What i think of Rayman 1 bosses PART 3: Mr. Saxual

[Xenon]

I should, but I just haven't got round to looking for it. It's an old game, after all.

[Holy Crap]

Yeah, but as I said, you could easily get it for free on an emulator. There are emulators for GBA, Ps1 and Jaguar, so you should be able to get a R1 ROM for one of those.

[Xenon]

Well, maybe. I haven't got round to it yet. But yeah, I should as I don't know very much about the game or its characters.

[Holy Crap]

The bosses aren't very imaginitively named though.

[Xenon]

I know. I know the names of the bosses, I just don't know much about them.

[stan423321]

YouTube helped?

[El Dango]

That's because El Dalangiol isn't posting here. Well, not at the moment he isn't, for any case.

You can't expect me to be here all the time, Xenenonomono099.

[spiraldoor]

Can't wait for Mr Sax. Wonder if it'll have anything to do with his..."hole"...and the shape of those..."notes"...he shoots out of it...

[El Dango]

You're giving me inspiration...
Oh, and i can tell you that the next episode will have something to do with the American Pie movies.
But i still need some more ideas.

[spiraldoor]

Idea: Mr Sax uses those "notes" to reproduce.

[stan423321]

You're giving me inspiration...
Oh, and i can tell you that the next episode will have something to do with the American Pie movies.
But i still need some more ideas.

****, that means there would be nothing funny.

[El Dango]

Why? Because of American Pie?

[Holy Crap]

Are you going to do R2/3 bosses too?

[stan423321]

Why? Because of American Pie?

Yes, I prefer apple pie.

[El Dango]

Are you going to do R2/3 bosses too?

I don't know. There is a small chance that i will, but i want to finish the R1 bosses first.

[El Dango]

Sorry for double posting.


In the last episode, i uncovered the deepest, darkest secrets about Moskito, and used them against him as PWNage. Now, Moskito is trying to find me and kill me, which he almost did. Nut luckily, i managed to get away. Now, allready hunted by one of the bosses, i dare writing about the next boss. A giant instrument, that could crush me with ease. But no matter what, i will continue. I FEAR NO INSTRUMENT!!



Let us begin...

Mr. Sax! The biggest saxophone ever! Or at least, the biggest saxophone yet…
Okay, let’s begin. The first thing i noticed about Sax is, that he is very slow. I’ve never had less problems running away from a boss. And i actually wonder why I ran away, instead of just walking. I know he is a saxophone, but I expected him to be at least a little bit faster. A snail with its ass glued to the floor could run away from this slowpoke.

I also noticed how easy he is, while fighting him*. He is the only boss that didn’t give me any trouble. I didn’t lose a single live, unlike with the other bosses. In fact, i only got hit ONCE! Even Bzzit managed to hit me at least twice! I mean WTF!? Did he fail the Game Boss Academy or something??? Maybe the problems is his attacks... I mean, he shoots notes out of his... whatever it is... i just call it his ass. Yep, he shoots notes out of his ass... Eew...
I wonder why he even uses such a lame attack, that his enemies can use to hit him with. Stupid.

But hey, i couldn't expect a saxophone to be a smartass, yet he is more stupid that you should expect from a boss. I mean, after you beat him, he dances!! WHAT DAh FACK!?!?! He dances?!?!? It's like: "Oh, you just kicked my ass and now i'm hurt and i need an ambulance and Mr. Dark will fire me and my life will be ruined, but what the heck, it was fun, let's dance, wheeeeeeeee!!!"
Three words: What an IDIOT! If you told him his IQ, he would probably ask: "10 out of how much?"

And where does this guy come from? Who is his parents? How was he born? Well, i have a theory. It comes from the movie 'American Pie: Band Camp". Have anyone seen that? If not, then go see it and come back later. Okay, you don't need to, but then i'm just gonna spoil it for ya'!
Anyways, remember that scene where this guy fucks an obo? Pretty disturbing, but i believe that was how Mr. Sax came to life, only that it was a giant who did it with a saxophone, creating a giant saxophone. See the logic?

Mr. Sax has a problem. He thinks he is so saxy, and that he can impress the girls by shooting notes out of his saxophone-ass. How did he get that idea? Oh, wait, i told him.
Shit, i can't believe he believed me. He is so freakin' lame. I think a giant bananaphone would be a better boss. We could call him Mr. Ban. That would also be a good name for a mean moderator.

Am i finished? You bet i am! ..........Not!
I've written a song about him:

"Mr. Sax
Mr. Sax
He's the biggest moron i've met
Can he play - normal tunes?
No he can't - He's too dumb!
Look oooouuut
His name is Mr. Sax"

That's it.
Next target: The cheapest bastard ever - Mr. STONE!

[spiraldoor]

That thing's his ass?

I thought it was his...?

[El Dango]

What's up with the " "?
I mean, i would use " ".

[spiraldoor]

" "doesn't look as suggestive as " "...

But a front-ass was creative of you, I'll give you that.

[El Dango]

Thank you.