Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

[Pirez]

Well since we're on the subject, what about locking the "word to word" topic in both english and french sections until Record Day? Those topics are spammed a lot and when I see that, I don't feel encline to participate to this forum. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels that way but this tires me lately.

[Acarr]

Word to word has been around for years, it's a game to help members boost up their ting count. And it's not like they're keeping off-topic.

[Bradandez]

I dunno. I can see where Pirez is coming from.

[Harpic fraîcheur]

Word to word has been around for years, it's a game to help members boost up their ting count. And it's not like they're keeping off-topic.

I agree with Acarr about this, but that's true it would maybe be better to post in other topics than the word to word.

[Bradandez]

We were doing well with keeping memes to a minimum guys, you know using them all the time dumbs down the quality of posts.

Using them all the time? I've only seen Keane and Dandy use them and whenever they're used it's done reasonably.

[Hunchman801]

Well since we're on the subject, what about locking the "word to word" topic in both english and french sections until Record Day? Those topics are spammed a lot and when I see that, I don't feel encline to participate to this forum. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels that way but this tires me lately.

I agree with you, I really don't see the point in keeping them open all year round.

As for the recent overuse of memes in this topic, consider this the first and final warning: heavy Ting deductions will follow if I see it happening again.

[gamerz31w]

Why Gabe Newell is telling his making Half-Life 3 instead of planning new games for Valve Software's Steam on PC?

[Comment ?]

Why Gabe Newell is telling his making Half-Life 3 instead of planning new games for Valve Software's Steam on PC?

Good question, my good gamerz31w. Maybe the new games of Half-Life 3 are planning to be Gabe Newell when he thought the Half-Life 3 of new games would be himself?

[gamerz31w]

My Synthesia skills equalls F grade.

[Keane]

I've been feeling like a fucking wreck lately. Grades are dropping, guitar practice is going to shit, and I still feel like I'm constantly on the edge of just completely throwing in the towel. I feel like I've gone too deep in at this point, it's a constant reel of disappointment and discomfort with little to make up for it or any advice that doesn't feel like it's dancing around the actual problem.

I just, I don't have a positive outlook on things anymore, and before I can ever think to "change that attitude" another thing comes and shits further onto it. I feel deprived from the loneliness, the constant cringing at failed social interaction, and the ongoing anxiety about everything from grades to politics. And all I really have is people who can't do much more than maybe just listen but not really relate, and they keep thinking there's some sort of solution I've overlooked that just keeps reinforcing my believe that they don't really know what I'm talking about at all.

I don't really know what to put my focus towards anymore. I'm not excited about spending another day here, I'm not excited about whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be doing in 2-3 years, it all just feels like picking the least of several burdens that end up feeling unrewarding. I'm angry with my own incompetence, but then I can't tell whether to genuinely blame myself or this town, school, and the people in it.

It just seems like whatever direction I try to stir myself into, inevitably it all just comes down to me, working on boring shit, feeling lonely, and not really knowing what I'm supposed to gain from it or knowing why I should be so "excited" and "looking into" my future. I don't really feel passion for anything at all lately, and when I do get a burst of anything it's always dragged down and aside by school and responsibilities.

So here I am, nearly at midnight, with a shit ton of studying left to do, and some cleaning afterwards because I got a burst of frustration and wiped everything off my desk. I've been looking over this work for two hours, I can't answer a single question, and I can't bring myself to bother anymore. It's for an optional retest, but if I don't take it I risk failing a grading period. But I just can't do it, I can't put my mind to it, and even when I do I never get this shit anyway. So all I can do now is continue to read it for another hour, go to bed angry, wake up anxiously, drag myself to that test, hand it in knowing it was useless, and get "maybe if you tried harder!" when I fail another marking period.

I'm just over it all, I've got a desperate craving for anything at all to happen, but I've been clinging on to that kind of thinking too unsuccessfully for too long. No effort I've made has ever helped, and at this point I don't even really know what I'm expecting to change anymore, or whether I'm wanting too much or too little, I can't trust my mind anymore. I feel invisible to people but alienated when they acknowledge me.

