Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

[iHeckler9]

My sister just blurted out over Facebook chat that Hoodie (my inactive brother) and his girlfriend have split up...4 weeks ago.
Nobody mentioned anything to me.
Coupled with the fact that dad's suffering from a sudden outbreak of anxiety and mum's getting stressed over everything, the house is literally a fucking time bomb ready to burst.
My sister is now telling me to go up and hug him. This would likely result in the ENTIRE FOUNDATION OF OUR FAMILY COLLAPSING.
gaaaaaaaaaaaah what the fuck do i do

[Hunchman801]

I'm a bit late to the party, but after reading through all of this, I'd like to say that I find absolutely appalling the fact that GTA 5 was pulled from shelves as a consequence of a ridiculous petition based on groundless accusations. I feel the same about the accusations of sexism against this game, but since Serza and Candish's points were well addressed by Brad and Rayfist, no need to elaborate.

There's just two topics that were mentioned but overlooked in this conversation.

The first one is the “fake geek girl” or “fake gamer girl” concept: in fact, fake geek girls do exist, just like fake geek guys do. As technology became more and more important in our lives, the geek culture received a lot more attention and many people have attempted to appropriate it, perceiving as sexy something that is the very opposite of that. The problem is with the sexist prejudice that any geek girl is necessarily a fake geek, but unfortunately some clearly are.

The second one is that of sexist jokes. I like sexist jokes. I like racist jokes. I like all jokes. If someone is stupid enough to not understand that what makes those jokes funny is the prejudice they're based on, what can I do? Censor myself because some people have no humor? Fuck that, a joke is a joke, women belong in the kitchen, men can't do two things at once, black people stink, white people can't dance, and I can find all that funny without believing it to be true.

I do, however, understand Serza's anger at the claim that Sarkeesian should get hit. As Voltaire (or someone else, who knows) said: I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.

When it comes to her ideas, I don't know much of that woman. I remember watching her video about “Ms. Male characters”, in which she clearly had an interesting point (way too many female characters have no special attribute other than being female, can't really argue against that), but which also contained ludicrous statements (if anyone's interested, I'll watch it again and elaborate tomorrow). I also remember reading her complaint about an ad for a video game (Bayonetta?) that consisted in stripping a woman naked by removing post-its from a large billboard. She claimed that it encouraged rape and other forms of sexual assault, which is as downright ridiculous as saying that Call of Duty makes people want to gun down everyone on the street: a game is a game. So clearly, as spiral said, she makes some good points, but overall she seems to be a dangerous extremist who is receiving way too much attention.

[Keane]

The second one is that of sexist jokes. I like sexist jokes. I like racist jokes. I like all jokes. If someone is stupid enough to not understand that what makes those jokes funny is the prejudice they're based on, what can I do? Censor myself because some people have no humor? Fuck that, a joke is a joke, women belong in the kitchen, men can't do two things at once, black people stink, white people can't dance, and I can find all that funny without believing it to be true.

When offensive humour is clearly just that and nothing more, it's fine and I agree. I do that all the time with my friend, but we're both aware that we're comfortable with it and that it's not actually our mindset, obviously. But if you were to live in the US, especially around my area, you'd be surprised how often that isn't the case. Like those shitty assholes in my fitness class who legitimately believe that women are on a lower level and it shows up in their humour. While it happens everywhere, ultimately I think some of these issues are more of an American problem. People here are always labeling others and themselves, with everything from gender, race, sex, religion, political opinion, everything being a very serious thing here. Here on RPC I'd have no problem turning my sexuality into the topic of a joke, but that just doesn't fly in the US. If anything, it's more likely that someone is gonna actually try to be offensive and attempt to make it seem like they're just "jumping in" on the joke. (This has actually happened numerous times to me)

You turn on the news and it's not like in most places of Europe where they just go "Here's the news, this happened, we have no opinion over it, it's just a thing going on right now" and you gotta watch some other show to hear some opinions. But here it's 95% debate about what's socially acceptable and what affect this thing has on the children. It's like when Marilyn Manson got big and everyone in Europe was just kinda "eh well he is an artist" but in the US there was fucking protest and tons of shows discussing what he looked like and what he did and if it should be allowed. Take in mind that the Republicans, probably the largest political group in the country, are openly homophobic and clearly have some racism and sexism in their way of thinking, and say "religious freedom!" but then proceed to enforce Christianity into their laws and prejudice against Muslims, and some of them right now are literally against the concept of cable companies not being allowed to discriminate and censor human rights sites. This is certainly not the US a whole and there's millions who are against this way of thinking, but there's also millions who still hold on to very outdated believes and media shits it out everywhere, making this country feel like it's 50 years behind the rest of the developed world.

