Pluses (+) and minuses (−) of this day

[Droolie]

Thanks guys... He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about 2,5 years ago and despite all the hard treatments, he held on until a little more than 2 months ago. I remember him fainting the second when I came home from a hard day at uni in the beginning of December. They decided to place him in palliative care at that time, where he slowly lost his strength. 3 days ago he still spoke but he went on about the weirdest things, 2 days ago he stopped speaking, yesterday he stopped opening his eyes, and now this... horrible. I really hope they find a cure for cancer soon, because this is something I wish no one would have to bear.

PS: Really sorry for totally ruining the mood in this topic...

[technology4617]

---------------- My father died today... :/

Fortunately, I haven't had anyone close to me die with the exception of our old dog, and the terrible experience I had with that I imagine is nothing compared to what you're going through right now, and I can only imagine what kind of pain you're going through.

The best medicine I've found to deal with shitty things in life is to simply avoid thinking about them. That sounds incredibly disrespectful, but it's honestly the best medicine on occasions like this.

[Dark Lum Lord]

+ We had a dance at school, and oen of my friends got them to play Metallica. It was definitely a break from all the trashy pop they usually play. I had a blast, felt like I came back from a metal concert.
+ Four-day weekend.

---------------- My father died today... :/

What. Oh my God. I don't even know what to say, I'm so sorry.

[technology4617]

+ We had a dance at school, and oen of my friends got them to play Metallica. It was definitely a break from all the trashy pop they usually play. I had a blast, felt like I came back from a metal concert.

Ye, it's always nice when you find gold in a sea of shit, though this almost never has happened in the school dances I've been to.

[jurebj]

---------------- My father died today... :/

I'm sorry
At least it won't happen again.

[technology4617]

At least it won't happen again.

Fuck you.

[Adsolution]

Thanks guys... He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about 2,5 years ago and despite all the hard treatments, he held on until a little more than 2 months ago. I remember him fainting the second when I came home from a hard day at uni in the beginning of December. They decided to place him in palliative care at that time, where he slowly lost his strength. 3 days ago he still spoke but he went on about the weirdest things, 2 days ago he stopped speaking, yesterday he stopped opening his eyes, and now this... horrible. I really hope they find a cure for cancer soon, because this is something I wish no one would have to bear.

It's hard to deliberate which is worse, a sudden accident, or having to agonisingly wait it out for such a long period of time, always hoping something may improve. The latter is obviously a much harder trek, in that it's a trek to begin with, but on the upside, it leaves no words unsaid. You're able to express all the love to them that anyone ever could during that time.

I went through a similar thing with my aunt (whom I basically viewed as my 'real' mother) a bit over two years ago in which she was diagnosed with stomach cancer, and she also ended up declining within her last two or three months, and it's horrible. It's impossible to fathom too once it finally happens, I remember sitting in room until the end. I don't even think I was ever able to fully absorb it, because I've never felt a hit, just sort of that emptiness when I think about it.

Suffice to say, I didn't handle it all too well at first and freaked out on RPC a bit.

The best medicine I've found to deal with shitty things in life is to simply avoid thinking about them. That sounds incredibly disrespectful, but it's honestly the best medicine on occasions like this.

Though, assuming you have your mentality under control, thinking about these things is the true basis for great art. Having to think about things you never planned or wanted to think about (even if you some day knew you would have to), it's almost like a whole new world for your mind to explore. Sure, it may not be the happiest art - or it could be, depending on how you express yourself accordingly, but assuming you have some kind of a functioning outlet, thinking about it (in moderation) is probably the best thing you can do.

[jurebj]

At least it won't happen again.

Fuck you.

Sorry I didn't mean it like that. It does not translate very well.

[Dark Lum Lord]

I could never imagine going through that Drolpiraat. Watching your own parent decline until they finally reach the clutches of death is a thought too painful for me. My condolences.

+ We had a dance at school, and oen of my friends got them to play Metallica. It was definitely a break from all the trashy pop they usually play. I had a blast, felt like I came back from a metal concert.

Ye, it's always nice when you find gold in a sea of shit, though this almost never has happened in the school dances I've been to.

True, and this is the first time they've played a good song in my three years attending the place. It's definitely rare for them to play good music, especially if it's thrash metal. A turning point.

[technology4617]

The best medicine I've found to deal with shitty things in life is to simply avoid thinking about them. That sounds incredibly disrespectful, but it's honestly the best medicine on occasions like this.

Though, assuming you have your mentality under control, thinking about these things is the true basis for great art. Having to think about things you never planned or wanted to think about (even if you some day knew you would have to), it's almost like a whole new world for your mind to explore. Sure, it may not be the happiest art - or it could be, depending on how you express yourself accordingly, but assuming you have some kind of a functioning outlet, thinking about it (in moderation) is probably the best thing you can do.

Perhaps, but if this had happened to me, I wouldn't want to think about it in the immediate present, as it would most likely do nothing more than make me even more depressed than I already was, or possibly drive me to legitimate thoughts of suicide. I do think that recalling upon it later in life, when slightly less emotion is associated with it, is a healthy thing to do, and a good way to express your thoughts on the unpleasant subject in a more pleasant medium.

