Pluses (+) and minuses (−) of this day

[Keane]

The last thing I want is for one of them to get angry at me. My mother broke her wedding ring and my father is screaming and whatever, I don't at all want anything to do with that because intervening would only end up in one of them trying to get me on their side and my answer will be used against me no matter what I say. That's just how stuff goes around here, I can't help that, not to mention that I get pretty scared by my father when he's mad. I feel much better staying safe here with the cat and Zepto and make my Saturday decent than get myself in unnecessary trouble. Plus that earlier this morning my mother was yelling about how all I do is be obsessed with friends (Because that's bad?) and rejected me being nice to her really harshly so it's not like I want to talk to her.

- Mother got dinner. I'd rather not eat until tonight because it means I'll have to go to the living room

[Zikken]

...How are you still on the internet through all of that? I know if I heard stuff breaking and someone crying, I'd intervene by now.

Not everyone likes to be in the middle of fights, especially not when the person don't want to hear what you have to say.

+ After 6 months I finally talked with my real life friend but over join me but that's alright, we both forgot our phone numbers anyway lmao.

[BzzitTheMoskito]

- Oh my God, my father has completely lost it and is screaming and whatnot. I'm a little scared honestly.

Ouch, good luck.

+ He stopped now. My father is extremely patient and calm always so it's pretty uneasy if he acts like this. I don't know how he even does it, he's been kind and listening all day to her and she just insults him and didn't even bother to care when he screamed and now he's still listening to being told he's the cause of it all. I feel bad for him and it still makes me wonder how much more it takes until these two break up.

+ Kitties came to hug

EDIT: aaand he's screaming again, mother is crying and is destroying everything in her sight and I'm just gonna lock up for the rest of the day. :I

+ Zeppy making me feel comfortable

...How are you still on the internet through all of that? I know if I heard stuff breaking and someone crying, I'd intervene by now.

Through my experience, sometimes it's best to let it run its course.

[sonicbrawler182]

Eeeeeeh...alright, but I don't think that's a very...healthy or practical way to be.

[THEdragon]

+ I get the house to myself from 1:30pm to about 9:00pm Because my parents are going to a concert on Rottnest Island.
- I have to give my dog his tablets in the evening. I hope I can do it right.

[Keane]

+ After 6 months I finally talked with my real life friend but over join me but that's alright, we both forgot our phone numbers anyway lmao.

Yay

Eeeeeeh...alright, but I don't think that's a very...healthy or practical way to be.

Well put on my shoes: If your mother was already harshly angry at you earlier and currently in the living room you hear stuff breaking, screaming, crying and you know that it has nothing to do with you and that you will potentially get yelled at and get punished just by walking in, would you go there? After a half year of being stuck in a vacation home where they both got depressed and I was getting used to hearing at least someone crying in the living room I've come to really hate fights or even just being angry and sad, which as a result has probably made me a much nicer person.

[technology4617]

+ Stream went OK, for the most part
- There were many technical issues I did not know about, including the missing game audio.

[sonicbrawler182]

+ After 6 months I finally talked with my real life friend but over join me but that's alright, we both forgot our phone numbers anyway lmao.

Yay

Eeeeeeh...alright, but I don't think that's a very...healthy or practical way to be.

Well put on my shoes: If your mother was already harshly angry at you earlier and currently in the living room you hear stuff breaking, screaming, crying and you know that it has nothing to do with you and that you will potentially get yelled at and get punished just by walking in, would you go there? After a half year of being stuck in a vacation home where they both got depressed and I was getting used to hearing at least someone crying in the living room I've come to really hate fights or even just being angry and sad, which as a result has probably made me a much nicer person.

I've been in your shoes times with the severity ramped up by ten, at multiple points in my life. And intervened each time. Looking back, there may have been a few hasty and unjustified arrests, injuries, and possibly a death or two if I hadn't of done anything. And I started having to take responsibility for other people's madness at the age of 11.

