really evil. other people in stories have also done this.
anyway, remember, answer the questions to next chapter early! answer both and you'll get the next two chapters early! and as always, PLEASE tell me what you think.

thanks for the comments guys! (note: sarcasm).
next chapter time. Questions 3 and 4 are still able to be answered. there is no question 5 - instead there is a competition. anyway:

IMPORTANT: (In this Fanfic) there are three known continents. They are:
Noped: the limbless continent, the balance of the continent is sustained by the great protoon. Contains all levels from Rayman 1.
Polasia: The paradise continent that Polokus took special care in creating. The balance and power is sustained by the Heart of the World. Contains all levels from Rayman: Revolution, The Fairy Council (in the fairy glade), Clearleaf Forest and the Longest Shortcut (a teensie palace).
The Waste: the wasteland continent containing hostile environments. No central power source – only strength survives. Contains all remaining Rayman 3 levels (Bog of Murk, Knaaren Desert, Land of the Livid Dead, Summit beyond the clouds (in the icy mountains) Hoodlum HQ, Leptys tower) as well as the Great Desert (the desert levels and mines in RRR).
This should help the story make more sense.

CHAPTER 5– Into The Fray
Mos Kito landed on top of a large, blue, rocky pillar. They had been told by some locals that the gang had last been seeing leaving the Blue Mountains Village in the direction of The Dream Forest. And so, they had searched, and sure enough, they found them setting up camp in a small canyon about a day’s march from the village.
Rayman’s initial reaction was one of laughter. They were some of the silliest guys he had seen – to him, they looked like a cross between a hoodlum and a hunter. But Mos Kito had seen them before, and the havoc they had caused – although it was only due to sheer mass they were so scary. They were otherwise useless – a motley bunch of poorly armed, dim-witted fools.
“I think their HQ is somewhere in the Dream Forest” he informed Rayman, “they send out task forces such as this to harass villages, burn crops and otherwise be a pain in the rear. Be careful with them, they could easily overwhelm you. Anyway, I’m outta here.”
“What!” exclaimed Rayman. “Aren’t you going to help me?”
“Sorry Rayman, but my nest needs to be protected. They tried to burn it down last week, and I like my nest the way it is.”
“Oh, Ok. Bye then.” With that, Mos Kito flew off waving his hand goodbye. Then, Rayman turned his attention to the small army below. His want for a thrill made him consider jumping down there and taking them out, but his sense of reason made him reconsider – but he’d already jumped off. He landed on his feet, courtesy of his magical helicopter-hair, but he still made a loud enough noise to attract the attention of one of the sentries, who raised the alarm immediately, before taking out his blunderbuss and aiming at where Rayman…used to be.
The sentry suddenly became confused, as the intruder he had sighted had disappeared in the second he turned away to press the alarm button. He then announced to the troops he had awoken, and who had finally gotten up, gotten dressed and armed themselves, that the intruder had run away and he’s gotten them up for nothing. Annoyed and/or angry, the troops marched back into their tents, but not for long as the sentry’s viewing tower fell on top of one, killing its occupants and the sentry.
Suddenly the whole camp was up again and searching for Rayman. After a few minutes, their anger faded to fear, as they tried to imagine what could possibly avoid them so easily – killing one minute, disappearing the next.
“It’s a ghost! It has to be!”
“He must be some kind of monster!”
“We’re all gonna die!”
“GHOST!”
“It’s Mr. Dark! We’ve failed him!”
“Please forgive us master!”
“Whatever it is, it’ll kill us all!”
“SILENCE!!!”
And then there was silence, as everyone turned to face a figure standing in the middle of the camp. In their panic they hadn’t realized that dozens more corpses of their brethren now littered the camp – a path of dead bodies, crushed tents and fallen towers leading right up to the feet of a yellow-haired man in a purple shirt.
The survivors we’re shocked. Each and every one of them stared in disbelief, some no longer able to grip their guns, others even fainting. It was the Great Light – it was Rayman. “Looking for someone?” Rayman taunted them.
With this, most of them regained their senses and suddenly a hail of bullets was flying from all directions towards Rayman. But he was quick, jumping over the hail of fire so that many of them shot each other across the camp. Skillfully twisting around and moving his body parts, Rayman managed to evade a continued barrage of firepower, slowly knocking out those who weren’t shot by their own men. Eventually, only one of them remained standing, although it wasn’t long before he was kneeling.
“Please, spare me!” he pleaded, tears forming in his eyes. “I don’t want to die! I’ll do anything! ANYTHING!”
“Ok.” Rayman said simply. “I’ll spare you if you can tell me this: Where is your HQ”
The survivor sighed with relief. Pushing his hand into his pocket (a shirt pocket obviously) he pulled out a map of the Dream Forest, clearly indicating the location of ‘The Walkers of the Dark Path: Main Fortress’. “so, you will spare me?” he questioned desperately.
“I will spare you” Rayman replied. He then began to smile as he looked over to the canyon entrance, where an angry mob of surviving villagers, armed to the teeth with makeshift weapons, was entering the campsite. “But I doubt they will.” At that, he strolled of, as the mob began killing off those that had merely fainted or been knocked out.
End of Chapter
Competition 1: Razorbeard’s new army consists of 5 prison ships. His command ship is the “Bladed Avenger” . instead of a question, the reward will go to whoever thinks of the best name for the any of the other 4 ships. Note that this will slightly affect the story, as the ships will actually be named accordingly. So remember to post your ideas, as well as you’re comments!

