Survive the above user's attack!

[Rsandee]

I follow Yoshi's lead and commit tax fraud.

You're a braver than I, that's how they got Al Capone after all.

I then behead you with a violin string!

I take off my head myself and start playing ball with it instead, inspired by Rayman removing his torso.

I put tiny little lego stones in all of your shoes, even if you're still wearing them somehow.

[Greengoop]

I walk through the pain and decide to start painmaxxing.

I then make you read the entirety of The You Game!

[RayGamer99]

I simply go off of the RPC.

I then throw you onto a bed of Sonic 1 spikes!

[Giant Chicken]

Since Sonic 1 is a 2d game, I simply fall to the side, landing to the side of them!

I then get a giant frying pan and throw it at you!

[RayGamer99]

I jump onto the pan and slide along on it like it’s Rayman 1.

I then rush towards you on the pan and punch you square in the face!

[Giant Chicken]

I walk up to a cliff and drop the pan before you can reach me!

I than also rain down bombs at you as you fall down!

[RayGamer99]

The bombs hit the ground before I do, propelling me back up to the cliff!

I then rocket down from the sky and slam onto you!

[The Jonster]

I use the Leptys Scepter I have to whack your rocket away! Then I throw it at you because it only had one use!

[Magelin]

Unaware to both of you, i was hiding in the bushes. I catch the Leptys Sceptre, then crawl to you to bonk you with it!

[Greengoop]

I’m not keen on spamming the forums for record day, so I run from the bonk thread and into the pizza thread

I then pump a bottle of soap in the back of your throat until you can barely breathe!

[RayGamer99]

I squeeze my neck so hard that the soap shoots out of my mouth!

I then tie you to a stick and roast you over an open fire!

[Greengoop]

Luckily I came prepared with my mouth full of water, I extinguish the fire as you turn me over!

I then bring out a light arrow and pierce your intestines with it!

[RayGamer99]

Before the arrow can reach my intestines, I use an ACME Reflect-o-Mirror to deflect the arrow...

...and send it right in your direction, piercing right through your skull and brain!

[Greengoop]

As I am the light, I only let it heal me.

I shoot you a menacing stare and you die of fear.

[Hugo]

I play a Rickrolled video invalidating your last action and saving RayGamer99.

Then I ask you if your intestines are really a string of sausages, stunning you in an existential crisis.

[Greengoop]

I’m not stupid enough to think they are, keeping me alive.

I then force you to watch videos “confirming” the flat earth.

[Hugo]

A globe is simply flatness that leads back to itself, so I am unaffected

I will let you win this round because I'm not sure my intended counter attack sounded a bit dark when I wrote it out

[Greengoop]

I force you to type it up, giving you a one year ban!

I then type it up myself, causing brutal damage to you!!

[RayGamer99]

I quickly put up a rubber wall in front of me. The counter bounces off of the wall and hits you, dealing 230823509823 damage! And now YOU'VE got a two-year ban!

I choose not to attack you any further, since you've probably already died from the post's damage.

[Rsandee]

Thank you I will take full advantage of that.

I will serve the next person a Japanese pufferfish, which might or might not be safe to eat as only traditional Sushi chefs who have been cooking them for many many years have the ability to fillet them legally as they're incredibly poisonous.