Corrupt a wish!

[Master]

They do, collect them all! Only £99e99 per piece!

I wish that was plausible.

[Shrooblord]

Alas, it's a mathematical improbability.

I wish we knew the limit of this extent. [sic]

[Master]

We learn it, but it's infeasible.

I wish we could use linear programming.

[Shrooblord]

But it requires matrices!

I wish we were smart enough to use them.

[Master]

We are, though have fun dealing with Eigenvalues.

I wish they were simpler.

[Bradandez]

It so simple, a caveman can do it.

I wish to find my permit.

[Shrooblord]

It's stuck in a world where English people use Dutch words to describe things they don't completely understand themselves, like eigenvectors.

I wish SQRT( (-shit)^2 ).

[Master]

(Huh, not related, but an irl friend had a profile pic that said that.)
Using the power of complex numbers, it can!

I wish we could we apply De Moivres.

[Shrooblord]

Sadly, we only know how to be suave.

I wish that cut us a better deal ...!

[Bradandez]

It's available at the low, low price of $899999999.99 for a limited time!

I wish to infiltrate the Reset Surveillance Center.

[Master]

You do, but Resetti caught you.

I wish your eardrums the best.

[Bradandez]

Sure but my mental health isn't!

I wish for 3 more wishes!

[Master]

You do, but they do the opposite of what you ask.

I wish for a lack of varicose veins.

[Bradandez]

Okay but your insurance isn't going to cover it.

I wish for a cool summer.

[Master]

The Ice Age returned.

I wish my feet weren't so warm.

[Bradandez]

Granted! You have feet no more!

I wish to plunder with pirates!

[Master]

You are the plunder.

I wish that I wasn't over-encumbered.

[Bradandez]

No but it hurts my dreams.

I wish to have one penny.

[Master]

You have a shilling.

I wish it were current.

[Bradandez]

Now the world has plunged back in time.

I wish to have a time machine.