Rayman Pirate-Community

As you probably know, your most-loved moderator, me, has been conscripted, and is now serving one year in the Norwegian army for the garrison stationed at the 196 kilometer long Norwegian-Russian Border. Here, I'm training to become a border hunter, patrolling the border making sure nobody crosses it illegaly. Life in the military is quite different from civilian life, so to give you some insight into it, I've decided to start this blog-like topic where I'll give you updates on how my training is going, and show you how things are done here.

I'm not gonna post a big update now, because I'm going away on a field exercise tomorrow, and I need all the sleep I can get. I'll be back thursday evening, and I'll probably post something next weekend. In the meantime, use this topic to ask me questions about my life here and the army in general. That way I can get all the "Mickey Mouse questions" ('are you worried that the Russians will invade and kill you?' etc.) out of the way right away.

Fire away!

Are you worried Matyuv will invade and kill you?
Nah, seriously - I'm guessing life as a soldier is pretty intense, so did you get any preparation before being conscripted? Or were you just thrown into the thick of it?

What time do you get up at?
How does a typical day go?
Have you driven any cool vehicles? Fired from a bazooka? lol
Who won the Russia - Norway football match?
Do you communicate with the Russian soldiers?
How many push-ups can you do now?
How's the food?

to be continued.

Matyuv wrote:Have you driven any cool vehicles? Fired from a bazooka? lol

Oh Matyuv

Great topic!
Do you have to do night shifts?
If so, do you get funky goggles?
If you see someone (eg. Matyuv) what do you do?

That's all my questions for now

Okay. In this first update I will just answer your questions. More interesting stuff will come later.

did you get any preparation before being conscripted? Or were you just thrown into the thick of it?

I have known for over a year that I would be conscripted this July, so I had plenty of time to prepare. Didn't use it too well, though.

What time do you get up at?
How does a typical day go?

We get up at 6 AM, when a member of the staff comes running through the halls of the barracks with a boomblaster playing 'Riverside'. Nice way to get up, isn't it! We then spend the next 45 minutes getting dressed and cleaning the room. The room has to be almost as clean as an operating room to pass inspection, so it's no small task! We then eat breakfast between 6.45 and 7.15 before we go upstairs to clean some more before inspection at 7.30. The rest of the day we have lessons (shooting, battlefield medicine, radio communication, gym etc.). Lunch is served at 11.45 and dinner at 16.45. After dinner we ususally have the rest of the day off, but during the first few weeks there is a lot to be done, so there's often some service after dinner as well. In the evening I usually chill in my room with my laptop, train or play PlayStation, ping pong or pool.

Have you driven any cool vehicles? Fired from a bazooka? lol

No, not yet. But eventually we'll get to drive snowmobiles and ATVs on border patrol. If I get stationed at a border station near the river, I'll get to drive an awesome patrol boat as well! We don't get to use bazookas or any fancy weapons at all. All of us have been given HK-416 rifles, which are all brand new since the Norwegian Army only recently started replacing the old AG-3 rifles. I think I have described what using it is like before.

Who won the Russia - Norway football match?

We won 5-1!

Do you communicate with the Russian soldiers?

No. Not at all. The people higher up in the system are frequently in contact with the Russian brass, though. Our two countries are on very good terms.

How many push-ups can you do now?

I could do 23 shoulder-wide-breast-touching-floor push-ups when I first got here. Now I can do 38. A significant progression, I'd say.

How's the food?

Surprisingly good. I wasn't expecting much, but the GSV is a prioritised part of the Norwegian Army, so I guess we have the best food in the military.

Do you have to do night shifts?

Only when we're away on field exercises, in which case the squad always has a guard post outside the base. Someone has to watch the base at night so someone has to do night shifts. Fortunately, we're not out on field exercises often.

If so, do you get funky goggles?

Yes! They're uber-awesome!

If you see someone (eg. Matyuv) what do you do?

I have no idea what we do, exactly. I'm not actually out patrolling the border yet. I have six months of training to do at a camp some miles from the border before I get to become a Border Hunter. When we're out on the border, we'll try and stop people from entering Russia from Norway, and we'll arrest anyone who manages to get into Norway from Russia (which hasn't happened since 2004), that's about as much as I know.

More updates will come. Don't expect any big updates, though. It's much easier for me to give you small drips of information more frequently rather than to dump an enourmous essay about military everyday life into your laps. I think that's easier for you too.

You have pool tables there? Holy shit. How many people live in each room?

Also, you knew you'd be in GSV from the start? So it's up to the recruit which part of the army to join in Norway right?

Keep the updates coming, this is orsum.

Hmm, sounds much better than I'd feared. Regimented, but in a good way. Please keep it coming!
Damn, I'm out of questions. Probably they're so obvious I can't think of them.
Why is the Russian-Norway border the most important thing for the Norwegian Army? I understand that it's important, but why so high on the priority list? I suppose coming from the UK, we've got quite a few overseas campaigns going (though hopefully they'll pull out soon) so border patrol seems like second nature, not a target for spending.

Sounds like you're not living a bad life though, man.