[gamerz31w]

Well I'm going to show my maps from Unreal Engine 4 to Blender Artists,but mediafire is uploading these files endlessly.

[Dart]

I've been feeling like a fucking wreck lately. Grades are dropping, guitar practice is going to shit, and I still feel like I'm constantly on the edge of just completely throwing in the towel. I feel like I've gone too deep in at this point, it's a constant reel of disappointment and discomfort with little to make up for it or any advice that doesn't feel like it's dancing around the actual problem.

I just, I don't have a positive outlook on things anymore, and before I can ever think to "change that attitude" another thing comes and shits further onto it. I feel deprived from the loneliness, the constant cringing at failed social interaction, and the ongoing anxiety about everything from grades to politics. And all I really have is people who can't do much more than maybe just listen but not really relate, and they keep thinking there's some sort of solution I've overlooked that just keeps reinforcing my believe that they don't really know what I'm talking about at all.

I don't really know what to put my focus towards anymore. I'm not excited about spending another day here, I'm not excited about whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be doing in 2-3 years, it all just feels like picking the least of several burdens that end up feeling unrewarding. I'm angry with my own incompetence, but then I can't tell whether to genuinely blame myself or this town, school, and the people in it.

It just seems like whatever direction I try to stir myself into, inevitably it all just comes down to me, working on boring shit, feeling lonely, and not really knowing what I'm supposed to gain from it or knowing why I should be so "excited" and "looking into" my future. I don't really feel passion for anything at all lately, and when I do get a burst of anything it's always dragged down and aside by school and responsibilities.

So here I am, nearly at midnight, with a shit ton of studying left to do, and some cleaning afterwards because I got a burst of frustration and wiped everything off my desk. I've been looking over this work for two hours, I can't answer a single question, and I can't bring myself to bother anymore. It's for an optional retest, but if I don't take it I risk failing a grading period. But I just can't do it, I can't put my mind to it, and even when I do I never get this shit anyway. So all I can do now is continue to read it for another hour, go to bed angry, wake up anxiously, drag myself to that test, hand it in knowing it was useless, and get "maybe if you tried harder!" when I fail another marking period.

I'm just over it all, I've got a desperate craving for anything at all to happen, but I've been clinging on to that kind of thinking too unsuccessfully for too long. No effort I've made has ever helped, and at this point I don't even really know what I'm expecting to change anymore, or whether I'm wanting too much or too little, I can't trust my mind anymore. I feel invisible to people but alienated when they acknowledge me.

I know how awful loneliness and enervation are, especially when mixed, but I must encourage you to hang in there. I myself once failed several classes and attempted to ruin my connections around me, and looking back on it I was goddamned miserable, I thought everything was over. But it's not over, these bad times that we're facing are just one page in the books of our lives (as cheesy as that sounds, I do believe it ).

[gamerz31w]

no adsolution activity on her rayman fangame in this forum and no DandyGuy's PM activity,yet?Where are you my friend?

[neo]

Keane, how old are you? I'd like to tell you to leave school but, you have to finish it. Especially if you are young. So do whatever you can to finish, and you'll be able to have a slightly better time.

It sounds like school isn't for you but you are forcing yourself to do it, just as I always had. Just keep looking for new answers. Keep trying new things. Try new clubs, meet new people. Your socializing sucks? So has mine, which is why I made it a point to go to parties and clubs to meet new people, and I failed many times, only to learn from all that. Don't just stay in, that's where your social skills will drop so far that it'll be hard to climb up.

Mix it up. Try some sports, since it seems music isn't working for you right now. Try art. Try dance. Try kareoke. Try DDR. Whatever. Try thinking of goals. Etc.

Ask yourself "Why are my grades dropping, why is guitar practice going to shit, why am I losing my edge on everything?"

Then, you'll figure out that *problem/issue* and you'll be able to cure it or slightly relieve it. (some things you cannot cure, like asthma, you can only control that, etc)

You say before you are even able to reflect or assess the situation, you get bitch slapped by life. Look at the above gif. Anyway, this sounds like you aren't organized and are going with the flow, like I am. You probably have more things you *should* think about right now. For example, I bet deadlines you have are probably closer because you aren't really thinking about them and time passes by, and then you are in *rat freak out mode*. My suggestion, use a calendar. Make a to-do list, and make goals. Keep it simple. That might help with the randomness.

