Something Bothering you?/Daily Doldrums

Don't wanna spend New Year alone. Big surprise there! I mean, who does? This is probably the first one in ages where I've actually had a real, tangible desire to do stuff. It's ridiculous that there is suddenly nothing, but various things have converged and that's exactly what's happened. It's not helped that I don't want to badger or burden anyone by being all "last minute lonelies take me with you~", but even if that approach got 'results' it wouldn't be a very nice thing to do. I'd rather not do anything that could be a form of emotional blackmail. I just really don't want to be left alone with myself tomorrow.

It would have been great to do NYE as planned, to have the opportunity to celebrate how far I've come and the good foundation that's been laid for next year; good things have happened and I don't want to forget that. With those plans now off the table and everyone else way out of London, instead I'm going to be confronted with what hasn't been acheived, everything that is still lacking and failing. There's so much. There's too, too much. I mean, it's good to face your flaws, that's all important too. But for just one night I want it out of mind, I want to be silly and vain and proud of myself. I really wanted to end the year hopeful - not necessarily happy, there's no way that would have been possible by tomorrow - but hopeful, yeah.

Sorry that this a bit of a self-centred post, so many other people have to spend Christmas and New Year alone. But I have no idea what to do.

Hope you managed to sort something out, Candish. What annoys me about Chrsitmas and New Year, is the expectation from others of doing something interesting. Personally, I have to really be in the mood to party and over this seasonal time I haven't been in a social mood at all. I had original plans to experience the fireworks in Ldn with my partner and sister, and maybe do something afterwards, but in the end we were all too tired, too lazy and too financially deprived to bother. I guess I should count myself lucky that I've got a good family to spend time with this seasonal period, though. I really hope things work out for you somehow (although remember, it's just another day!).

Thanks Xen It is just another day, but it's also a culturally relevant day when society dictates you socialise! In any case I did enjoy it in the end, got a bit bored but it was alright. It turned out that quite a lot of people I know had to be recluses yesterday, which made me feel a little better, haha! We all kept each other company with phone calls and mutual biryanis and lashings of tonic water etc. And then RPC was unexpectedly active, so that was another source of external distraction. I think I felt so sad because I'm on a pretty major low at the moment anyway, plus I've caught a bit of a party bug despite having had to end contact with two entire groups of people, both of which together were my London crowd Today I'm seeing an old friend for drinks, which I'm looking forward to.

I hope your low-key New Year was good! Firework viewing areas are rife with pickpockets so you made the right decision. From what you've mentioned I gather last year was pretty difficult for you, so here's to a much better 2015!

My NYE's been rather peaceful and I couldn't have been happier about it even though the drinks I've had didn't get me as hammered as they did last Saturday... . Just hope it hadn't been too chaotic back at home like it had been some years back (main reason I hadn't spent NYEs fully at home for the past 5 years).

You know you don't need other people around you to celebrate and be happy about yourself, right, Candish? I can totally see the appeal in celebrating with a group of friends - but not being amongst friends doesn't mean you have to be nasty to yourself. You are not your enemy.

It's not a case of have to, more a case of admitting that this is where I am right now and wanting to take steps to alleviate the issue I'm not the most social bunny by any measure, in general I prefer my own company - plus I have to spend a lot of time holed up anyway - but being with people can be helpful when I'd otherwise be feeling really down. Of course, there are times when it gets so bad that I'm just not fit to have any kind of human interaction at all! But I find those spells come less frequently if I've spent a healthy amount of time with good friends and comrades. Depression yo, if nothing else it makes you pragmatic.

I had a pretty good New Year's Eve. Normally I have no more insentive than any other time to socialise on days like this, whatever happens happens, and last night my brother's houseparty happened, so I did that. My evening basically entailed skyping/speedrunning with technology for a bit, then getting a little high with some of my brother's friends and playing eight-player smash and falling asleep early, because my sleep schedule has been almost over-compensated for.

I can't help but feel a little melancholic this morning for those who were having bouts of loneliness. I personally have no problem with spending a 'major' event like this alone unless there was something else in the works prompting the dire need to socialise more than usual. People are having a good time, and if anyone is thinking of you, I'm sure it's fondly at a time like this, whether it's thinking about spending time with you in the future or simply wishing you were there, but understanding that everyone has their own things they're doing.

But are we really ever alone? I feel like I'm sitting at a campfire right now, talking about this. Maybe our real-friends happened to be occupied this New Year's Eve, but being able to write up a post about said loneliness and discuss it with our friends here, people who care about you too, real people with real thoughts, you aren't alone! Back to the campfire analogy - we're all here, giving eachother the time to speak, listen and respond. It's serene and wonderful, and only makes me feel warm inside.

