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Funny Expressions!
Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:12 pm
by Shrooblord
Why, heya, RPC!
All the frequent members of this forum surely must know the
Funny Pics and
Funny Vids topics. And now it's also time for the written funny: funny expressions!
So post here any funny, whimsical, mischievous, cheeky or outright hilarious jokes, expressions or quotes you know of. I think this thread will also be a neat addition to this year's non-spam post-fest coming up in July.
I'll just start off with a cheeky and rude, yet funny joke I heard from the funniest Irishman in town:
Why fart and waste it,
If you can burp and taste it?
And my favourite (what is presumed to be a) quote from Einstein:
Marilyn Monroe: Oh, imagine how amazing it would be if we would have kids. With your brains and my looks, we would have the most fantastic children.
Albert Einstein: Yes, but imagine how all the more horrifying it would be if it were the other way around!
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2012 8:26 pm
by Shrooblord
Is it not catching on? I'll just add another set of quotes myself then.
Blackadder: As cunning as a fox who has just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University.
The Doctor: Oh, you're not, are you...? Tell me you're not archaeologists.
River Song: Got a problem with archaeologists?
The Doctor: I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.
River Song: Ah! Professor River Song. Archaeologist.
And my favourite quote from any book, ever:
(From
HHGTTG, on
Vogons)
Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry at you.
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 3:26 am
by Adsolution
There goes this thread.
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:09 pm
by Shrooblord
Yeah, it's kind of sad really. I was expecting people to come up with all kinds of funny one-liners or nice quotes from books. Whatever. I'll just continue the trend here:
(The Fellowship of the Ring):
Frodo: Go back, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone.
Sam: Of course you are. And I'm coming with you.
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:10 pm
by Rulez
That was in The Hobbit? You sure?
Maybe my mind is just acting up on me.
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:24 pm
by Shrooblord
Duhhh... Hobbit. Sorry, Fellowship of the Ring (part 1 of Lord of the Rings).
Anyone up for quotes?
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:28 pm
by Rulez
LOL I was right all along
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:39 pm
by Decidetto
I would love to add a bit to this, but I'm running a bit low on wittiness right now.
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 12:06 am
by Shrooblord
I've got some funny epitaphs for you:
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
H. G. Wells (Writer of War of the Worlds)
I told you so, you damned fools.
Unknown source
While living men my tomb do view
Remember well
There's room for you
R. Andersen (Nerdy humour there)
Connection reset
by peer
He came, he saw, he logged out
Of course, respects to those to whom these stones belong, but laughing and joking about them ain't wrong.
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 12:34 am
by Decidetto
The one from the unknown source is really quite... how to put it. Deep, I guess?
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 12:29 am
by Shrooblord
Einstein: If you don't know how to explain it simply, you don't know it well enough.
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:08 am
by Decidetto
Verrrrry true.
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:27 am
by Shrooblord
Fired up my DSi and its crappy internet speed just so I could post this, but this quote is an absolute must to have:
(HHGTTG)
All the dolphins: So long, and thanks for all the fish!
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:27 am
by Serza5
o3o
Boo
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:33 am
by Smega
Willie Trombone: Please feed my pet flytrap. He eats ring-food. I do not.
The Neverhood
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:35 am
by Serza5
First you will be baked, and then there will be cake
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:45 am
by Shrooblord
Just found a chain of comments on a YouTube video by sethbling:
this should be a new biome, would be soo cool
WAYtoomuchbacon
Don't you mean it WOOD be cool?
TheTacoKing12 in reply to WAYtoomuchbacon
I see what YEW did there!
luiscarls8 in reply to TheTacoKing12
OAKay, I think this is getting out of hand...
wAsTiNgSp00nZ in reply to luiscarls8
Guys, my sPINE is starting to hurt.
crashbash84 in reply to wAsTiNgSp00nZ
Dont be such a little BIRCH.
GrahambertusJosepha in reply to crashbash84
Forget this I'm LEAVEing.
MrTyri1 in reply to GrahambertusJosepha
I can't think of a clever comment.
Its so TREEky.
ShAdOwBladez9825 in reply to MrTyri1
You guys need to BRANCH out and learn new jokes
jfsalaba in reply to ShAdOwBladez9825
Ok, Who is the ROOT of these jokes?
ashdawn505 in reply to jfsalaba
I have to say, I'm in love with this chain of terrible tree puns. I'm Rooting for you guys!
sethbling in reply to ashdawn505
will you just all FIRk off with all these tree puns you bunch of SAPS
TheCreeperNetwork in reply to sethbling
I like to PRUNE little boys
dragonwar524 in reply to TheCreeperNetwork
these puns are very POPLAR
TheCreeperNetwork in reply to dragonwar524
I like DICKS
ZirixZero in reply to TheCreeperNetwork
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:10 pm
by Decidetto
Whoah, I am a sucker for puns, and those tree puns were awesome to read!
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:48 pm
by Xenon
"You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours"
"Sorry son, we didn't know whether to buy you a toy or a pet, so we compromised - we bought you a rattle snake"
"We in the Tory party are going to give all the people of the north a huge boost, and then all the people can come out and lick the chocolate off it"
Just thought I'd leave these
Re: Funny Expressions!
Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:21 pm
by ikke471
From Kid Icarus Uprising
Pit: hey look! An exo tank!
Hades: hey look! Who cares?
Pyrrhon: what?! I can't hear you over all this awesome!
Pyrrhon: Pyrrhon senses danger.. And now.. Pyrrhon sees it.