[Snagglebee]

Yesterday, I had to break up actually not one but two friendships... but the fate decided to set only one on ice, and not completely demolish it.
It was just a really hard day for me you see and I am still feeling very hurt from that. It's like someone stabbed my heart, it's that much of a pain. And everytime I think of yesterday, I'm feeling like I need to puke. In fact, the last night, I did even puke, not once but couples times yes, because I just can't stop thinking.

The thing that bothers me a lot is, I do have many other pals in school and outter school who I used to talk sometimes when I feel like. I indeed am not alone, yet I feel alone.. That's just a controversy, and I just don't understand..

[OCG]

Those people clearly were not your true friends, you should not feel hurt. It's their loss that they no longer have friend like you.

[Rayfist]

but which also contained ludicrous statements (if anyone's interested, I'll watch it again and elaborate tomorrow). I also remember reading her complaint about an ad for a video game (Bayonetta?) that consisted in stripping a woman naked by removing post-its from a large billboard. She claimed that it encouraged rape and other forms of sexual assault, which is as downright ridiculous as saying that Call of Duty makes people want to gun down everyone on the street: a game is a game. So clearly, as spiral said, she makes some good points, but overall she seems to be a dangerous extremist who is receiving way too much attention.

Fucking this. This is the reason why so many people don't like her. Couldn't have been described any better.

Of course you can expect people to miss the main jist of her videos when her own personal problems start to shroud the points she brings up.

[Snagglebee]

Those people clearly were not your true friends,

Welp, I have heared that many times before.. That really has confused me which leaded me breaking up friendships!

you should not feel hurt.

I know, but I am hardly getting over it :/
That's the first time in my life, that something like this happened...

[Shrooblord]

You're gonna feel shitty for a while, emshomar. I've felt bad about having to leave some people in my life behind too in the past, though I made the decision to do so concientiously, based on what I knew was good for my (mental) health. Some people are just nasty to you for some reason and there's no point in sticking around them for any longer than you absolutely have to. Why drink of a poisoned well when there's a luscious spring right next to it?

Yes, you feel bad. That's good - there were parts of you that really liked your friend (hence they were your friends) and they're hurting right now because another part of you realised you had to say goodbye. But all of you will learn to accept the fact that you're distancing yourself from that person and in the end, it will make you happier.

Let some time roll over. Maybe later, you guys can hook up again once every now and then, forget about all the bad things that defiled what you went through quite recently now and have some fun together before parting ways again for a while more.

I have some people I know that I like to see once every year or so, maybe a little less sometimes. Hanging out with them more doesn't feel right, but seeing them every so often is nice. And they're not as rotten to me when they realise that they'll only see me for that one day. I think, in that moment, both of us know that our time will be fleeting and we relish what little time we have together.

In the end, know in your heart which is the right choice for you. If you follow what you know in your heart to be true, the whole world can go fuck itself because you know that you're following what you think is right. Keep believing in yourself and keep true to your moral compass. There's no point in fighting yourself. There's no point in disliking yourself. You're gonna be stuck with you for the rest of your life, so you'd better fix about you what you don't like or else you're going to be miserable for as long as you remain here.

Anyway, you need to go through these sad emotions for a bit. Don't get stuck in 'em, that's all. Maybe play some Rayman games to cheer you up, distract you.

[Alex Hofstadter]

I want to give my opinion on the GTA shit.
That's a mean game.
Wether you hit a male or female, it's violence. Such games should be banned.
And Anita wasn't being feminazi. In a society in which a physically strong sex opresses yours, and then claims yours have equality with theirs while it's not true, and a stupid videogame *promotes* the ongoing opression, how'd you react?
You would be proud?

[Rayfist]

No, look, you're doing it wrong, you have to soften the bait before you lure it.

[DandyGuy]

I want to give my opinion on the GTA shit.
That's a mean game.
Wether you hit a male or female, it's violence. Such games should be banned.
And Anita wasn't being feminazi. In a society in which a physically strong sex opresses yours, and then claims yours have equality with theirs while it's not true, and a stupid videogame *promotes* the ongoing opression, how'd you react?
You would be proud?

No, look, you're doing it wrong, you have to soften the bait before you lure it.

I laughed harder than I ought to of.

[Adsolution]

You're gonna feel shitty for a while, emshomar. I've felt bad about having to leave some people in my life behind too in the past, though I made the decision to do so concientiously, based on what I knew was good for my (mental) health. Some people are just nasty to you for some reason and there's no point in sticking around them for any longer than you absolutely have to. Why drink of a poisoned well when there's a luscious spring right next to it?

Yes, you feel bad. That's good - there were parts of you that really liked your friend (hence they were your friends) and they're hurting right now because another part of you realised you had to say goodbye. But all of you will learn to accept the fact that you're distancing yourself from that person and in the end, it will make you happier.

Let some time roll over. Maybe later, you guys can hook up again once every now and then, forget about all the bad things that defiled what you went through quite recently now and have some fun together before parting ways again for a while more.