Obviously, accidents and such can be handled with *emergency money*. So know to save for an emergency fund even though I'm not at that point myself.

One, don't be afraid to put blame. You may likely to be partially to blame, but don't take the entire burden. Sometimes our parents put the burden on us when they think it's for the best, when they are wrong. Think about it, and only post it here. It'll at least let you vent. My parents forced school on me, yet I don't even care about it. I like to have fun.

Obviously, you are confused as to why you are feeling a certain way. You are wondering "am I just broken?" when really, all the things *they* tell you is bullshit, all that matters is what makes you feel happy in the end. Dude, I have yet been able to gladfully sit down and play a nice game of league, because of my position... I'm in an apartment that has section 8 housing, and are forced to use crap internet. Sucks. Anyway, the unfortunate thing is that you'll have to trudge through some boring crap just to get to the happy stuff you'd actually like to do.

Let me give you some insight. Now, I feel like a loser, for failing out and *possibly* not being able to go back. I have loans, and have to get braces *again*. So, just know that it sucks to be in this position, more than being pressured and stressed to finish school. Just finish it however you can, because it'll help you in whatever you decide to do in the future, even if you don't use your degree.

You say you are lonely? Then make an effort to make new friends, to prevent yourself from being lonely in the future. Being lonely sucks, so make the effort to going to clubs.

TL;DR:

• Finish school however you can. Period.
• Use lists to remind you of things you need to do so they don't slap you in the face randomly.
• Use a planner and/or calendar so you know when dates are coming up, for business/school related things, and for personal/friend/family related things.
• Remember that not all things are true the way they are said. What matters is how you perceive things and how things make *you* feel. Be happy.
• Ask yourself 'why is this happening' with each problem you brought up in your first sentence, and try to figure out ways to solve those problems.
• Try out many new things, as you need to find a passion to fuel why you go to school. If guitar was your reason, now guitar is not anymore so school is going to go down too. Find a new one, if you can't, just default to sports/exercise at the least.
  
  Extra things to think about if you have time:
• Think about things like emergency funds and money management, those are good habits to start up regardless. IRA's, save your money, etc.
• Try out a sport, so you can have fun and stay active. I always regret not being too involved in sports and that can give me a sense of accomplishment. Plus girls like that too, I think.
• Think about ways to make money. There are many more ways to make money then just getting a job. You can freelance, and make products too. (Like write a book and sell it) People hustle to make money their own way. My boss is part of the fraternity I joined, so this is a small business he and his partner opened up. You can open up a business. You can do whatever you set your mind on. It all depends on you.
• Think about what really matters to you in life, and list them, in your next post. Then make goals for each, and list ways you can achieve each.

[Keane]

Keane, how old are you? I'd like to tell you to leave school but, you have to finish it. Especially if you are young. So do whatever you can to finish, and you'll be able to have a slightly better time.

It sounds like school isn't for you but you are forcing yourself to do it, just as I always had. Just keep looking for new answers. Keep trying new things. Try new clubs, meet new people. Your socializing sucks? So has mine, which is why I made it a point to go to parties and clubs to meet new people, and I failed many times, only to learn from all that. Don't just stay in, that's where your social skills will drop so far that it'll be hard to climb up.

Turning 18 in June, though I got another year of high school to finish due to immigration stuff. Afterwards I'm hoping to find something decent enough for college. I don't really care for attempting to find social hotspots though, I just wanna finish high school and then try to turn shit around by taking a dive in the deep - I'm going to move out alone, and it potentially won't even be within the same country looking at where my family is standing right now, but that's kind of how I want it to be anyway. I'm tired of this place and these people, and it seems much more appealing to me to be forced into taking responsibility instead of actively engaging in some stupid hunt for social interaction.

And also, I don't talk to anyone, so I wouldn't know about parties, much less be invited. I'm the outcast kid, I show up and go unnoticed.