As for a question, what's the scenery like?

Did you chose to become a border hunter or not?

[joke]If Matyuv would try to sneak into Norway, would you help him? [/joke]

You have pool tables there? Holy shit. How many people live in each room?

Yeah. 50 metres outside the camp there's a building called the 'Welfare Center', which is open to all soldiers. They have PS3s, projectors, ping pong- and pool tables and lots of other stuff to keep us entertained during our spare time (they also serve burgers ). And to answer your second question: Eight people live in each room.

Also, you knew you'd be in GSV from the start? So it's up to the recruit which part of the army to join in Norway right?

Yeah. The year we become 17, all boys are called in to something called 'session', where we are given a physical exam, and they test our IQ, sight and hearing. We are then subjected to an interview, where we get to choose which branch of the armed forces we would like to join. In the end, it's the military who makes the choice for you, but most people get what they want. I got a letter a few weeks after session that said I would be called in to GSV in July 2010.

Why is the Russian-Norway border the most important thing for the Norwegian Army? I understand that it's important, but why so high on the priority list?

The Norwegian Army doesn't do much, tbh. We have some soldiers in Afghanistan, but not anywhere near as many as the US or UK. Apart from the soldiers engaged in Afganistan, there are two prioritised sections in the Norwegian Army; the Garrison in South Varanger (GSV, where I am), and His Majesty The King's Guard. Believe it our not, but the Army hasn't got anything better to do (thankfully!). You must also remember that the Norwegian-Russian border is part of the border of the Schengen Area. So it's extremely important that people don't cross it illegaly (because once they're inside they can move freely throughout the entire Schengen Area).

As for a question, what's the scenery like?

It's beatiful. At least if you like mountains, fjords, woods and marshes.

Did you chose to become a border hunter or not?

Most of the people who are here become Border Hunters after six months. Some, however, are transferred to other positions inside the camp (the Garrison Company) after six weeks, and they stay there for the rest of the year. Most people who are transferred to the Garrison Company do so because they want to, but some people are forced there because they are better suited for positions in the camp, our because they don't meet the physical demands required to become Border Hunters.

If Matyuv would try to sneak into Norway, would you help him?

If Matyuv wanted to get into Norway, he wouldn't have any problems doing so legally.

More to follow. Possibly tomorrow. Probably later.

Interesting stuff to know.

Quite frankly, I'm glad you opened up this topic, because it gives a different sort of view point than someone in the US would typically be given on your country. lol

Yes, but you must remember that the Norwegian Army is quite different from the US Army, which is a professional army. The Norwegian Army consists almost entirely of conscripted soldiers who serve here for one year (or two years if you're a Non-Commissioned Officer).

EDIT: Oh, sorry, I don't think that's what you meant. Oh, well.

A Rather Unpleasant Morning

For some reason, the Norwegian Army thinks it's a good idea to gas all new recruits with CS gas, more commonly known as tear gas. According to Wikipedia the only other armies who do this to their soldiers are the American, Canadian and Australian ones. I've posted the structural formula below. Anyone who took chemistry in high school will instantly recognise the nasty chlorine and cyanide groups!



So last monday morning half the platoon marched out to one of the camp's many shooting ranges where the gas hut was located. We then put on our gas masks and were divided into groups of six. Once incide the gas hut, the Sergeants lighted up a tablet of CS and told us to remove our gas masks and breathe in the gas. The effect of the gas was extremely unpleasant. CS gas irritates the mucous membranes, and it causes a burning sensation in the eyes and throat. Mucus production is also increased, so all sorts of nasty stuff starts flowing freely from the nose and mouth. It's like rubbing raw chili into your eyes and then eating it. Not comfortable at all!

While our gas masks were off, the Sergeant started asking us questions and giving us various tasks to perform. I was asked to sing the national anthem of Norway, and I'm proud to say that I managed to complete the task in style. I was then allowed to leave the hut and step out into the fresh air, where the effects of the gas wore off after about 30 seconds. A lot of people couldn't handle the gas at all, and ran out of the hut as soon as they removed their masks. I lasted longer than most people, I'm pleased to say.

Sounds like a horrible experience. What was the point in that exercise?

Poor Tobbe...

I guess it's mostly to test your resistance.

Xenon wrote:Sounds like a horrible experience. What was the point in that exercise?

Maybe in case the gas masks would be too far away during a gas attack or something like that.

Awesome topic, Tobbe! I have one very important question: do you get furloughs or you don't get to see a girl during one year? o_Ò

Of course I get to see girls. For starters, two of the soldiers in my platoon are girls (they're hot too), and there are a lot of other female soldiers in the camp as well (including two smoking hot Sergeants!). We also (usually) have weekends off, when we're allowed to leave camp for the local town, Kirkenes, to party. In addition to that, we also get to go home for Christmas, and one 10-day period each month.

Tobbe wrote: two of the soldiers in my platoon are girls (they're hot too), and there are a lot of other female soldiers in the camp as well (including two smoking hot Sergeants!).

The action movies didn't lie to me (for once)!