[Adsolution]

I might have agreed at one point, but again, it's all about how you can deal with it. I play/compose music with little restraint, and if I feel something that I've never felt before, I'll just allow my mind to relish in it and see what comes out as a result, and after I then listen to that result many-a-time, it no longer hurts, I don't feel terrible anymore; this isn't a strict formula, though it's happened on multiple occasions. It's knowing how you can deal with the problem instead of ignoring it, but if you don't know how to deal with it, then I suppose you might not have any other options.

[technology4617]

I might have agreed at one point, but again, it's all about how you can deal with it. I play/compose music with little restraint, and if I feel something that I've never felt before, I'll just allow my mind to relish in it and see what comes out as a result, and after I then listen to that result many-a-time, it no longer hurts, I don't feel terrible anymore; this isn't a strict formula, though it's happened on multiple occasions. It's knowing how you can deal with the problem instead of ignoring it, but if you don't know how to deal with it, then I suppose you might not have any other options.

My method of dealing with a problem like this in most cases is to ignore it, but I understand different people have different ways of dealing with losses.

I'd elaborate, but, eh, I don't think this particular topic is one that should really be debated.

[Dark Lum Lord]

I might have agreed at one point, but again, it's all about how you can deal with it. I play/compose music with little restraint, and if I feel something that I've never felt before, I'll just allow my mind to relish in it and see what comes out as a result, and after I then listen to that result many-a-time, it no longer hurts, I don't feel terrible anymore; this isn't a strict formula, though it's happened on multiple occasions. It's knowing how you can deal with the problem instead of ignoring it, but if you don't know how to deal with it, then I suppose you might not have any other options.

My method of dealing with a problem like this in most cases is to ignore it, but I understand different people have different ways of dealing with losses.

I'd elaborate, but, eh, I don't think this particular topic is one that should really be debated.

Mine would be to withdraw. During this period I either spend the majority of my time doing nothing but thinking of the issue, or I entirely brush it aside, attempting to ignore it.

[Cairnie]

My thoughts are with you and your family Drol, I'm so sorry...

[Adsolution]

My method of dealing with a problem like this in most cases is to ignore it, but I understand different people have different ways of dealing with losses.

Well, what I'm saying is that it's clear you or Dynamic Link Library haven't found a way to properly deal with them at all, it's not a different method so much as a more undeveloped reaction because you probably don't know what to do or think. Everyone strives toward attaining happiness, and if thinking about it will restrict you from attaining said happiness, then there's clearly something wrong. Ignoring or running away from the problem is not dealing with the issue, because if it were properly dealt with, there would be absolutely no way for the topic to get you down, and there would be no extra incentive to ignore or obsess over it.

In addition, I think angst is great, because it's self-expression, and can either be expressed from a problem you're currently facing or by relating back to a one you previously had, to revive that strong emotion. You can be the happiest guy on the planet and still be able to express that, if not even more powerfully in the future, because you know the emotion inside and out. If you've dealt with the problem, it can't hurt you, and you would know how to utilise/express the emotion to your maximum potential, instead of come across as a directionless Mopy Dick (lol sorry irrelevant pun), or be worried that your opinion on how to deal with it may be disrespectful. If you're even concerned for a moment about that, then something must be wrong.

[technology4617]

People react to things differently. In the very immediate present, I would try to ignore an issue like this as much as possible. Later, when (and if) I am able to think about the issue more rationally, when less emotional connotations are attached to it, I would revisit it and attempt to think about it in a more objective light then. It's much easier for me to deal with lesser, widespread pain then to deal with a sharp pain all at once, especially when I am not able to think entirely rationally. I wouldn't try to ignore it forever, but thinking about these things when you're still stung by the issue is the worst thing you can do, in my opinion anyway.

[Adsolution]

I wouldn't try to ignore it forever, but thinking about these things when you're still stung by the issue is the worst thing you can do, in my opinion anyway.

Of course, but I'm only saying that it's relative to how you can deal with it, but I also think that the faster you're able to deal with it (properly), the better the results will be, because your emotional output will be greater.

[technology4617]

I wouldn't try to ignore it forever, but thinking about these things when you're still stung by the issue is the worst thing you can do, in my opinion anyway.

Of course, but I'm only saying that it's relative to how you can deal with it, but I also think that the faster you're able to deal with it (properly), the better the results will be, because your emotional output will be greater.

I suppose, but I more mean that it would be better to recall on the issue perhaps a month after it happens, rather than immediately, but not necessarily years later. I don't disagree that the issue should eventually be rationally thought about, but I don't think it's a good idea to do this right after it happens.

[Dark Lum Lord]

I just can't grasp a way to deal with problems other than by withdrawing (and/or), bottling it all up until I explode. Clearly not healthy, though I for some reason haven't bothered to do anything else. A sort of learned helplessness, maybe?

Well, what I'm saying is that it's clear you or Dynamic Link Library haven't found a way to properly deal with them at all, it's not a different method so much as a more undeveloped reaction because you probably don't know what to do or think.

True.

[GOT4N]

Condoleances.