Mix it up. Try some sports, since it seems music isn't working for you right now. Try art. Try dance. Try kareoke. Try DDR. Whatever. Try thinking of goals. Etc.

Nah I know what my interests and skills are, and I'm more than willing to keep going at them, but eventually shit starts to suck the life out of you and everything begins to feel like some kind of burden: Music begins to be treated like work, writing gets replaced with "i'd rather just be watching something and clearing my mind", etc. I need some kind of drive to do these things in the first place, I can't just keep living a shitty life of insane isolation and bad relationships with everyone.

I've already been on the "maybe if i try some new hobbies..." boat, and it wasn't very successful. It was essentially that same sucked out feeling, except with things I'm not even really interested in in the first place.

Ask yourself "Why are my grades dropping, why is guitar practice going to shit, why am I losing my edge on everything?"

Then, you'll figure out that *problem/issue* and you'll be able to cure it or slightly relieve it. (some things you cannot cure, like asthma, you can only control that, etc)

You say before you are even able to reflect or assess the situation, you get bitch slapped by life. Look at the above gif. Anyway, this sounds like you aren't organized and are going with the flow, like I am. You probably have more things you *should* think about right now. For example, I bet deadlines you have are probably closer because you aren't really thinking about them and time passes by, and then you are in *rat freak out mode*. My suggestion, use a calendar. Make a to-do list, and make goals. Keep it simple. That might help with the randomness.

I do those things and know what's causing my problems and why they aren't going away. It's not going away because it's something I can't find a very direct solution for: Becoming social hasn't ever been a matter of just "putting out there" for me, I can have normal conversations and put up a reasonable act of someone who's fairly ordinary, that's not the problem. The real problem is that I feel alienated by people: I don't connect with them, I don't relate, when I try to be myself I can tell people aren't attracted to me, and when I try to put myself out there I feel like an act. I've met people with similar interests and similar humour and whatever, but there's just no real "spark" I guess. It often feels like a lot of effort for very one-sided and unrewarding results, and that's when I throw in the towel. Everyone I meet just doesn't feel right, like the most it might ever be is an occasional chat about some small talk, but I'm tired of always being the "kid who kinda likes the same video games" who gets pushed aside the second other people are introduced.

For example, I'm obsessed with music, so naturally I accepted the offer of joining in on guitar sessions based less around teaching and one-on-one interaction, but more on just messing around with fellow peers and a group effort. But it just didn't work: I could tell I wasn't getting on with these people, and there wasn't anyone I felt like I could really lean towards. They weren't bad people, nor was I refusing to try, but at the end of the day there was unmistakable air of "im only here to fill up some space." I could tell no one was sure how to approach me, and that there was no reason for them to try and give it time when other more interesting and exciting people were available. It's this constant cycle of desperately wanting social interaction and disliking it once I do, mixed with a feeling that everyone I meet just doesn't have a click with me.

>"well then just keep trying"
I did and eventually I stopped because it was the same result every time. I did the best I could, but it didn't really get me any further at the end of the day.

But if you try to say that people won't take it, they refuse to believe that and it's always your fault. Don't get along with people? You didn't try, you were expecting too much, you should've opened up more, etc. There can't just not be a click, it's always some bullshit about how "you can get along with anyone! but you're depressed so you can't like anyone in the first place!" even though that alienation is what got me here in the first place. The other person was a future friend, but you ruined it. I've seen people go into extremes by suggesting all sorts of ridiculous excuses just to try and reject the idea that that problem exists, and that as long as I "open myself up" I can "be close friends with polar opposites!" Ironically, they often never live by these suggestions themselves.
And then of course, if I don't like something I need to "open myself up to it", but if I do that and then dislike it anyway I "shouldn't change myself to please others."

One, don't be afraid to put blame. You may likely to be partially to blame, but don't take the entire burden. Sometimes our parents put the burden on us when they think it's for the best, when they are wrong. Think about it, and only post it here. It'll at least let you vent. My parents forced school on me, yet I don't even care about it. I like to have fun.