One of the things I really liked (and like) about RPC was the close and friendly community here - it really did feel like a group of people with lives, rather than a site with various strings of text. So yeah, I know what you mean!

It's fascinating the company that can be found in the wierdest places. Earlier this year I was on the train travelling to class, we were stuck with terrible delays owing to the planets being in alignment or whatever. There weren't many of us at that stage, just me, some old guy and a girl faux-studiously reading a textbook. And suddenly, somehow or another, myself and this girl opposite me began to talk - animatedly. I've never hit it off with anyone so quickly and so deeply, we were jabbering like old ladies even as the carraige started to fill up with commuters. And when it came for us to get off, she turned and said "see you later". omigod she says the wrong thing JUST LIKE ME

I didn't get her number. Something in me knows that I'll see her again, but even if I don't, that strange encounter is going to stay with me. People are everywhere, good people are everywhere, and if the time and place happen to be right fantastic bonds can be formed.

Glad your NYE went well Ad! Everyone's seems to have been pretty chill.

Hey, I had already read all the previous posts yesterday, but I hadn't the time to fully respond to them. But I have it now !

Ah, New Year's Eve, the classic: because Christmas is only a few days before it, and that you likely spent your 24/25th of December eating in family and enjoying presents and the company of your siblings, you would think that NYE would be a bit like that, but more with friends. Well, guess what? It's not! (Some people don't even celebrate Christmas for various reasons, the most common ones being either "it's not my presents/family celebration day", "wtf I'm not christian", or even "er, i'm Spanish, 6th of January is more important"...).

I usually spend NYE with family rather than friends. First, because most of my friends have already something planned. Second, I'm usually not in the mood of partying like a freak, or with tons of people, and NYE parties are "usually" like that when you are living close to a big city. Third, I don't like walking around in the city mentioned before because I have "nothing else" to do, and this is "the safe option to spend NYE": Everybody is doing that, so the subway is overcrowded, there are a lot of people half-trying to mess with you, and some weird folks trying to sell you beers they clearly bought a few hours ago in the closest supermarket (yes, yes, they are keeping the box as a container, yes, yes, one euro for a 25cl bottle...).

This year (and last one), I spent NYE with my girlfriend, each time in a different European capital (Berlin and Paris). In Berlin, we spent around 6 hours in a bar to wait until midnight. It was very crowded, so we couldn't order a lot of stuff because we didn't have a lot of room. Then, we walked in the city to the biggest railroad station to watch NY fireworks. It was cold, and there were people throwing fireworks here and there, sometimes dangerously.
This year, as we had nothing planned and we didn't want to go to Paris in order to do the exact same thing, we chose to stay at home to eat good food with my father and watch some movies. We spent the entire evening chatting with my father, in fact. It was a lot of fun.

So, yeah, NYE can seem not that great if you are not partying with friends, or going outside, or doing something socially acceptable for NYE. And you can't be more wrong than that: why would you feel guilty of not doing anything particular for this evening? Sure, it's NY, you want to take good resolutions for 2015, okay. It doesn't mean you have to party with 20 people you don't know, end the night drunk and wandering around in the streets.

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About the concept of RPC being a sort of campfire, I agree with that. I guess it's mainly due to us trying to respect each other according to the forum's rules (or unspoken rules) and sticking to them, so we already respect other members in a formal way. Then we keep and expand contact between us, we learn to know each other so we can share.
I'm trying to be there as much as I can, really, I like a lot of you guys. But I guess I actually managed to balance my life between spending time here or on the Internet, and spending time with my friends, family, and people outside of it. Some people here still helped me to grow up as much as a person in the, er, "non-super-textual" world?
I especially like this thread because other people's issues help me to have another look on mine, think a lot of about it, and give my opinion.

Do you ever regret something you still like

Call of Duty Ghosts. Killzone 3. Uncharted 1.

I knew it was you. Jeez Louise this is ridiculous.

[knowledge intensifies]

wat dafuq

The girl I like turned out to be lesbian

I'm sorry man Considering what you told us about her before that does make sense.
Maybe this can help to bring your feelings some closure?

Look on the bright side: at least it's nothing about you personally. Rejection is always a tough pill to swallow.

Welp, at least I can tell her how I feel, even though she is not into men. Perhaps we can be friends?

Yeah, if that works out for you guys, great! There's a reason you liked her in the first place - perhaps it'll give you a good basis for friendship.

Now I just need to think of what to say....