Corrupt a wish!

[Greengoop]

Granted, but we force each other into zoos due to it being a fitting place now.

I wish I had a sudden Minecraft Hit.

[RayGamer99]

Granted, you are suddenly hit by a mace and die on your Minecraft hardcore world you spent 5 years building a beautiful city on!

I wish LEGO made a series of Crash Bandicoot sets.

[Giant Chicken]

Granted, there's now a Lego Duplo version of Crash!

I wish for a nice day off in Portugal where absolutely nothing goes wrong.

[PluMGMK]

Granted. Portugal becomes the undisputed sovereign state over the entire universe, and trillions of years later you get to have a day somewhere in the universe after its heat death where absolutely nothing happens.

I wish the WiFi signal in my house wasn't so patchy.

[The Jonster]

Great, except the WiFi stops working entirely, causing you to go to a Tesco to get internet.

I wish I could cook dishes that taste great the first time through.

[Greengoop]

Granted, you now have a strange appetite for dishes, especially deep fried ones!

I wish I had the time to research more statistics here so I could make more maps.

[The Jonster]

The maps you make become very confusing and too convoluted for anyone to follow so they get trashed instead.

I wish people would be more forgiving.

[Greengoop]

Granted, now Hitler is seen as a genuine person who made a few mistakes, even a good one who fought for animal rights and limited smoking!

I wish my Documentary and Our Memes edits got added to the main post.

[Pirez]

Granted. Dah Jonster takes credit and bans you to cover his tracks.

I wish perspiration smelled like lavender.

[The Jonster]

In that case, we’d have sweat based pastries and cakes and shit trending the next year!

I wish for some cookies.

[Giant Chicken]

Granted, but they're filled with sawdust and motor oil.

I wish that it was colder outside.

[Greengoop]

Granted, there’s a small patch of land in a place 127km away that is 0.1°C colder.

I wish all countries flags were redesigned on MS PAINT.

[RayGamer99]

Granted, but since the redesigners weren't great at digital art, all of the flags now look like the aftermath of Taco Bell!

I wish I knew why Greengoop and Jonster are always at odds.

[Giant Chicken]

Granted, since you learn best from experience, you now get your own rival to bicker with on RPC!

I wish everyone in the world except for me would be teleported to Rhode Island!

[Greengoop]

Granted, but now Rhode Island owns every part of the world except a patch the size of Ithasmore in an uncomfortable shape he has to hold for the rest of his days!

I wish I could argue with my history teacher without looking like a nerd.

[boilusplatform]

granted, you look like your having a meltdown

i wish cherries tasted like artificial cherry flavouring

[Rsandee]

Granted, artificial cherry flavouring now tastes exactly like real cherries, to a T.

I wish I had a portal which I could use to easily access other locations that are far away, like other countries.

[RayGamer99]

Granted, but traveling through it takes twice the time that it takes to fly there on Spirit Airlines.

I wish Betilla and the nymphs returned in the next Rayman game… without being too sexual like in Origins.

[WPTheModder]

They return, but they're now dressed as nuns. Along with that, you can't progress in the game because the only power they're willing to give you is God's power.

Which you would think is useful (With Polokus and all)... but they instead just hand you a bible and set you off on your quest

I wish I had blueberry pancakes right now!

[Greengoop]

Granted, but the pancakes are made entirely of blueberry!

I wish deodorant actually worked for as long as it claims to.