Alright, that's it so far, although the next few chapters have already been written.

Competition entries on RZ so far:
Rayman4_121 -
Emperial Doomship
Metallic Speedblaster
Razorcruizer

Limely -
Swift Rapier
Wave Slicer
Rust-Cleaver

by the way, some visual aid:


ALSO: VERY IMPORTANT: due to a (so far) lack of comments, 20 tings will be rewarded to those who do. (and can prove they've read it eg. state a part they liked, etc.)I know it isn't much, but then i don't have much, and a simple comment isn't really so hard anyway. I REALLY want to know what people think. knowing people are actually reading it drives me to write more and opinions can help motivate me, or let me know what i need to change.
Limely, Luckster_Gal and Zay-El will be recieving tings shortly.

I really like Razorcruiser. xD

Well, it isn't neccesary to give me tings for comments though, I comment because I want to and think it's well written. :3

it works as both an incentive and a way of thanking people. in your case its obviously the latter.

Yah... oh well. xD Thank you, I suppose, hehe. :3

next update time.
questions 3 and 4 are still up for anwering as is the comp. so far, the winner looks like its gonna be Rayman4 with Razorcruizer. anyway, here it is...

CHAPTER 6 – Infiltration
A lone soldier wandered through the fortress doors of the “Walkers of the Dark Path”. Like the others, a big black hood sat on top of his head. Like the others, he carried a large blunderbuss in his hands. But unlike the others, he didn’t need it – it was just part of the disguise. If the others looked carefully enough, they would have seen the large bulge where the nose should be. Or perhaps if they peered through the eye-holes they’d have seen the strips of yellow hair coming over his eyes.
But rather than spending their funds on military equipment, medical advancement or hi-tech security, the Walkers instead bought the materials necessary to build sculptures and portraits of the one and only Mr. Dark. As such, there were no advanced cameras to pick up these anomalies – and they had no way of detecting that they had been infiltrated at all, let alone by their greatest enemy.
Wandering through the entrance hall of the fort, Rayman quickly gathered this for himself, judging by the grandness of the artworks and the general shoddiness of everything else. Many portraits of himself also littered the area, but they portrayed him as some sort of demonic but cowardly shrimp, bathing in a disgusting light. Shortly after shuddering at the sight of this, an actual walker approached in a worried looking manner.
“Where are the others?” he questioned. It was obvious he and the others had all been panicking.
“They suffered a fate rather similar to this”. Before the soldier could ask what was meant by this, Rayman punched him – hard – in the stomach causing him to drop to the ground in an instant. Unfortunately, another Walker that was previously unnoticed by Rayman witnessed the event and ran off and in a matter of seconds, he was back with a small squad of others. His cover already blown, Rayman quickly removed his disguise (which only obscured his vision anyway) and began dodging the volleys of shots that started flying towards him.
Due to the poorly designed nature of their weapons, it wasn’t long before his enemies started to run out of ammunition, and a few began to pull out an assortment of lead pipes, spiked cudgels and chains, and began to advance. However, they were advancing cautiously, and from what little could be seen of their faces, it was clear they were afraid.
A smile began to appear on Rayman’s face. They were afraid of him. This wasn’t going to be hard. So, he began powering up both his fists, ready to strike, which resulted in the even slower advance of his enemies. Finally, one of them, who had armed himself with a large pitchfork, charged towards Rayman screaming. But just as he was about to strike, a quick, pre-powered blow to the ribs silenced him instantaneously. But before he finally collapsed, a few more had finally decided to run forward.
The first was knocked out cold from a hit to the head, courtesy of Rayman’s powering up earlier on. The second was not disadvantaged by this and began swinging a large chain towards Rayman’s head. With no time to charge another fist, Rayman raised his head so that the chain went through where Rayman’s neck should have been and struck the one next to him, who was about to bring a lead pipe down onto Rayman’s skull. A quick volley of fireballs then reduced the chain-wielding survivor to an unconscious heap as well as continuing past him to injure a few more. It wasn’t long after that before the others were beaten up, burned or had otherwise been injured by their fellows.
