Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
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Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
So, no more off topic, actually, I believe in ghosts, as a bodyless soul, I think what you saw might be real (unless if you ate LSD or shrooms *cough**cough*)
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
Oh hey Rsandee, s'been like 2-3 years?
Admittedly, I don't believe in any form of spiritual/ghostly whatever. It's more than often the case that people let themselves get involved in ideas and stories that can usually be explained when you patch up the missing holes of logic that intrigue people in the first place. Personally I've stopped finding/hoping for any deeper meaning or purpose behind life where things make sense, and prefer to focus more on philosophy revolving around my believe that I'm quite literally going to stop thinking and there won't be anything like watching over a family member.
Now in a miracle case, I mean, that really just relies on your personal take on what it could have been and whether you deem something like it to be possible. In my case, I'd probably be like Ambi and doubt myself, but unfortunately no one can really put themselves in your shoes with something like this.
Admittedly, I don't believe in any form of spiritual/ghostly whatever. It's more than often the case that people let themselves get involved in ideas and stories that can usually be explained when you patch up the missing holes of logic that intrigue people in the first place. Personally I've stopped finding/hoping for any deeper meaning or purpose behind life where things make sense, and prefer to focus more on philosophy revolving around my believe that I'm quite literally going to stop thinking and there won't be anything like watching over a family member.
Now in a miracle case, I mean, that really just relies on your personal take on what it could have been and whether you deem something like it to be possible. In my case, I'd probably be like Ambi and doubt myself, but unfortunately no one can really put themselves in your shoes with something like this.
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NyaNyaLily
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Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
This feels awfully familiar.iHeckler9 wrote:Also I feel like everyone ignores me until I make a note of it, where I get ignored half of the time.
It's not like anyone really wants me to be around anyway.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
Something weird is happening to me lately, in my whole life I never had feelings for other people than my family, I was never attracted by someone, making me thinking I was different, "superior" by the lack of empathy.
But that awesome story haven't lasted, I saw a beautiful girl and strange phenomenon began to affect me, my heart began act like if I drank 10 cofees, lack of appetite, insomnia, and finally the worst, the loss of the control of my photographic memory.
What should I do ?
But that awesome story haven't lasted, I saw a beautiful girl and strange phenomenon began to affect me, my heart began act like if I drank 10 cofees, lack of appetite, insomnia, and finally the worst, the loss of the control of my photographic memory.
What should I do ?
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
It seems your showing signs of affection towards someone else. I have absolutely no idea what to say about this other than what it is. If you want to be ""superior" by the lack of empathy." I suggest repressing these feelings towards other people. Other than that its up to you.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
It is horrible, I don't want to join the dark side ! 
But seriously, I wish it never happened to me.
I don't even know what to think about that.
I think I will just make like if it never happened, it is the best thing to do, but something is scaring me, if it happens to me again.
I have to destroy my humanity, for good.
But seriously, I wish it never happened to me.
I don't even know what to think about that.
I think I will just make like if it never happened, it is the best thing to do, but something is scaring me, if it happens to me again.
I have to destroy my humanity, for good.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
Ill leave you with this. I figure (for myself at-least) Its better to transcend duality and come to totality. In other words as you read the final lines in this paragraph, "I Feel nothing towards anyone"
#9 “Instant karma!”
SPIKE:
Laughing Bull said to me, "Swimming bird, do you know what your soul is made from?" I said, "No. Probably some cotton dust that's rolling around somewhere." Bull said, "That answer is wrong, yet correct. Your body is connected to the universe, yet it is not; your soul includes the entire universe, yet it does not. That is for me and for everyone. If you hate someone, you hate yourself; if you love someone, you love yourself."I said, "I don't feel anything towards anyone." Bull said, "That is the greatest misfortune on this earth."
#9 “Instant karma!”
