Dear Diary

[Shrooblord]

Dear Diary,

Happy Birthday! You turned one today. I hope you may live long and grow to be a big, fat diary, full of nasty-ass secrets. Not all of them true. Not all of them false. But who knows! Now, let me tell you about my caraayzayy day.

Today I made a friend. We were discussing reports over our practical together and he asks me "How's your English?" I say "You joshing me?" - joshing, silly me! - "I'm half English." to which he said "Oh that's cool. I grew up in the States, so." He was all cool like. I couldn't help but laugh and stare deep into his eyes, his deep, blue eyes... and I thought of the buttsecks. But then I realised... I'm not gay! Haha I didn't really think of the buttsecks. But it was good buttsecks.

Anyhoo - that's all for today. I hope nobody else finds you opened up like this and starts writing about their own stories...!!

PS
What a strange coincidence that I wrote in you on 11:11 the 11th of 11.

[Jewish Candy]

Shroob what the actual fuck

Dear Diary,

I know your original owner abandoned you naked and helpless on the internet. But I'm here now. I'll look after you, care for you as if you were my own, feed you with all the juiciest secrets and becrets I can harvest from the depths of my mind. Like this for example:

Today I went to Covent Garden to hunt for fine tea and those FootUndeez with the gel bottoms. As I walked down the road from my house, I realised I'd only double checked everything, not triple-checked like usual. Sure, I'd locked up, but what if I hadn't locked up? Sure, no one had even been near the oven today, but what if someone had been near the oven today? Fire. The house would burn.
Yes.
I realised it was inevitable - we must all crumble, be broken unto nothingness in order to free the self and rise from the ashes of our egos. We must all be purged. My time had come. It was right that we lose it all, our arrogance, our security. I was an instrument of justice, a harbinger of the black primal chaos in Whose womb we all originate and to Whom all must return.

I had the most delish meal in Neals Yard with my mumsie, it was this strange raw food place. Yum! Who knew health could be so fun amirite? There were no FootUndeez and I had to settle for Chinese Sencha, but all in all it was a good day.

HAHA okay Diary, I've gotta go now. Make sure to wait for me riiiiiight here and not run off with anyone else, okay? The world is full of psychopaths. Buh-bye~

[Bradandez]

Dear Diary,

I dreamed of kissing Hitler and I woke up aroused.

P.S Remember to check out Mein Kampf tomorrow.

[Dark Lum Lord]

Dear Diary,

My teen-angst bullshit has a body count.

Sincerely,
I guess I'm a Veronica after all~

[Shrooblord]

Dear Diary,

Today was a quick day at the practicals! Finished at 12:00 already. Home by 13:00. Lovely. I couldn't help but feel genocidal flushing all the yeast cells down... I'm studying the wrong course if that bothers me, I guess. But I can't help being so interested in the things that involve countering my core principles. Dilemma!

Yesterday I had a gig in the student place across the street. It was really good! I sucked at first, that is to say, was a regular drummer keeping rhythm in the first few songs, but I got hyped and into it all by the time the fourth song came on. The crowd's energy was fantastic - so many dancing people and mosh pits and people singing along. Great stuff.

The day before I went to Video Games Live. It was an orchestra and two game music composers leading them that played all sorts of music, apparently hand-picked by the crowd as voted the most popular from their repertoire. There were some 'pretty standard' things there that were still incredibly awesome though: Sonic (from Green Hill Zone Act I to present day games), Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy VII (yes, they played that one), Chronotrigger, Halo, Assassin's Creed... and quite surprising but to my great joy: Earthworm Jim!! There was so much epic win going around in that hall I can't begin to describe.

But then something strange happened. A woman in front of me stood up and I found myself staring right into her 'workman's cleavage'. Naturally, I mean her buttcrack. And suddenly, from it sprang forth the constellations and all the colours of the Universe. And I found myself flying through these fantastic sights while a mysterious black hole appeared that took me further into the depths of the Unknown but then I found it. The stars were all gone. There was but one question running through my mind. All I could think of was 42. And then she sat back down again. But in that wondrous, perpetual yet fleeting moment, I understood. And I saw all. And it was good.

Anyway, it seems there were some scribbles on your last few pages that I'm pretty sure I didn't write. Hope nobody writes in you again while I leave you unattended with the pen right there beside you...!

Toodles!

[Dark Lum Lord]

Dear Diary,

'Thesaurus' sounds like a geeky dinosaur, and this is much the amusings!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
XxmyimmortalxX
xXmytaquitosXx

[Bradandez]

Dear Diary,

I saw some black people coming towards me when I was walking down the sidewalk. I screamed and ran away.

P.S Buy more crosses and pick up uniform from yellow dry cleaners.

[Indy]

Dear diary,

While I was at work today, I farted after I had lunch.
And then minutes later, I let one out that allowed me to fly. Even if I was airborne for 5 seconds, the view from above was really pretty. And then I crashed and broke all my bones.

Buh-bye~!

[Thebananacrafter!]

Dear Diary
Today while walking home with my friend He brutally murdered a butterfly with a scooter
Sincerely,
Some 15 year old who called himself Thebananacrafter

[Harpic fraîcheur]

Dear Diary, (I will call you Diarrhée, Diarrhea in French)

I pooped in my toilets.

It was a nice day.

[Bradandez]

Dear Diary,

I'm currently combing my ass hairs.

P.S I learned to milk my nipples.

[Indy]

Dear Diary,

I'm currently combing my ass hairs.

P.S I learned to milk my nipples.

That is SO going to be in my signature!

Dear diary, sincerely miss Star Butterfly.

[Thebananacrafter!]

Dear Diary
I ate too much toast today
Sincerely,
Some 15 year old who called himself Thebananacrafter

[Snagglebee]

Dear Diary,
Something weird must have happened today that I can't understand. I'll just ignore it and continue living my life as planned.

Sincerely,
Some big dreamer.

[Bradandez]

Dear Diary,

I'm currently combing my ass hairs.

P.S I learned to milk my nipples.

That is SO going to be in my signature!

Dear diary, sincerely miss Star Butterfly.

Thank. I m honored.

Dear Diary,

Squid Ink fuels Dank Memes.

Sincerely, Brad's Asshole

P.S Bush did 7/11

[incognito]

Dear diary,

Many people want me dead, I escaped a death trap yesterday, and today I have to spend my time with people that want to rip and tear my mask to discover my identity, will I have the strength to endure that another day ?

A random strange guy known as Incognito.

[Bradandez]

Dear Diary,

I saw a lady with big, fat titties and I said gross.

P.S Alluh Akbar

[Bradandez]

Dear Diary,

I can't tell if these kids are giving me the fuck me eyes.

P.S Find the perfect child.

[Master]

Dear Diary,
I need moar posts. Give them to me.

[Bradandez]

Dear Diary,

When will Jesus stop leaving me voicemails.