I'm not trying to put you down or anything, but what you are describing sounds really severe, beyond what you should just sit through and ignore. I'd consider building up more confidence for intervening in these situations, especially if (from what you said) there may be a separation in the cards.

Because believe me, when a parent is separating from a partner, you WILL get roped in at some point even if you haven't started intervening of your own accord already. That's why it's good to step up to these situations. Especially if you have problems getting your parents to respect you as a mature person. If you can show you can take responsibility where they can't, you've made a big step up in life.

[Keane]

My parents won't break up. Last time they got in a fight my mother was yelling similar stuff about how he isn't good enough for her (And he totally fucking is too good for her) but I know they won't. At least not until my brother and I are both out of the house. It's not like they have a terrible relationship and they are alright with each other more than they are angry but It's clear that it's not gonna last for them. Even if they wanted to they probably couldn't in terms of money and the fact that my mother has no college degree and, despite her claims, is less ready to enter a life with a job and handling money (My father does all that, and she is someone who pushes her luxury to the max) than I am.

What am I supposed to do? If I walk in there's more than a 100% chance my mother or father or both get angry at me and won't give a shit about anything I say. Take in mind that during the three week long fight I was in with them a while back I literally told them that they were breaking me down and that I felt unwanted and they just pushed it away and remained to be stubborn with their mindset that I'm just a kid who's "lost". I already got out this morning because I knew if I continued I could kiss my internet goodbye and that's the only place I can get some comfort. So yeah, not like me saying anything will be cared for and I'm not gonna feel like I'm taking much of a step up when I sit here alone without anyone to talk to at all.

[sonicbrawler182]

("Deleted" this post as it was carelessly thrown here by myself)

[Keane]

There is no violence involved, nor was anything big broken. We're not violent people and my parents are strongly against violence in any form so that does not happen. I couldn't possibly have done anything that aren't words, and I'm not used to violence at all honestly. When I read that a friend was hit by their parents I tend to react more dramatically then they do themselves. We've gone trough a bad period certainly, from the fucking vacation home -> Weeks of me vs. my parents -> this, but we are still people who let themselves get too out of control nor are my parents anything like alcoholics and don't smoke etc. They don't swear or hit each other or anything like that. There's not a seriously wrong thing going on, it's just that we as a family seem to be four completely different people with different opinions and ideas and they all don't really work well with each other. My mother wants great things and exciting people but is too lazy to get there, my father is a very quiet person who just kinda accepts that fact that he's got himself in a life he may not even realise himself he dislikes, my brother is arrogant and demanding and then there's me who really asks for nothing more than to have them all listen to me for a moment and be willing to try and understand some things because the only thing. We're like a school, different people together in one place and because of this it happens too often that we get angry with someone else. We do have good moments of course, I have plenty fund memories of Christmas's and vacations and fun evenings and all that good stuff and if we are in a better period we get along decently but this is part of it, too, and it sucks.

And I know they won't divorce and while I understand your point of view it can't really be judged by someone who isn't in the situation themselves. I know how they act and I know it's going to easily last another five years or longer until my father decides to leave, and I know he in any way will not until I'm out of the house and may not even do it at all ever.

And I feel like the rest of my family is unable to see some, I dunno, art in life? They are pretty grim people at times.

[sonicbrawler182]

OK, it seems I misunderstood the situation, and took it for something much more severe than what it actually was from your previous posts. I apologise for that. Reading what you've just said, I think you don't have too much to worry about right now then, other than just getting your family to listen to you (that's a problem I deal with too, actually). Regardless, best of luck with it all, and I hope you never have to be put in some of the situations I have been in. While I was 11 when I started dealing with very serious family problems, it's not like I was of an age where I'd be expected to take responsibility and make hard decisions, despite doing so anyway. And I don't think you'd be expected to either, at your age. So even if you were in a much more dire situation, it would not be surprising or shameful if you were afraid, especially since not everyone has much confidence in themselves (or the recklessness, which is probably more what I have). Still, if things do get really ugly, I hope you'll be able to manage it.

