Friendship, love et cetera

[ikke471]

I donnu love, I just make it

Raylex.... Please stop being so awesome

[Adsolution]

Y'know what annoys me a lot in P-C, and forums in general but there's an unusually high concentration here, is people who throw around the word 'love' far too liberally. I've noticed loads of young people talk about girls from their schools who they claim to be in love with, yet never even seem to talk to them much, and to me this poses a contradiction, as to love someone you need to have a deep understanding of their personality, so perhaps this 'love' that you feel is not love for that person, but instead love for an idealised version of that person that you imagine, or even a yearning for the idea of love, or physical companionship. Just something to think about and maybe even save you some emotional "turmoil"

Also in my experience some younger people confuse fancying someone with love as well, hard to believe but true :/
/rant

Every word of that was accurate. Not much more to say.

[Danone]

I donnu love, I just make it

You rock man.

[Adsolution]

I have a little problem of my own here, it's not big, but I'm a bit confused on what to do:

I've been producing a band for the last year and a half, and we've gotten to be good friends with one another. They've always wanted to eventually get into the top-40's, and last year our agreement was that we would work together no matter what. I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but the listeners as well as the band themselves have praised my production very much, and they even started paying me because they thought I deserved it. However, last week they told me in an overly casual way that they met a higher-up producer who could get them on the top-40's in no time (this means I'm of no use anymore), which was a major let down.

We are still friends, but it seems like they broke their promise and sold out. I can't fully blame them, since the thought would be absolutely thrilling to them, but they jeoperdsed the promise they had been preeching ever since we began.

Should I bring it up, or should I just let life go on as normal and hopelessly wait for a reconcilliation?

[DesLife]

I can perfectly understand that, but as you said you can't blame them. You should keep in touch with them and see how they're doing. But well if that truly hurt you, bringing it up in a convo should make you feel better about it.

[mastermatt56]

Hey, can somebody give me some advice? My girlfriend seems like she is always happy, always full of life, all the time. This often is the case, but I know it is sometimes just an act. However, I don't know how to make sure she is alright. She doesn't want me to "be upset," so she won't tell me when there's a problem, and denies it when I ask her. I really care for her, and I want her to be happy, but I don't know how to help her when she won't even tell me there's a problem. I'd appreciate any and all advice I can get. Thank you!

[MrBadGuy]

Get her drunk, that usually opens people up

[El Dango]

It sure does!

[Acarr]

Maybe there isn't a problem....?

[mastermatt56]

Maybe there isn't a problem....?

I wish that was the case, but I know something's wrong. I just don't know what

[Serza5]

Maybe it's that she doesn't want to worry you or anyone else? Or perhaps she doesn't want loads of people bothering her about it? I would leave it be until either she opens up to you about it or her behavior starts to get really concerning.

[mastermatt56]

Maybe it's that she doesn't want to worry you or anyone else? Or perhaps she doesn't want loads of people bothering her about it? I would leave it be until either she opens up to you about it or her behavior starts to get really concerning.

Yeah, she's said before that she doesn't want me to worry about her. I just want her to be as happy as humanly possible.
Ok, thank you. I really appreciate your help.

[Acarr]

Maybe it's that she doesn't want to worry you or anyone else? Or perhaps she doesn't want loads of people bothering her about it? I would leave it be until either she opens up to you about it or her behavior starts to get really concerning.

Yeah, she's said before that she doesn't want me to worry about her. I just want her to be as happy as humanly possible.
Ok, thank you. I really appreciate your help.

Well you don't wanna seem creepy about it either so just be patient. Maybe she finds talking to other people easier like family/close friends... I find it hard to talk to my boyfriend about problems.

[mastermatt56]

Maybe it's that she doesn't want to worry you or anyone else? Or perhaps she doesn't want loads of people bothering her about it? I would leave it be until either she opens up to you about it or her behavior starts to get really concerning.

Yeah, she's said before that she doesn't want me to worry about her. I just want her to be as happy as humanly possible.
Ok, thank you. I really appreciate your help.

Well you don't wanna seem creepy about it either so just be patient. Maybe she finds talking to other people easier like family/close friends... I find it hard to talk to my boyfriend about problems.

Yeah, I know. You're right. I just hate being unable to help her.

[Xenon]

Maybe it's just me, but I completely disagree with this "you might creep her out" notion. If you have a problem, you should be able to consult your girlfriend without worrying you might creep her out.

If you live in fear of someone losing interest in you, there's no point in being in a relationship at all, in my opinion.

[Adsolution]

Maybe it's just me, but I completely disagree with this "you might creep her out" notion. If you have a problem, you should be able to consult your girlfriend without worrying you might creep her out.

If you live in fear of someone losing interest in you, there's no point in being in a relationship at all, in my opinion.

Yep. Shrouding things in mystery is the last thing you would ever want, in my opinion. It just makes things uncomfortable. If you're truly in a relationship, neither of you should be creeped out by the question.

[mastermatt56]

Maybe it's just me, but I completely disagree with this "you might creep her out" notion. If you have a problem, you should be able to consult your girlfriend without worrying you might creep her out.

If you live in fear of someone losing interest in you, there's no point in being in a relationship at all, in my opinion.

Yep. Shrouding things in mystery is the last thing you would ever want, in my opinion. It just makes things uncomfortable. If you're truly in a relationship, neither of you should be creeped out by the question.

Well I don't think I'd creep her out as much as I'd annoy her. I don't know when caring about her becomes overprotective or just plain annoying

[Adsolution]

Are you usually overprotective?

[mastermatt56]

No, I'm not. But I don't want her to perceive my concern that way, and I have no way of knowing if she does or not.
Maybe I'm being overly-cautious here, I don't know

[Adsolution]

No, I'm not. But I don't want her to perceive my concern that way, and I have no way of knowing if she does or not.
Maybe I'm being overly-cautious here, I don't know

If you have her on Facebook or something, that's probably a better place to ask her than in person. It will probably be much easier and have a much lower chance of being awkward.