I have some people I know that I like to see once every year or so, maybe a little less sometimes. Hanging out with them more doesn't feel right, but seeing them every so often is nice. And they're not as rotten to me when they realise that they'll only see me for that one day. I think, in that moment, both of us know that our time will be fleeting and we relish what little time we have together.

In the end, know in your heart which is the right choice for you. If you follow what you know in your heart to be true, the whole world can go fuck itself because you know that you're following what you think is right. Keep believing in yourself and keep true to your moral compass. There's no point in fighting yourself. There's no point in disliking yourself. You're gonna be stuck with you for the rest of your life, so you'd better fix about you what you don't like or else you're going to be miserable for as long as you remain here.

Anyway, you need to go through these sad emotions for a bit. Don't get stuck in 'em, that's all. Maybe play some Rayman games to cheer you up, distract you.

But also, never forget the bond you two shared originally. What was it that made you two such good friends, emshomar, so good that you feel downright sick to leave them behind?

[OCG]

I disagree with your statement Ad. I had a friend who was my best friend first 5 grades in Elementary School. I personally never want to hear about or see that asshole again in my life and the bond I shared with him originally means nothing to me now. Wouldn't be surprising if we physically started fight if we ever see eachother again which is why it should be best that we never do see eachother hopefully. Some people just hurt you so much in a way you never want to keep any memory of them and the thoughts are making you feel sick and you regret ever thinking they were good people. That was case that happened to me. Now I am not claiming the same case is for emshomar's situation since I do not fully know details and won't even bother asking anyone about it since it is something private obviously, but I am just saying that telling him that he should never forget the bond they shared without knowing the details of story is not the very best idea because you can never know the background.

[Adsolution]

but I am just saying that telling him that he should never forget the bond they shared without knowing the details of story is not the very best idea because you can never know the background.

While you go and willingly defend one side of the party without offering a word of support to the other 'without knowing the background'. I'm trying to ask a friendly, neutral question, I don't need someone throwing in their life story in the form of a subjective lecture over something so minute.

[saerleiya]

Emshomar, I feel so sorry for you.

It's very hard to stop that kind of relationship, especially when you were eetign the people concerned a lot. I can't give you many advices about it, as most of my friendships didn't really end this way: either I slowly detached from some friends because of distance and time, or I just tried to think I was friend with idiots who exploited that and bullied me at school. I was a bit too naive in my teenage years.

I had a friend who was my best friend first 5 grades in Elementary School. I personally never want to hear about or see that asshole again in my life and the bond I shared with him originally means nothing to me now.

The original bonds of friendship tend to change quite a lot with your age when you are young. In elementary school, negative feelings and memories don't last too long for you to remember them and direct them towards the people you don't like. It's more their overall behaviour, and this behaviour doesn't change that much as it is heavily influenced by your paternal/maternal figure (either your parents or your educator, whatever, you know what I mean, the adult educating you everyday).

But things start to change in secondary school, high school. Better memory, questioning of the authority by self-judgement, the change of your body impacting the codes around you, etc...all reasons can turn a good friendship in elementary school into a close to dog-fight opposition. So, to my mind, Adsolution's statement is quite correct. I don' say your point is not valid (some memories would better be forgotten, or at least put aside), it's more the example used which is (and I justified why right above). If you broke a friendship, remember why you got along so well in the first place, so you can also agree on the fact that it was because the relation could be simpler than what it is now because you were younger.

[Hunchman801]

I want to give my opinion on the GTA shit.
That's a mean game.
Wether you hit a male or female, it's violence. Such games should be banned.
And Anita wasn't being feminazi. In a society in which a physically strong sex opresses yours, and then claims yours have equality with theirs while it's not true, and a stupid videogame *promotes* the ongoing opression, how'd you react?
You would be proud?

[Bradandez]

Alex is right. I am opressed. The black guy in GTA V probably has a bigger wiener than me.

#BanBlackWieners

[Rayfist]

[Bradandez]

Not too long ago, I was chatting with this girl I liked a lot. And you know what? I thought we hit it off pretty well. We talked about life, entertainment, and anything in between. But two-three weeks ago, it was the last time I chatted with her. She hasn't responded since. I did respect her space and just put our chat aside. It was last week when I managed the courage to start a conversation. I typed in "Hello, how's it going?" and what I got back was "You do not have permission to chat with this person". I was heartbroken to say the least. My mind rushed with "Oh my God, did I do something wrong?" and related phrases, you know. I never stepped onto creeper territory, as I stated, I respected her privacy/space. I'm not one to hold a grudge, so I got over it pretty quickly. But I'm still curious why she blocked me. Oh well.

[DandyGuy]

Sounds like shes joking. I mean who says "You do not have permission to chat with this person"? Or it sounds like some one else had her phone and said that.