[Keane]

Haha it's fine, you were trying to help and that's worth appreciating. c:

- Yeah my mother shouldn't have gotten dinner it was a mess of arguing

+ My parents cooled down

- ...and so it ended with how it started: I became the target! Oh such joy, let's run down the usual list: I don't respect them, my internet contacts aren't real friends, I should get a real girlfriend (Seriously if I can go back in time to any point it would be that night I brought it up. Big mistake.), my internet friends are going to forget about me or be disappointed if they ever meet because apparently I must be pretending to be someone else (blegh) and I should go to bed earlier.

- Now I gotta wait until 11-12 to see if I'm save from any internet taking. Oh boy.

+ I kind of came to an agreement with them? I promised them I'd work harder on the stuff they want me to if they in return don't immediately tell me everything I do will be worthless. It's probably harder for them. Well I shouldn't say them, my father has a lot faith in me but my mother doesn't at all.

+ Feeling happier

[Dark Lum Lord]

+ The lights of the heavens have shone upon me. Or, in non-dork speak, I'm happy.
+ Because loud music solves everything - lolz true story, music causes a release of dopamine in the brain and teenagers react to it stronger than older individuals, especially if it's loud.

[Keane]

+ Feeling fine now. Because *Zepto solves everything. >A>

+ Think my parents may be calmer tomorrow and not mad anymore.

+ Gonna have a good rest of the night now <v>

[Snagglebee]

+ I had much fun in the livestream yesterday
- My throat hurts now.
+ At least it didn't during livestream.
- I cannot play my Saturn again because the Video cable is lost and the package with the new scart cable isn't arriving.

[Adsolution]

I've been in your shoes times with the severity ramped up by ten, at multiple points in my life. And intervened each time. Looking back, there may have been a few hasty and unjustified arrests, injuries, and possibly a death or two if I hadn't of done anything. And I started having to take responsibility for other people's madness at the age of 11.

I know this isn't totally relevant to the situation anymore after the severity mishap, but in any case, I myself don't find comparing personal experiences with others' to be helpful, despite your intentions. Putting myself in the hypothetical reader's shoes, it makes me feel as if I'm speaking to someone on a higher, therefore not as relatable level as I. The last thing I'd want is to feel my situation is less emotionally significant than yours, because experience is entirely relative; if you, for instance, have lived in a pampered first-world society your entire life and suddenly someone insults you for the very first time, something that is 'conceptually' insignificant when compared to the experiences of someone who lives in a murderous third-world who regularly witnesses suffering and death with their own eyes, the emotional reaction will likely be similar between the two experiences. Attempting to 'put things in perspective' really does no good, and I think that someone who is troubled after losing a parent and someone who is equally troubled after losing their favourite toy deserve an equal amount of attention.

Again, I totally understand your positive intentions and your obvious experience, I'm just making light of why using your own experiences as a way of conveying anything more than 1:1 empathy is not the best course of action. Your ultimate goal in psychological aid is to make the listener feel understood in the sense that there are others out there like them. Comparing your experiences like in the quote here will totally remove that element of relatability and needlessly turn it into a contest of who has it worse, which is totally not the point. There is literally no instance in which making a comparison like that will ever, ever be helpful in any way.

[Rulez]

^ Adsolution is 100% correct! I actually used to do that, but thank fuck I've changed my way of trying to make people feel better. What was I thinking? This is not a stab at you, though, sonicbrawler! I was way more extreme with that.

[THEdragon]

- I feel nervous and unsettled for some reason.
+ At least I know a way to fix that now.

[Haruka]

+ Finished the most annoying thing I still had to do for school so I am relieved
+ Missing one week before holidays
- 3 evaluations all followed next Tuesday