SPIKE:
Laughing Bull said to me, "Swimming bird, do you know what your soul is made from?" I said, "No. Probably some cotton dust that's rolling around somewhere." Bull said, "That answer is wrong, yet correct. Your body is connected to the universe, yet it is not; your soul includes the entire universe, yet it does not. That is for me and for everyone. If you hate someone, you hate yourself; if you love someone, you love yourself."I said, "I don't feel anything towards anyone." Bull said, "That is the greatest misfortune on this earth."
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
I made my choice, I have to destroy what remains of human in me. 
It will be painful, but it has to be done.
It will be painful, but it has to be done.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
How do you plan to do that?
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
I have my methods.
It is simply a painful mental exercise.
It is what Vader made to Starkiller's third clone (distant thunder 7 freedom)
It is simply a painful mental exercise.
It is what Vader made to Starkiller's third clone (distant thunder 7 freedom)
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
Fascinating. Ive been looking for ways to suppress this emotion too.
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Ambidextroid
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Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
What the dix are you two on about?
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
No, I won't, I don't know but that part of me, that humanity is like a little light shining in the darkness. Also Dandy I think you shouldn't suppress that emotion.incognito wrote:I made my choice, I have to destroy what remains of human in me.
I have to say tonight I tried, but today I realized destroying what I became today would be a mistake, today I know who I am, I just accepted my humanity, I had to do it.
It is now, a part of me.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
Time to drop the mask then.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
No.
Not even in your dreams.
Not even in your dreams.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
I hope everything go wells for you. Im not sure what to think of it.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
Oh don't worry, everything is going well...
...
At least for now.
I promised to myself, if that attempt is unsuccessful, I will be the last.
...
At least for now.
I promised to myself, if that attempt is unsuccessful, I will be the last.
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Itooh
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Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
Glad you changed your mind, it really sounded like a bad idea!
Regarding empathy, maybe you shouldn't see it as a weakness. It's actually quite easy to don't have any, and I suspect most of people to not have much of it. Not caring about others' feeling or choices… Yeah, it's really common. Empathy is an effort, conscious or not.
Of course there are different levels of “difficulty”. Caring for closes one, or pretty-object-of-sexual-attraction, is so easy that almost automatic. I'm not sure the last one really counts for “empathy”: if that was the case, there would be more understanding of the concepts of “not reciprocal feelings” and “consent”.
A more tedious level is empathy for, well, anyone that don't represent an interest. Strangers, unattractive ones, people from miles away that you won't ever meet… It's easy to see those kind of people as only data, or stories. But they actually need that we try to care for them, that we make the effort to be conscious of their problems, or even opinions. We have capabilities that others have not.
And the last, most exhausting level, is empathy for your “enemies”. The ones that are different, share opposite opinions, jerks, ignorants, violents… We all instinctively think of them as just evil, or not worth it. But they actually have reasons to act as they do (not excuses, I shall emphasize that), fears, feelings… “Fighting” them efficiently means actually understanding them, and in the best case, trying not to eliminate them, but to find a solution for both of you, and maybe making them learn (or better: learning ourselves!) and become someone better.
Those two last kinds of empathy are really rare if you ask me. Because, as I said, it needs efforts. It means thinking about the group before oneself. I can't even pretend to be prefect in that aspect. But… I believe we need it.
First because I have principles. Living beings deserve to be treated with respect and understanding, no matter what they did (note: treated with respect isn't synonymous of treated kindly). But second, because that's the only way society can work. We evolve because some people chose to learn from other, and share their knowledge, opinions, possessions or even emotions. We live in families and communities because we are able to care for others. We built cities because we're more efficients in group. We had Star Wars because people listened to stories of others, and concentrated their talents to create another one!
Prisoners' dilemma, no more no less: thinking individually, the only solution is the “not worst” outcome. Thinking for the group, it leads to the better… but it's risky. The world is already in a terrible state, because human has a tendency to care only for itself. Should we be another of those, enjoying life for ourself as long as it last, or should we take the risk to make it better for everyone?
