Jokes topic

Pirez · Post by **Pirez** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 7:32 pm

Why dont you play poker in the Savannah?

A : [Too many cheetah!]

Post by **Hunchman801** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 10:48 pm

That one hurt. My turn:

My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied lubricant.

Acarr · Post by **Acarr** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 10:56 pm

Getting raped by a midget is probably like a dog humping your leg.

Pirez · Post by **Pirez** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 11:14 pm

How do you get to make a woman scream twice in bed?

A : [First you nail her with all your might, then you use the curtains as a towel]

Acarr · Post by **Acarr** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 2:22 am

What is a dinosaurs' least favourite reindeer?

Comet

Post by **Hunchman801** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:07 pm

I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Bradandez · Post by **Bradandez** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:29 pm

Acarr wrote:What is a dinosaurs' least favourite reindeer?

Comet

That's a pretty good one!

Why couldn't the young pirate see the movie?

Because it was rated "Argh".

Xenon · Post by **Xenon** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:43 pm

Hunchman801 wrote:I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.

After an unusually quick session in bed, my wife was incessantly complaining that I didn't finish her off. So I took the pillow nearby and smothered her obligingly.

Acarr · Post by **Acarr** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:51 pm

There's a gang in my area who recruit new members by threatening them with all kinds of horrible punishments if they don't join.

But enough about the Church...

Xenon · Post by **Xenon** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 10:06 pm

The thing I most respect about the Ku Klux Klan is that they dress remarkably like the Hoodlums.

Pirez · Post by **Pirez** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 4:05 pm

A bear and a bunny both find a genie in a bottle.
"I shall grant you both three wishes", he says.
The bear goes first : "I wish that all bears in this forest except me are female!"
The bunny follows : "I wish I knew how to perfectly use a motorcycle."

Round 2 for the bear : "I wish that all bears in the country except me are female!"
The bunny : "I wish for a motorcycle."

Last wish for the bear : "I wish that all bears in the world except me are female!!!"
The bunny : "I wish this bear was gay." And then he leaves using the motorcycle.

Post by **Hunchman801** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 3:18 am

My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.

incognito · Post by **incognito** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 11:13 am

Two cannibals are eating a clown, and one says :
-Does it taste funny to you ?

Acarr · Post by **Acarr** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:29 pm

I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm.

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

incognito · Post by **incognito** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:34 pm

Photons have mass ? I didn't even knew they were Catholic.

Slurpy · Post by **Slurpy** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 10:34 pm

I have a sick joke!

My life.

*steps on a lego.*

Post by **Hunchman801** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 8:03 pm

I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.

NyaNyaLily · Post by **NyaNyaLily** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 8:15 pm

What did the beaver say to the tree?

It was nice gnawing you.

Ok I'll stop

Pirez · Post by **Pirez** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:36 pm

Once upon a time, there was a tiny little penguin who breathed out of his bottom.
One day, he slipped on the ice and fell on his lovely tuschy.
He died.

Acarr · Post by **Acarr** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 3:30 pm

I replaced my shoelaces with earphones. Now they tie themselves.

Rayman Pirate-Community

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