The 'What If' Game

[PluMGMK]

Eventually we'd starve to death? Or at least, we wouldn't post enough to make a decent stab at the record

What if GLaDOS really was used to de-ice US Navy ships?

[The Jonster]

Then you could be a whole band in one with your amazing singing!

What if the river suddenly appeared?

[Rsandee]

Then the orcs at Isengard would flee in terror and Saruman would lose his precious industry.

What if freedom were free?

[The Jonster]

Then what's the dom for? Nothing!

What if Rayman didn't exist?

[PluMGMK]

Something else would exist that brought us all together in a different but similar online space instead. It is destiny that we all found each other, and continue to find each other

What if astrology were real?

[The Jonster]

Then we could be able to read our fortunes easily and I’d be rich!

What if I went to bed now?

[PluMGMK]

You'd oversleep and end up not contributing to RD as much as you want

What if I went online shopping in the middle of RD?

[Rsandee]

Then you'd be unable to buy anything using tings.

What if you gave me all your tings

[The Jonster]

Then you'd reach your next rank instantly!

What if I took over someone else's account?

[Rsandee]

Then I would want to be in on the scam.

What if Rayman 4 were cancelled and instead we'd get Rayman 5, 6, 7 and 8?

[The Jonster]

People would ask about the mysterious disappearnace of 4.

What if I dropped my phone in the toilet?

[PluMGMK]

I mean, isn't that pretty much what happened?

What if Indiana Jones and Tennessee Williams were the same person?

[The Jonster]

I mean, isn't that pretty much what happened?

What if Indiana Jones and Tennessee Williams were the same person?

Oh did i mention that story before??

Then we'd have Indianassee Jonams.

What if Patty wakes up and dies today?

[PluMGMK]

I mean, isn't that pretty much what happened?

What if Indiana Jones and Tennessee Williams were the same person?

Oh did i mention that story before??

Nope, it was a ninja case. I meant the thing about skipping Rayman 4

[The Jonster]

Oh I see, just a random case of ninja posting on RD

Anyhoos, what if Patty wakes up and dies?

[Pirez]

Then there won't be anymore Patty cakes.

What if Brittons were actually Nippons?

[SilverLum]

British people already are like the Japanese people of Europe. They are polite to your face while secretly wishing you'd leave them alone, and they say "innit" in place of "desu".

What if caffeine was outlawed as the drug it technically is?

[Master]

I find innits a bit of an urban thing. I don't think I come across innit as much in the north, though I spose innits more just traditional roadman speak than anything else, and that's all over. Int'it more like for me though.

I suspect productivity amongst business work would substantially tank, though perhaps rates of insomnia would also diminish?

What if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?

[Steo]

I often just used "innit" as a joke, but I feel only certain parts of Britain even say it. Even in Ireland, the sayings vary. People here might see someone and say something like "alright" instead of "hi". If you go down the country to somewhere like Waterford, you get "well boi" instead.

People would start getting bigger very quickly and wonder what's going on, even though they wondered why it tasted like Mc Donald's.

What if we didn't have taxes?

[Master]

Innits a very urban term, so it does get said by a lot of folks all over, but it's very much of the same vein as when people use cockney slang to represent Britspeak as a whole. To add to your example, "alright's" a common greeting, but from where I came from, an "ey up" was also rather common.

Good luck getting those potholes fixed! (...wait a second)

What if (I accidentally submit a post forgetting to finish this sentence and have to edit it retroactively, and then decide to in a sentence claiming as such in a totally clever bit of meta posting)