***
But as I said, and as you noticed, empathy is difficult. Not only it can be counter intuitive to care for people you don't know or like, and make efforts that won't be profitable to you in the end… But it also come with a lot of dilemma, questions, fears, emotions, pain, tough experiences and even physical effects!
Yeah, I would be more “productive” if I didn't cry for lost family members, or if I didn't feel melancholia every time I think of friends I haven't seen in ages. But it is meaningless compared to all I have to gain from social interaction! Not only learning, but also gaining experiences, enlarging my field of vision, discovering other thoughts than mine, and, of course, all the joy that come from being meaningful to someone. (and Mario Kart)
So, about that girl. I don't know in what context you saw her, or how seriously it affected you (seeing you talking about “killing your humanity” with a Darth Vader method make me believe it's a big deal), so my suggestion might not be pertinent at all. But I would advice to talk to her, if you can. You might discover that she's more than just a “pretty girl”, understanding the person she is (maybe she's a NAZI omg!!!). And whether you appreciate her or not for who she is, at least you'd know her, and that could give a beginning of answers for your troubles.
And reciprocally, she would know you. Which isn't bad, really! Social interactions and empathy take efforts, and have a lot of negative side effects. But it makes you and the world progress in an amazing way. It's not a weakness, it's a challenge.
Your “superiority” is worthless if you keep it for yourself.
Regarding empathy, maybe you shouldn't see it as a weakness. It's actually quite easy to don't have any, and I suspect most of people to not have much of it. Not caring about others' feeling or choices… Yeah, it's really common. Empathy is an effort, conscious or not.
Of course there are different levels of “difficulty”. Caring for closes one, or pretty-object-of-sexual-attraction, is so easy that almost automatic. I'm not sure the last one really counts for “empathy”: if that was the case, there would be more understanding of the concepts of “not reciprocal feelings” and “consent”.
A more tedious level is empathy for, well, anyone that don't represent an interest. Strangers, unattractive ones, people from miles away that you won't ever meet… It's easy to see those kind of people as only data, or stories. But they actually need that we try to care for them, that we make the effort to be conscious of their problems, or even opinions. We have capabilities that others have not.
And the last, most exhausting level, is empathy for your “enemies”. The ones that are different, share opposite opinions, jerks, ignorants, violents… We all instinctively think of them as just evil, or not worth it. But they actually have reasons to act as they do (not excuses, I shall emphasize that), fears, feelings… “Fighting” them efficiently means actually understanding them, and in the best case, trying not to eliminate them, but to find a solution for both of you, and maybe making them learn (or better: learning ourselves!) and become someone better.
Those two last kinds of empathy are really rare if you ask me. Because, as I said, it needs efforts. It means thinking about the group before oneself. I can't even pretend to be prefect in that aspect. But… I believe we need it.
First because I have principles. Living beings deserve to be treated with respect and understanding, no matter what they did (note: treated with respect isn't synonymous of treated kindly). But second, because that's the only way society can work. We evolve because some people chose to learn from other, and share their knowledge, opinions, possessions or even emotions. We live in families and communities because we are able to care for others. We built cities because we're more efficients in group. We had Star Wars because people listened to stories of others, and concentrated their talents to create another one!
Prisoners' dilemma, no more no less: thinking individually, the only solution is the “not worst” outcome. Thinking for the group, it leads to the better… but it's risky. The world is already in a terrible state, because human has a tendency to care only for itself. Should we be another of those, enjoying life for ourself as long as it last, or should we take the risk to make it better for everyone?
***
But as I said, and as you noticed, empathy is difficult. Not only it can be counter intuitive to care for people you don't know or like, and make efforts that won't be profitable to you in the end… But it also come with a lot of dilemma, questions, fears, emotions, pain, tough experiences and even physical effects!