After a quick “woohoo!” Rayman began running out of the hall and into a corridor. After a short walk, the corridor ended with another perpendicular hall than ran in two directions. Usually in this situation, one would be wondering which way to go, but he was distracted by the hordes of walkers that stretched to the very end of the hall in each direction and around the corner – a mass of hoods, makeshift weapons blunderbusses.

Meanwhile, in two completely different places, two completely different people heard the exact same thing at the exact same time: Now.

On sight, the entire formation yelled “ATTACK!” at the top of their lungs and began to run down the corridor. The front members of the left group threw some makeshift explosives towards their target. One exploded on impact when it hit the ground – intended to bounce, but instead just detonated several metres short, taking out another with it. A particularly bouncy one then flew right past Rayman and landed somewhere amongst the soldiers on the right. The explosion could not be seen behind the hordes of troops, but it was certainly heard, along with the screams of its victims.
It was then that he noticed two odd-looking bombs at his feet. On reflex, he kicked one of them back where it came from, having a similar but less drastic effect than the bouncy one. But just as he was about to kick the next, he realized that the fuse was just about to burn out. shutting his eyes tight he braced for impact and awaited death.
But it didn’t come. After hearing a low ‘poof’, he opened his eyes again and realized what had happened. It was a total dud. On the other hand, the twin hordes were almost upon him, so he quickly ran – backwards – down the corridor. But once he turned around, he discovered a predicament. Seemingly out of nowhere, another large force now occupied the entrance hall. After looking carefully, it became clear they had come up through some sort of trapdoor. So they did have strategy after all…
The Walkers from the trapdoor then yelled “ATTACK”, almost religiously, along with a second scream from the force behind Rayman. Now completely surrounded and confined to a small corridor, he feared for the worst. Nevertheless, he prepared for battle and began charging his accumulation fireball attack. However, he knew that it would never fend off two unending forces of the Walkers, no matter how poorly armed (one had a plastic fork!) they were. He launched his massive ball of energy towards the nearest crowd, the ones from the hall, where it exploded taking out almost ten of them. But it was no good. He was about to give up hope when he heard a much less disciplined yell:
“ATTACK!”
Surprised, both forces stopped temporarily and the hall occupants turned around to face the door. At that moment, a totally different force appeared with their own makeshift weapons, and began butchering and clubbing the front ranks of Walkers. It was the Blue Mountains villagers along with many more enraged locals. This was all Rayman needed to get him going again. He began firing balls in every direction, taking out many an enemy. He could have done this before, but if not for his reinforcements from outside, the Walkers would have gained on him faster than he took them out.
Fortunately, that little army had arrived. The corridor force was not slowed by them however which forced Rayman out into the hall, but now he had the upper hand. Slowly, the enemy force began to diminish, until the only ones remaining were Rayman and the Walkers’ old, vengeful victims. After thanking them for the help, Rayman began to run through the maze off corridors and rooms that represented the Walkers’ fort.
On the way, he encountered a few surviving guards, but they were defeated with ease. Finally, Rayman found himself before a pair of humongous doors. After destroying the outer lock, he pushed the doors, and they began to open slowly, until finally they revealed the large room behind.
“Oh my…it can’t be!”
End of Chapter
Question 5: Who received the order?
Reminders:
Question 4: Where does the name “Xulk” come from? Hint: someone in real life wears a hood of a pure colour.
Question 3: What gave me the idea for Mr. Dark’s “real” name, Niken?
and here's a new clue: note that Mr. Dark was very good at using powers and started out nice but eventually turned really evil. other people in stories have also done this.

