Short Stories

[Rsandee]

I'm way too cynical to believe in such things.

[Haruka]

I know, I'm very ingenuous.

[saerleiya]

I don't have some short stories yet, but I will leave some comments :

Once upon a time, a young boy by the unfortunate name of Dick has grown up and realised his name essentially means "penis". The end.

As usual, TEH RULEZ STRIKES BAK!

BIG BIG BIG SKYSCRAPER I haven't read yet

Lol? Btw Neil Gaiman wrote this I read two of his books and tehy were very well done...

I read this in Tumblr in the other day, a true story, I think its a good sharing too:

"TEXT"

Omagad. So lovely ...

Who the hell writes these short stories and how much bullshit pie have they eaten beforehand?

Pies are good. Don't swear on pies!

[Shrooblord]

Time to reboot this. It's a story I wrote to a friend as a response to something she wrote me; it will therefore contain some references to happenings or events that seem a bit out-of-the-blue:

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The Monkey Elder

Long, long ago, there was an old monkey man. He was a very happy monkey man, and a very wise monkey man. Every other monkey in town looked up to him. Many came to him for wisdom and he would give them advice.
There was this one little monkey girl, who wanted to know what the difference was between bananas, apples and oranges. He sat there, thinking, long and hard after she had asked him, and finally came with an answer:
"An apple is tough to the core, like old man Monty from the mill. It can be very sweet at times, but sometimes it is sour. Oranges are round, like apples, and are reddish-orange too - and also they are hard on the outside. But they are very different to apples! They have a soft core, soft and mushy and sweet inside, like Father Bryan. And then there's bananas. Bananas look very different, have a different colour and taste very different - but peel away the outside, and there's a similar softness inside like in oranges. Everyone loves bananas, don't we now?"
The little girl monkey nodded.
"Now. Monkeys are like these fruit... are you an apple, an orange or a banana?"
"Most kids think I'm funny and weird, but they all really like to play with me. I'm a banana, right?"
"Very good, dear!"
And the old monkey man handed the little girl a banana from his fruit bowl as he waved her goodbye.

Then one day, a strange monkey came to his door. He was from another world, he said, and had a difficult choice to make: he had to choose between two worlds, but the old monkey man already knew all of this. He knew many things.
"It is a very difficult choice you have to make," he said to the monkey boy, "In both of the worlds you will be king. In the monkey world there aren't cookies but in the human world there aren't gupdies."
The young monkey thought long about this and left.

The next day, the young monkey returned. He had many questions, but the old monkey man kept silent. After a few minutes of staring at him, expecting the old man was just thinking, the young monkey exclaimed:
"Old man! Why do you not answer me?"
The old man shifted as he sat, then looked at the boy and replied:
"My answers will not help you, would they?"
"Of course they will! I came to you for help, so help me!"
"You can only help yourself."
"But I don't know the answer!"
"You will have to search for it yourself."
"I don't understand. Why won't you help me out? Don't you know what difficult choice lies before me?"
The old man only closed his eyes and bowed his head, listening to the door close as the young man left.

The young monkey travelled far and wide that day, and also the next, searching for something to give him the answer. He travelled to the woods of the apes and he found the ape-king, sitting on his throne of wood, surrounded by lovely ape-ladies. He told him his story and asked him for advice.
"If you stay here and be my friend, you will have all the lovely ladies you could ever desire."
The monkey boy thanked him for his words and left.
He came to the baboon-king in the hills and found him on his throne of stone, surrounded by majestical fruit everywhere, colourful and brilliant. The young monkey told him his tale and asked him for guidance.
"If you stay here and be my buddy, you will have all the fruit you could every wish for."
The monkey boy thanked him for his words and left.
Next, he found the house of the gorilla-king, high up in the mountains. The king sat there in his court, on his throne of gold, surrounded by beautiful art and coins everywhere. He told the king about his adventure and asked him for his help.
"If you stay here and be my ally, you will have all the riches of the world to your heart's content."
The monkey boy thanked him for his words and left.

He made his way back to the old man slowly, through the mountains, and the hills, and the woods of the ape-king. Finally, he sat down by a small lake under an apple tree. He stared into the water, thinking. Suddenly, a fruit fell from the skies and hit him square in the face. He looked up to see the old and wise monkey-man sitting in a branch, his hand stretched out, as if he had just let something go. Surprisingly agile for his age, he quickly made his way down the tree and stood next to the monkey boy. The boy looked up to him and said:
"I have been far and wide. I have asked the kings of this world and they have promised me great things."
The old man looked away into the distance.
"They promise me love and food and wealth. And in this world, there are those gupdy things that I so love."
The old man still did not reply. The young monkey took a bite of the apple. It tasted sour.
"But this world has no cookies."
The old man looked at him.
"I don't want to live in a world without cookies. I want to be human."
"See now?" the old man said, "You have searched for an answer and you have found it."
"But I didn't find it anywhere! I just came up with it myself!"
"Yes! You have found the answer within yourself," the old man said, touching the young boy's chest with his walking cane.
The old man took the apple from the ground, where the boy had thrown the bad fruit.
"You know monkeys are like three types of fruit: apples, bananas and oranges."
The young boy looked at him confused.
"You are like an apple: sour at first and hard too. But then you ripen and grow older, sweetening up and becoming softer. Then you are good, like this apple."
He gave the young monkey the apple and urged him to take a bite. The young boy was reluctant, but did so in the end. Surprised, he took another bite, because he found the apple had suddenly turned sweet!

"Thank you, old man!" he said, as he left, "I will go to the Wizard now and tell him of my choice!"
"Farewell, young king."
The old monkey man returned to his treehouse and stepped towards the fruit bowl, where now only one fruit lay: he picked up the orange, threw it into the air laughing and took a bite.

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[Keane]

Once upon a time Uncle Thomas didn't want to be an uncle anymore so he drowned his brother's children. He is now Thomas again. The end.

[Rulez]

But he was an unlce, not an uncle! D:

[Keane]

But he was an unlce, not an uncle! D:

You've seen nothing.

[Master]

There's tales to be given, and stories to be written, let your imaginations roam free once again!

[MLII]

once upon a time there was a peanut.

it was probably delicious.

the end. >U<

[incognito]

The story of a boy was bored.

He killed himself with a gun and he died.

THE END

[GNineify]

The way this topic is being abused is saddening.

[Indy]

The story of a boy was bored.

He killed himself with a gun and he died.

THE END

What kind of short story is that!? Are you trying to encourage- Oh, fuck that!
Look, the short story of yours isn't sounding right. This is how you do it right:

"Once upon a time, a RPC member named Incognito slaps shit and spams all over the place.
THE END"

[OCG]

"Once upon a time, a RPC named Incognito slaps shit. and spams all over the place.
THE END"

I like this story

[Indy]

Thank you. His short story put me off very badly.

[MLII]

The way this topic is being abused is saddening.

fuck you everyone loves peanuts. ;;;;-;;;;

but being serious for a moment yeah incog you might wanna tone it down a bit. ono

[incognito]

Do you know by ''boy'' i was reffering me?

[OCG]

Are you trying to tell us you want to kill yourself? Dude, that's not the way to solve problems and it will only be worse for others.

[incognito]

And by story i was meaning fiction

Anyway RPC can be only better without me...

[Master]

The way this topic is being abused is saddening.

Tell me about it, I bump it in the hopes of seeing some literary goodness, and I find the contrary.

[Keane]

Once upon a time Uncle Thomas didn't want to be an uncle anymore so he drowned his brother's children. He is now Thomas again. The end.

It makes me cry to see that this post isn't two years old and I have no excuse for the incredible level of ass in this joke.