Misheard Or Generally Stupid Sayings!

[Steo]

What about when someone is "on the money", are they literally standing on your fiver?

[The Jonster]

I don't literally mean I'll cut my head open and give you my brain when I say I'm gonna "Give you a piece of my mind"

[Steo]

If we can include stupid things people do, then what about the way we have magic hands? We often see people put their hands in front of their mouths while whispering to one person as if their hand is going to block the sound. We often see people put their hands to their ear to say "what!?" as if it's a hearing aid. We often see people say who's that and then put their hand over their eyes as if it's a pair of binoculars.

[Aaron]

Another stupid thing is how we say we have a "runny nose". It's stupid because you don't say you have a "runny eye" when you're crying for example

[The Jonster]

I never really liked the saying, "the early bird gets the worm". Does that mean if I wake up early i literally have to get worms?

[R4Y_ANC3L]

I am actually going to be serious about this, though.

I always take time to think about this saying which is "Whatever kills me, makes me stronger."
It is such an underrated statement, Don't ya think?

[Steo]

I've heard that saying so many times and I always think about it too

So we have 2 house dogs and just now, I was saying "what's that?" to the dog we have called Jack. He was looking at me all confused and turning his head side to side, so I said to my mother "Jack's turning his head sideways 'cause I said what's that", she said "What?" and I repeated it. After that she said "alright... I thought you said he dropped a tenner on the stairs."

Like what the feck is that? The dog has money?

[The Jonster]

So I looked this up a minute ago, and I thought it always made sense to say this:
"You've got another thing coming!"

Though apparently this could also be correct and apparently it's the original according to the Oxford English Dictionary:
"You've got another think coming!"

[Steo]

You're skating on thin ice. Who would actually skate on thin ice with a lake below it anyway

[Aaron]

That reminded me of this part in All Star by Smash Mouth:

… Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire, how about yours?...

[Steo]

And now all I can think of is Shrek

[The Jonster]

The saying of
"No shirt, no shoes, no service!" is also pretty dumb in my opinion.

So we basically have to wear everything except short/pants/etc. to get service?

[Steo]

One of the most stupid sarcastic ones I ever heard is "that's so funny, I forgot to laugh". What is that like

[R4Y_ANC3L]

I don't approve of people who used the Bible as an excuse to get away with what they did or said.
They are like "It is in the Bible!" and don't care about they did afterwards even if it was a Dumb or bad thing to do.

Christianity is such a hypocritical religion...

[The Jonster]

When I was younger my mom would constantly compare to me other people and give me the excuse of “I’m just giving you an example.”

How is comparing me to other people an example l. That basically puts me down and lowers my self-esteem!

[Aaron]

When I was younger my mom would constantly compare to me other people and give me the excuse of “I’m just giving you an example.”
Like how is comparing me to other people an example that just puts me down and lowers my self-esteem!

Yeah, I hate when parents do that, it's the most pointless thing they do and also, it's very degrading like you said. Like I don't care if my other classmates got an A on that stupid test, it doesn't prove their actual knowledge!

Another one is when people say "pot calling the kettle black". Like neither pots nor kettles are black! I just don't get the logic

[Steo]

Another one is when people say "pot calling the kettle black". Like neither pots nor kettles are black! I just don't get the logic

I say that and that's what you say to a hypocrite that accuses you of something when they're fully guilty of the accusation themselves.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_pot_c ... ttle_black

Though not all pots are black so I guess there's still some humour to be had if you look at it in that sense

[Aaron]

Yeah, I get the whole being a hypocrite thing, the whole "pot calling the kettle black" thing just didn't make sense to me at first but now I see, thanks.

By the way, yeah, that's why I said it

[Steo]

Sorry, I thought you didn't get it

I actually used to think it was being racist at first until I realised that couldn't possibly make any sense

[PluMGMK]

I don't approve of people who used the Bible as an excuse to get away with what they did or said.
They are like "It is in the Bible!" and don't care about they did afterwards even if it was a Dumb or bad thing to do.

Christianity is such a hypocritical religion...

They do say that Satan can quote Scripture. Which is a fairly wise saying, really! Even if that also happens in the Bible at one point…

Sorry, I thought you didn't get it

I actually used to think it was being racist at first until I realised that couldn't possibly make any sense

I think originally it wasn't just "black", but "black-<word beginning with 'a' and rhyming with 'sparse'>", referring to the fact that both pots and (non-electric) kettles have their bottoms burned over time due to sitting on the hob. In that sense it's not racist at all.

Now I'm here, well, I think a lot of people here know that it drives me up the walls when people get the expression "I couldn't care less" backwards (I don't even want to say the incorrect version!). And it even happens here sometimes.