Corrupt a wish!

[Shrooblord]

Everything includes nothing. You get nothing.

I wish I was UbiSoft.

[Rayman fan2000]

UbiSoft is going to be blown up on the 2nd of november, 2016, which is when you're going to become a UbiSoft developer.
I wish I was a Kingdom Hearts character.

[Shrooblord]

You become the shittiest character ever to have existed and nobody plays you, to the extent of which he is so bad, that the developers call back the games from the production line and rerelease Kingdom Hearts without you in it. They also create a patch that supposedly removes you from previous versions of the game, but you are in fact such a turd that the patch that applies this remedy actually destroys the game and also the console the game was played on. You trickle out of the tv screen you just appeared on as the deluxest form of gelatinous drab the world has ever seen and burn through the floor of the player's house, right through the earth and end up in the planet's core, where all drablets of you collect themselves as not even the sheer heat of the core can destroy you - you're that bad - and clog up our planet's Heart, causing massive pressure buildups that create volcanoes to spell the end of the world as we know it. When the planet finally gives way to your absolute rubbish and explodes into a trillion meteorites, your goo travels the stars, imploding everything it comes in contact with until the point where you've succesfully annihilated all reality because of the extreme crap that was you.

I wish I was Prince Charming.

[GNineify]

Sure, you can be Prince Harming! I don't know about the C, but I guess it's not anything that important. Enjoy your new life as the prince of causing harm!

I wish everything was free.

[Rulez]

Okay, now every wild, dangerous caged animal is free and out to get you. Good luck!

I wish the next poster would not give me 1000 Tings.

[Shrooblord]

Indeed I won't. Instead, I get you banned from the RPC for soliciting Ting prostitution!

I wish I was in New York.

[Bradandez]

You get transported to year 3000. Welcome to New New York!

I wish this was bumped.

[Master]

Your request was granted, but now more members will return to corrupt the wishes of others.

I wish this thread was a genie.

[Snagglebee]

Then this thread would have get locked looong ago because a geenie allows only 3 wishes.

I wish every console in the world would be backup friendly and region free.

[Master]

And so it came to pass, that gaming companies revolted against such a development.

I want to have tea.

[Eredin]

The tea was made out of Venus Flytraps.

I wish I could be limbless like Rayman

[TFDS]

I want my Teensy Photographer rank back.

[Master]

You might have been able to do so, had you not broken the game, TFDs.
@Eredin, you become limbless, at the cost of living in a world where there is no magic to support you, alas, you are doomed to never walk or grab hold of anything again.

I wish I had a suit of futuristic armour.

[Bradandez]

The armor is actually robotic and takes over your body.

I wish for rain.

[TFDS]

I wish the "Lie to Me" thread will never be locked.

[Master]

It rains, yes. But it's not water that comes down from the sky, but the sky itself, say goodbye to breathable air!

I wish TFDs would learn how this thread works, and to lead, not read.

[Bradandez]

You become the leader of readers.

I wish for a wizard to be my roommate.

[Zikken]

You have a wizard as a roommate but he accidentally sets everything you love on fire.

I wish I could have a pet Compsognathus.

[Master]

You do, problem is, people have not heard of it, and are keen to take it away for...science...

I wish I couldn't corrupt wishes.

[Keane]

You won't. Instead you become a corrupt wish yourself.

I wish I didn't have to pack anymore bags.