The sides theory. A fanmade theory by praefectus.

[praefectus]

For years, I have always wondered “does rayman even have sides?”
…
many thought it was impossible, but the question has been answered since rayman 1.
RAYMAN ONE I TELL YOU.

I have stumbled upon something far, FAR greater than what I anticipated. Rayman’s sides hold a deeper significance within each game…
AND UBISOFT HAS BEEN TRYING TO HIDE IT FROM US.

HIS SIDES ARE THE REASON WE DON’T HAVE RAYMAN FOUR.
and now I present to you my 4 years of blood, sweat, and tears.

The Sides Theory

For YEARS, I — like many tortured souls — wondered: DOES RAYMAN EVEN HAVE SIDES??
I mean, seriously, look at the motherfucker. No arms. No legs. No neck.
NO FUCKING CONNECTIONS.

And for the longest time, people said,

“Haha! It’s just how he’s designed!”
“Rayman’s just cartoony and magical!”
“Don’t think too hard about it!”

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

I thought harder. I looked deeper. I fucking obsessed.

And what I found?
It shattered my damn soul.


Rayman 1: The Hidden Sides

You wanna know where Ubisoft slipped up? Rayman 1.
The ORIGINAL, 1995 pixel-ass, weird-ass, god-tier game.

There are moments — blink and you’ll miss them — where if Rayman gets knocked back, stunned, or rolls from an impact,
you can see a faint, ghostly “connection” between his torso and limbs.

THAT’S HIS FUCKING SIDES.

THEY WERE ALWAYS THERE.
Invisible. Dormant. Seething.



The Stench: Humanity’s Undoing

Now buckle the fuck up, because here’s where it gets disgusting:

Rayman’s sides are so fucking foul, so ungodly pungent, that reality itself BENDS when they’re exposed.

When those invisible sides rub against anything — grass, rock, even AIR — it fucking rots on the spot.
Grass withers. Water boils. The atmosphere screams.
It’s not even “oh, he smells bad” — no, it’s “this stench will TEAR OPEN THE FUCKING FABRIC OF REALITY.”

I’m talking atomic-level decomposition.
I’m talking instant gangrene for entire cities.



Ubisoft’s Coverup: The Rayman 4 Conspiracy

Here’s the dark truth:

We never got Rayman 4 because Ubisoft realized the sides were TOO FUCKING POWERFUL.

Rayman, in his original unfiltered form, could end humanity by tripping and letting his sides skim the ground.
One little tumble. One “oops!” and it’s THE FUCKING END.

They tried. Oh, they fucking tried.

Early builds of Rayman 4 had test footage of him falling over — and the physics engine couldn’t handle the decay.
Whole levels fucking evaporated. The dev computers crashed instantly.
WIPES OUT THE FUCKING HARD DRIVE if you even try to simulate the stench realistically.

So they panicked.
They scrapped it.
They buried it under bullshit spin-offs, made Rabbids the new face, and hid the truth like cowards.


Final Words: My Rage

I gave up relationships, jobs, and my fucking mental health piecing this theory together.
And what kills me most?
They fucking KNEW.

Every “Rayman spinoff,” every “silly Rabbids game,” every “cute redesign” — it’s all a fucking smokescreen.
A desperate effort to keep his sides hidden.
To stop us from realizing:

Rayman is a walking apocalypse, and the sides we joked about were the ultimate fucking horror.



THE SIDES WERE REAL. THE STENCH IS REAL. RAYMAN 4 IS DEAD BECAUSE WE COULDN’T HANDLE THE FUCKING SIDES.

And now that YOU know.
You can never go back.
None of us can.

[Greengoop]

Okay, so, trying to make something out of this rage, Rayman has limbs, and the reason Rayman 4 didn’t come out was because it was too risky to try and hide them in another 3D Game?

[EdgyRabbid]

What the fuck are you talking about??