Answer answer any question and get the reward it entails! and there's still that comp to win.
but more importantly: tell me what you think.
alright, bye!

next update time.
questions 3 and 4 are still up for anwering as is the comp. so far, the winner looks like its gonna be Rayman4 with Razorcruizer. anyway, here it is...

CHAPTER 6 – Infiltration
A lone soldier wandered through the fortress doors of the “Walkers of the Dark Path”. Like the others, a big black hood sat on top of his head. Like the others, he carried a large blunderbuss in his hands. But unlike the others, he didn’t need it – it was just part of the disguise. If the others looked carefully enough, they would have seen the large bulge where the nose should be. Or perhaps if they peered through the eye-holes they’d have seen the strips of yellow hair coming over his eyes.
But rather than spending their funds on military equipment, medical advancement or hi-tech security, the Walkers instead bought the materials necessary to build sculptures and portraits of the one and only Mr. Dark. As such, there were no advanced cameras to pick up these anomalies – and they had no way of detecting that they had been infiltrated at all, let alone by their greatest enemy.
Wandering through the entrance hall of the fort, Rayman quickly gathered this for himself, judging by the grandness of the artworks and the general shoddiness of everything else. Many portraits of himself also littered the area, but they portrayed him as some sort of demonic but cowardly shrimp, bathing in a disgusting light. Shortly after shuddering at the sight of this, an actual walker approached in a worried looking manner.
“Where are the others?” he questioned. It was obvious he and the others had all been panicking.
“They suffered a fate rather similar to this”. Before the soldier could ask what was meant by this, Rayman punched him – hard – in the stomach causing him to drop to the ground in an instant. Unfortunately, another Walker that was previously unnoticed by Rayman witnessed the event and ran off and in a matter of seconds, he was back with a small squad of others. His cover already blown, Rayman quickly removed his disguise (which only obscured his vision anyway) and began dodging the volleys of shots that started flying towards him.
Due to the poorly designed nature of their weapons, it wasn’t long before his enemies started to run out of ammunition, and a few began to pull out an assortment of lead pipes, spiked cudgels and chains, and began to advance. However, they were advancing cautiously, and from what little could be seen of their faces, it was clear they were afraid.
A smile began to appear on Rayman’s face. They were afraid of him. This wasn’t going to be hard. So, he began powering up both his fists, ready to strike, which resulted in the even slower advance of his enemies. Finally, one of them, who had armed himself with a large pitchfork, charged towards Rayman screaming. But just as he was about to strike, a quick, pre-powered blow to the ribs silenced him instantaneously. But before he finally collapsed, a few more had finally decided to run forward.
The first was knocked out cold from a hit to the head, courtesy of Rayman’s powering up earlier on. The second was not disadvantaged by this and began swinging a large chain towards Rayman’s head. With no time to charge another fist, Rayman raised his head so that the chain went through where Rayman’s neck should have been and struck the one next to him, who was about to bring a lead pipe down onto Rayman’s skull. A quick volley of fireballs then reduced the chain-wielding survivor to an unconscious heap as well as continuing past him to injure a few more. It wasn’t long after that before the others were beaten up, burned or had otherwise been injured by their fellows.
After a quick “woohoo!” Rayman began running out of the hall and into a corridor. After a short walk, the corridor ended with another perpendicular hall than ran in two directions. Usually in this situation, one would be wondering which way to go, but he was distracted by the hordes of walkers that stretched to the very end of the hall in each direction and around the corner – a mass of hoods, makeshift weapons blunderbusses.

