Corrupt a wish!

[BlueGoop222]

Granted but everyone starts singing and talking about it all the time

I wish I could skip any day of my life but remember what happened

[Greengoop]

Granted but your memories have a 27.88% chance of being made up

I wish autocorrect was more helpful

[BlueGoop222]

Granted but only for words that are easy to spell

I wish I could uncorrupt wishes

[Greengoop]

Granted, but only by 1%

I wish Bluegoop222 reached 120 posts today

[BlueGoop222]

Granted but I get my 120th post on a different forum

I wish I could control the weather

[dr_st]

Everybody does, but by a sheer mixup instead of "Thick of it", every station plays "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke.

I wish Lenovo still made Thinkpads with classic 7-row keyboards.

[Greengoop]

Granted, but the demand is so high their production leaves hundreds of faults

I wish I could control what time I woke up

[dr_st]

Granted, but you wake up to the same day (Groundhog Day) every time.

I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season, put some money on the Cubbies.

[Greengoop]

Granted, but nobody gets the reference

I wish pain felt nice instead

[dr_st]

Granted, but you got addicted to pain and died from internal injuries.

I wish I knew how to skate well enough to play ice hockey.

[Giant Chicken]

Granted, but everyone else hogs the puck for the entire game so you never get any action.

I wish I could pet wild animals without them trying to run away or kill me.

[dr_st]

Granted, but now they all follow you home and devour your neighbors.

I wish I could speak every language on the planet.

[Greengoop]

Granted, but you weren’t talk how to speak sophisticatedly, so you end up bad-mouthing everyone and get beaten up

I wish I had a real gun

[BlueGoop222]

Granted but you can’t buy ammunition

I wish I could control chairs

[Greengoop]

Granted, but the only thing you can do with them is inconvenience other people

I wish I could pause time

[BlueGoop222]

Granted but you can’t unpause it

I wish I had infinite butter

[Greengoop]

Granted, but it’s margarine

I wish people didn’t like beg on YouTube

[Giant Chicken]

Granted, now everyone begs for dislikes instead!

I wish my cat would stop meowing so loudly.

[Greengoop]

Granted, and don’t ask about that tape on its mouth

I wish Bluegoop222 returned

[BlueGoop222]

Granted but I have to go in 3 years

I wish I could temporarily turn people into socks