Jokes topic

[ParadoxJuice]

How many dumb blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[Sabertooth]

One. Because blondes are competent people just like you and me.

[ParadoxJuice]

That was actually the punchline XD

[Chilly Willy]

One. Because blondes are competent people just like you and me.

Yeah, right. Pull the other one.

Could be worse... could be an Aggie!

A graduate received his acceptance letter to Texas A&M and was so excited, he rushed right out to the store to replace his wardrobe with something more befitting an Aggie. He rushed up to the clerk and started down his list.

"I want some maroon shirts, maroon pants, maroon underwear, a maroon hat, maroon socks, maroon shoes..."

The clerk gave him a strange look and replied. "You're going to Texas A&M, aren't you?"

The guy was embarrassed. "Could you tell by the color of the stuff I'm buying?"

The clerk looked non-plussed. "No, this is a hardware store."

[MrBadGuy]

Don't have time to read that ^

[ParadoxJuice]

Gotta post fast on record day.

Quick, distract people with long posts!

[Xenon]

Nobody will read long posts on record day.

[Rsandee]

I have a good joke.
Did you hear of the guy that got his head ripped off?

He's better now.

[ParadoxJuice]

Three men of different nationalities are on a bridge. The first two act smart and the third makes a mockery of his fellow countrymen by being foolish.

[Chilly Willy]

Knock, knock... you suck!

Really, what's with all the lame jokes? Being "record day" is no excuse!

[Sabertooth]

How do you screw an eighth grader?

You call his mother.

[ParadoxJuice]

There once was an X from place B,
Who satisfied predicate P,
Who did Action C to Object Y
Resulting in Circumstance D

[MrBadGuy]

Hahahahaaa

[ParadoxJuice]

Ba doom tsh.

[Danone]

Post jokes here. No ugly, hateful, gross, etc.

Why are there more robberies during a full moon than any other moon?

So the thiefs can see what they are stealing!

Go on tryit!

viewtopic.php?t=6263

[ParadoxJuice]

Three men walk into a

OMG I HIT 1700

[Danone]

"Doctor, doctor, I have suicidal tendencies. What should I do?"

"Pay me this instant."

[Rayrobi]

A bunny goes into a meat shop.
- Bear, a liter of meat!
- Dear bunny, when you come to a shop, you have to say hello, and that's kilogramm, and not liter. Go out and try again.
The bunny goes out, then comes in.
- Hey bear, a liter of meat!
- Ohh...bunny... i go out and i show you how you have to do.
He goes out then comes in.
- Good day, bunny, a kg of meat, please.
The bunny starts laughing.
Bear, you idiot, you forgot to bring a bottle!

[Rulez]

Oh this one is classic:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”. The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Haha LOL

[Danone]

How do you fit 100 pikachu's on a bus?
Poke 'em on!

This one was funny