Meanwhile, in two completely different places, two completely different people heard the exact same thing at the exact same time: Now.

On sight, the entire formation yelled “ATTACK!” at the top of their lungs and began to run down the corridor. The front members of the left group threw some makeshift explosives towards their target. One exploded on impact when it hit the ground – intended to bounce, but instead just detonated several metres short, taking out another with it. A particularly bouncy one then flew right past Rayman and landed somewhere amongst the soldiers on the right. The explosion could not be seen behind the hordes of troops, but it was certainly heard, along with the screams of its victims.
It was then that he noticed two odd-looking bombs at his feet. On reflex, he kicked one of them back where it came from, having a similar but less drastic effect than the bouncy one. But just as he was about to kick the next, he realized that the fuse was just about to burn out. shutting his eyes tight he braced for impact and awaited death.
But it didn’t come. After hearing a low ‘poof’, he opened his eyes again and realized what had happened. It was a total dud. On the other hand, the twin hordes were almost upon him, so he quickly ran – backwards – down the corridor. But once he turned around, he discovered a predicament. Seemingly out of nowhere, another large force now occupied the entrance hall. After looking carefully, it became clear they had come up through some sort of trapdoor. So they did have strategy after all…
The Walkers from the trapdoor then yelled “ATTACK”, almost religiously, along with a second scream from the force behind Rayman. Now completely surrounded and confined to a small corridor, he feared for the worst. Nevertheless, he prepared for battle and began charging his accumulation fireball attack. However, he knew that it would never fend off two unending forces of the Walkers, no matter how poorly armed (one had a plastic fork!) they were. He launched his massive ball of energy towards the nearest crowd, the ones from the hall, where it exploded taking out almost ten of them. But it was no good. He was about to give up hope when he heard a much less disciplined yell:
“ATTACK!”
Surprised, both forces stopped temporarily and the hall occupants turned around to face the door. At that moment, a totally different force appeared with their own makeshift weapons, and began butchering and clubbing the front ranks of Walkers. It was the Blue Mountains villagers along with many more enraged locals. This was all Rayman needed to get him going again. He began firing balls in every direction, taking out many an enemy. He could have done this before, but if not for his reinforcements from outside, the Walkers would have gained on him faster than he took them out.
Fortunately, that little army had arrived. The corridor force was not slowed by them however which forced Rayman out into the hall, but now he had the upper hand. Slowly, the enemy force began to diminish, until the only ones remaining were Rayman and the Walkers’ old, vengeful victims. After thanking them for the help, Rayman began to run through the maze off corridors and rooms that represented the Walkers’ fort.
On the way, he encountered a few surviving guards, but they were defeated with ease. Finally, Rayman found himself before a pair of humongous doors. After destroying the outer lock, he pushed the doors, and they began to open slowly, until finally they revealed the large room behind.
“Oh my…it can’t be!”
End of Chapter
Question 5: Who received the order?
Reminders:
Question 4: Where does the name “Xulk” come from? Hint: someone in real life wears a hood of a pure colour.
Question 3: What gave me the idea for Mr. Dark’s “real” name, Niken?
and here's a new clue: note that Mr. Dark was very good at using powers and started out nice but eventually turned really evil. other people in stories have also done this.

Answer answer any question and get the reward it entails! and there's still that comp to win.
but more importantly: tell me what you think.
alright, bye!

I think you posted chapter 6 twice.

Anyways, this is a really exciting chapter. Now I'm excited to see what Rayman finds in the large room! *spazz*

oh yeah. whoops.the computer was going really slow and things were going wierd. i'd fix it, but i can't seem to find a way to delete it.