Misheard Or Generally Stupid Sayings!

[Steo]

OK so I thought for the fun of it, we could share stupid things either ourselves, a family member or a friend have either misheard or just said. If you can't think of anything you can make up misheard ones for the fun of it, but make sure it rhymes with what you said if it's made up. Label it as "Myth" if it's made up

I'll start with last month, my Nanny walked into my room as I was playing Rayman Origins. She said "what game are you playing", I clearly replied "Rayman", then she says "Mario?"

[The Jonster]

Ooh here's one I might have.

So I asked my friend what he thought a fifo stood for and he said, "Fun Is For Others."

[Steo]

I killed a moth a few years ago and it left a brown mark on the ceiling. I said "it turned into a piece of brown on the ceiling". My mother said "What? Morca seelie?"

[The Jonster]

I once showed my mom a poop emoji and she thought it was chocolate soft-serve so she kept sending her friends poop emojis whenever they planned to go get ice cream.

[Steo]

I was going for a shower one day and I said to my mother "is there any towels?" She replied "What? Simon Cowell?"

That's a myth but it wouldn't surprise me if she said that

[The Jonster]

Here's a dumb saying that quite a few people I know should follow:

A very wise man once said, “it is better to let people think you are stupid than to open your mouth and prove you are stupid”

[Steo]

What about "it's always in the last place you look". Well you're hardly going to find what you were looking for and then keep feckin' looking

Edit: Maybe that can be the use for this thread, criticise why a saying is stupid

[The Jonster]

That could work, let's see how that goes then.

"Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish."

How do you drown a fish?

[R4Y_ANC3L]

I could Remember the time in school that I said "sorry" to a girl After accidentally prompting or bumping into her. She misheard me and thought that I called her a "pussy".

[Steo]

When I was 11 years old, the teacher was out of the room one day when I was in school. Someone threw a pen and it hit one of the lights. These lights were the big florescent tube ones and they had covers also. Another teacher just happened to walk by at the exact moment and just burst in "hey hey hey! How'd you like it if the light fell down and hit someone in the head!? Yeah, you'd feel like a fool altogether, wouldn't you?"

Needless to say the entire class found it hilarious and to this day, I'll never understand how a pen would knock a light down. This is a teacher by the way that was teaching us stuff. No wonder I'm stupid

[The Jonster]

I remember my parents saying this to me once when I called someone stupid.

Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter.

[Ambidextroid]

I've always thought the saying "head over heels" was pretty stupid. Your head is normally over your heels after all, unless you're been in some sort of horrific accident.

[Steo]

Yeah and another one is to "bend over backwards". I personally wouldn't try it

[The Jonster]

Ooh there's also "Break a leg"! I wouldn't do it personally if doing it on a literal sense.

[Steo]

"Your eyes are bigger than your belly". I know what it means, but imagine someone actually having a belly that small or eyes that big

[The Jonster]

I read this awhile back and thought this was funny.

"Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands."

[Steo]

"Drive safely!"

What so if you don't say that, is the person going to go way over the speed limit on the wrong side of the road and close their eyes?

[R4Y_ANC3L]

Today, I actually heard a guy who was on his cellphone while boarding the bus that I was inside of on my way home saying "Do you have the 'Tings for me?!"

[Steo]

That sounds like how the Irish talk

What about when someone rings you and says something like "are you awake?"

[Aaron]

When I come home and my dad's home he sometimes asks this question: "Did you get ran over?"



Of course he's only joking when he says it