Here comes another one of my extra-long dreams that seem to last forever. Only, this time, it was about Star Wars!
So, in the dream, I'm told by the Inquisitor (Star Wars Rebels character who is a Sith Assassin/Acolyte) that I was born with the power of the Dark Side at my disposal. You know how the Force binds us, penetrates us, and keep the universe in balance? Well, that's what it's like for me, except with the Dark Side; basically, it means I was born to be a Sith. It's my destiny, it's my purpose, it's what I was meant to become, and any other variation of the phrase. Naturally, this doesn't go over well with me, so I call him a liar, fall into hysterical denial, and run away from the Inquisitor.
For the next year after that, I go on a journey throughout the universe to find inner peace and escape my Sith destiny. But, as long as the Dark Side flowed through me, finding peace would impossible (look up the Sith Code to avoid confusion) until death someday would ultimately free me. Somewhere along the way, I slowly start to fall to darkness and insanity. On the battlefield, I start to find pleasure in my own pain and others' pain; I start to fund ecstasy in death and destruction.
I come to my senses at this realization and start panicking. I run to the bathroom and start reflecting on my life, on how I've never been able to find peace or adapt to other ways of living. I've never been able to live by the beliefs of any benevolent way of thinking because my body is hardwired to live by a certain, but I don't know what that code is. I don't want to be this, though; I don't want to become this monster.
So I look down from the bathroom mirror, bend over the sink... and put two fingers down my throat. I do this with the intent of expelling the evil and uncleanliness from my body. I'm force-puking, pulling my hair out, and clawing at my eyes to try and get this out of me, muttering, "Until I no longer find pleasure in pain; until the enjoyment of death is nonexistent!!!"
Suddenly, the Inquisitor comes up behind me and says nothing I do will work. "I thought I told you to leave me alone," I snap at him. He ignores me and says that I can't escape my fate, and that I will never fnd peace...because peace is a lie. He continues, "The Sith search all their lives for balance in their bodies knowing there is no such thing as peace during life. Which is why we are overcome by greed and constantly seek conquest. But we embrace what we are overcome by. Because, once our obsession leads to our downfall, only then can we truly find peace... in the afterlife, freed by the Force."
"Those words...," I remark, realizing that what he says bears staring resemblanceto the words I've heard in my head since birth. The Inquisitor grins, sensing my recognition, and, while slowly having been cornering me against a wall, he says, "There have been a series of phrases echoing in your head since you were born. A code that prevents you from adapting to any other principles of life, yet you know not where they come from nor what those words mean. ...Speak them."
I submit and recite them, having subconsciously memorized them. "Peace is a lie; there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory." The Inquisitor finishes for me, "Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me." I stand shocked and ask, "You've heard them, too?" He replies, "We all have." "What are they? Please, tell me what it means," I ask. The Inquisitor answers, "Simple. That... is the Sith Code."
I gasp, turn around toward the mirror, and find my eyes are yellow...I have Sith eyes now. "So it's true, then," I say, and as I sink to my knees, I whimper, "I really AM meant to be a Sith." The Inquisitor offers a hand to me and says, "Your own quest to find peace will get you nowhere. But you can seek something else, something that is the only absolute in this universe: passion. And I can offer the path to you. You can train as my apprentice, and become a Sith Acolyte."
After a while, I end up taking his hand and standing up, saying, "I will go with you, Inquisitor. I've nothing left worth the struggle." For the first time since I can remember, my body, soul, and spirit feel in balance; not because I've found peace (peace is a lie), but because I've found the path to passion.