Yeah, I would be more “productive” if I didn't cry for lost family members, or if I didn't feel melancholia every time I think of friends I haven't seen in ages. But it is meaningless compared to all I have to gain from social interaction! Not only learning, but also gaining experiences, enlarging my field of vision, discovering other thoughts than mine, and, of course, all the joy that come from being meaningful to someone. (and Mario Kart)
So, about that girl. I don't know in what context you saw her, or how seriously it affected you (seeing you talking about “killing your humanity” with a Darth Vader method make me believe it's a big deal), so my suggestion might not be pertinent at all. But I would advice to talk to her, if you can. You might discover that she's more than just a “pretty girl”, understanding the person she is (maybe she's a NAZI omg!!!). And whether you appreciate her or not for who she is, at least you'd know her, and that could give a beginning of answers for your troubles.
And reciprocally, she would know you. Which isn't bad, really! Social interactions and empathy take efforts, and have a lot of negative side effects. But it makes you and the world progress in an amazing way. It's not a weakness, it's a challenge.
Your “superiority” is worthless if you keep it for yourself.
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
I don't accept that challenge, my plans are already done, after giving a contribution to the world, I will clone myself and die.Itooh wrote:it's a challenge.
I never felt that.Itooh wrote: pretty-object-of-sexual-attraction
It isn't, the fact I could feel "love" really suddenly scared me, It was like if I wasn't myself anymore, I hate loosing control of myself.Itooh wrote:(seeing you talking about “killing your humanity” with a Darth Vader method make me believe it's a big deal).
I realized I didn't knew who I was. And I had to make a choice, accept my humanity, or trying to destroy it.
And suddenly, it was like if I was on the Ostankino tower, ready to fire missiles at a part of myself, and I knew I would loose something.
So I changed my mind.
Finally I am happy I saw her, even if nothing happened between us, I discovered a part of myself and I come out more mature.
And after all, something can still happen.
Wow, Artyom's english dubber is really bad, the French version is much better.
....
...
..
.
I have to play Metro now.
*running away*
Re: Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums
^ lol wtf is going on here
Time to talk feels
I was getting a bit antsy to be back in a social place, but, I've hit rock bottom. I really try my best to keep things lively and social but I don't see any reason for it anymore. My anxiety and self-hatred is completely blocking me from enjoying anything, and I just spend entire weeks feeling exhausted, pissed and scared about the whole situation.
I've more or less been on my own for two years now, I have no one to ask for insight anymore and I've been constantly let down. I felt nauseous all day today, and then had a slight anxiety attack later on, and now I'm just stuck with this half angry, half terrified feeling. It's like I'm constantly chasing down this moment to breath and I can never reach it.
TL;DR my mental health is ruined. I can't even put into words how completely fucked my thinking throughout the day is and how much self-hatred I actually get from the slightest things. I don't know where to go but I'm scared that if a solution doesn't come quick I'm gonna get depressed and try to drop out of school and then shits just gonna do even more downhill from there. I just, I don't know, I don't know what to do.
Time to talk feels
I was getting a bit antsy to be back in a social place, but, I've hit rock bottom. I really try my best to keep things lively and social but I don't see any reason for it anymore. My anxiety and self-hatred is completely blocking me from enjoying anything, and I just spend entire weeks feeling exhausted, pissed and scared about the whole situation.
I've more or less been on my own for two years now, I have no one to ask for insight anymore and I've been constantly let down. I felt nauseous all day today, and then had a slight anxiety attack later on, and now I'm just stuck with this half angry, half terrified feeling. It's like I'm constantly chasing down this moment to breath and I can never reach it.
TL;DR my mental health is ruined. I can't even put into words how completely fucked my thinking throughout the day is and how much self-hatred I actually get from the slightest things. I don't know where to go but I'm scared that if a solution doesn't come quick I'm gonna get depressed and try to drop out of school and then shits just gonna do even more downhill from there. I just, I don't know, I don't know what to do.