Fanfic: The Rayman Identity

[Matyuv]

little kids need parents, jona is their father.

Lol, I can imagine it now, Jona the father

poor kids.

[Angel]

Indeed
*imagines half of the kids being called Jona junior, or th3()ne junior (shivers)*

[Matyuv]

hahaha, jona junior.
haha.

[th3()ne]

Indeed
*imagines half of the kids being called Jona junior, or th3()ne junior (shivers)*

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I can imagine 'Jona junior' as Angel is female, Jona being male. Life works its self out.... and a few hormones

[Xenon]

Hehehe, Jona kiddies. How cute.

[Canard WC]

Jona JuniorGirl is. Him StinkyWinky. (thx Hendrax)

[Hunchman801]

It's no use repeating Hendrax's quotes, as they're stupid

[Angel]

Indeed
*imagines half of the kids being called Jona junior, or th3()ne junior (shivers)*

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I can imagine 'Jona junior' as Angel is female, Jona being male. Life works its self out.... and a few hormones

Dream on boyo!!!

[blank]

I'm finally logged in now! I do alsways log in, vut something happens! Well, here's the story.

Chapter 2 Part 2

Rayman was in a new world. It was dark, and there was an enormous palace. And quite a lot of hoodlums after him.

Rayman ran as fast as his feet could carry him. He used one of the hoodlum guns he had picked up earlier, and blasted a hoodlum offf a speeder. He zoomed towards a gate-bridge, but when he went near, lasers started firing at him from the top of the palace. And Andr'e was watching, as Rayman could see. Andr'e was smiling, and getting dressed into his hoodlum-king outfit. Andr'e had expected this to happen. He was planning it.

Rayman suddenly jumped off his speeder, and it crashed into the palace, and many hoodlums were sent flying.

Globox's kids, now much older, ran towards Rayman.
"Rayman, where is our daddy?"THey asked, tears flowing.
Rayman paused, unsure of what to say.
"He...is...ummm....a bit ill."Rayman tried to smile, but he couldn't. He just walked off, and walked into the shadows.

Chapter 3 - Polokus

Rayman walked past the many hoodlums. He had just found a hoodlum suit, so he could walk around not being noticed. For a while.

Inside a building, Polokus was sitting down, hoodlums surrounding him. In his mind, there were no hoodlums, and trees surrounded him. But his mind was being corrupted by the power of Andr'e and Polokus' evil twin, Polokeyum. He knew he would soon be turned evil.

Rayman was outside, thinking about Globox. He thought about him for many minutes, until, eventually, his clothes got caught on a statue of Andr'e. And since his clothes were too baggy for him, they just came right off. And the hoodlums noticed. And set off the alarm.

Rayman tried to hide, but there was no use. There were hoodlums everywhere. Actually, there was nobody else, except Globox's kids and Globox's wife, Uglette. Rayman realised this must be Hoodlum City. But thenhe thought about how power crazy Andr'e was. He knew it was Andr'e City.

Polokus could feel Rayman was close, so he used every ounce of his remaining energy to fire a beam of light. It knocked out the hoodlums surrounding him, and it showed Rayman where to go.

Rayman rushed into the building his heart pounding.
"P...polokus?"Rayman didn't understand.
"Oh, yes, it is me."Polokus smiled.

[Hendrax]

Yeah Blanky you're really not a rikiki, you fanfic is very good

[The Knocker]

It depends on your own fantasy if wether or not you like it...I don't like this chapter, but the chapter before was great!

[Xenon]

This chapter is okay, but there are a few grammer mistakes in it...

[Xenon]

[Topic moved to Fanfics subforum. (<Name>)]

[Newray]

This chapter is okay, but there are a few grammer mistakes in it...

Grammer mistakes doesn't really matter me, but yes, the fanfic is great!

[Xenon]

No, it doesn't really matter. At least I can read it.

[jinzo]

But the forum has a rule for! What wants to say that there is infringement! I laugh

[Hunchman801]

Great English!

[TalibanReunited]

..

[th3()ne]

indeed

[Matyuv]

reunited