I place blame on a lot of things - The people I don't connect with, the bad relationships I have going on, the unlucky place I live in, and a really depressing political/economical environment. But at the same time I also know I'm a pretty bitter fucking person, and I get stuck in vicious cycles of escapism and failing to pull myself back up again. I'm trying to figure myself out, but every time I end up just changing my mind again on what I'm supposed to feel or do.

Obviously, you are confused as to why you are feeling a certain way. You are wondering "am I just broken?" when really, all the things *they* tell you is bullshit, all that matters is what makes you feel happy in the end. Dude, I have yet been able to gladfully sit down and play a nice game of league, because of my position... I'm in an apartment that has section 8 housing, and are forced to use crap internet. Sucks. Anyway, the unfortunate thing is that you'll have to trudge through some boring crap just to get to the happy stuff you'd actually like to do.

Do boring crap to move on to the next boring crap, and use that boring crap to pay off the debts from the previous boring crap. Don't worry, somewhere during all this you might get to play video games. I'm not excited about college at all to be honest, nor am I excited for job hunting. Constantly narrowing list of jobs that all seem like "well most of it is useless degrees and my hobby wont earn me anything so i guess i can like do some photoshop stuff i guess" options.

You say you are lonely? Then make an effort to make new friends, to prevent yourself from being lonely in the future. Being lonely sucks, so make the effort to going to clubs.

Social meetups really aren't catered to less confident/introverted people, they're meant for people who easily kick off conversations and have very general interests. I wouldn't feel like talking to anyone, and no one would be terribly interested in knowing what edgy bullshit I'm into. At best I'd probably pretend to be more happy to be there than I am, and force a laugh at someone's joke. That's, honestly, I know who I am. Forcing social interaction never works, it just really doesn't, it feels like an obligation and you feel worse every time you come back with "well i told someone i like rock music." The lonelier you get, the less you care for talking about frivolous shit.

TL;DR
I'm lost in life and I don't have the energy left, but to make a list

>I haven't had friends, or a healthy relationship in several years. I tried joining some groups and meeting some new people but every time I just feel incompatible and alienated.
>The solution: I don't know. Like luck or something, running into the right person, but I'm fed up with dumb attempts to try and "meet like-minded people." Clubs and whatever, it's not meant for the kind of thing I look for.

>My current life feels like a burden and my upcoming life sounds like one
>The solution: Either I find something I genuinely like or I somehow manage to seriously invest in a hobby

>I'm depressed and don't enjoy shit anymore
>The solution: Open up to some polar opposites I've thought about therapy or something, but having talked to some people with similar issues it feels like a risky and expensive thing to do. I did meet with a counselor at one point, and she was pretty good at ensuring that she understood absolutely nothing about the situation until I lied my way out of it. But still, it might be something to consider if it ever becomes affordable.

I know I'm putting some kind of obstacle to everything, but that's how it is. I've grown continuously more hollow, and I don't really expect anyone here to try and offer the correct insight to the situation, it's not anyone's responsibility but my own. Nonetheless, I always hugely appreciate it when people do take the time to read it, and such an in-depth response even more. I'm sorry if it got a little too dreary and cynical at some points but this stuff usually doesn't evoke the best out of me But yeah I'm glad you bothered to do it man

anyway enough sad shit for me tonight, i'm gonna eat popcorn and watch meme videos

[gamerz31w]

I dislike modern athmoshere of Nintendo Network I prefer classic atmoshpere when they launch newspaper magazines called Nintendo Power not miiverse and no Tomodachi life.

[Snagglebee]

no adsolution activity on her rayman fangame in this forum

*his

[ikke471]

no adsolution activity on her rayman fangame in this forum

*his

well she's fine with both since he's neither atm

[Bradandez]

I dislike modern athmoshere of Nintendo Network I prefer classic atmoshpere when they launch newspaper magazines called Nintendo Power not miiverse and no Tomodachi life.

Fuck you. Tomodachi Life and Miiverse are great.

[gamerz31w]

Stijn banned me and Florian Himsl dislike my vector sprites and artworks colourization of nickadoo aka nick stadler