Rayman and the Fire Knights (Fanfic)

[Feanaro Surion]

Rayman and the Fire Knights

Introduction:

It was near dawn. The sunlight was just peeking over the horizon. This was just another ordinary day for the inhabitants of this great land protected by Rayman. However, something was not right. Something was coming, something that this world had never seen before.
It was near the menacing Candy Chateau, at the great volcano that towered above the Iron Mountains. A foreboding figure walked down the black steps that came down from the entrance to the volcano that was more than halfway up. When he reached the base of the volcano, the sunlight hit this menacing being.
He was unusually tall, more than eight feet off the ground. He wore a set of armour, that looked as if it had once been quite beautiful, but it was charred black from constant exposure to fire. A black cape with fiery red inlay was draped over his back, with a burnt red hood hanging down behind a great black helmet. A huge sword hung down below a chain link belt, with a great ruby for a pommel. Burning, red, unblinking eyes shone through the slits in the helmet.
The figure roared, and suddenly, the volcano erupted. However, it wasn't lava spewing out of the great opening in the ground. It was more of these fiery knights. Hundreds of them thundered down behind their leader, as he yelled onto the wind, “ I am Obsidian, Leader of the Fire Knights! Hear this; I have been building up my army for decades, and nothing can stop me from taking over the world... not even Rayman!”

[Feanaro Surion]

Next Chapter should be coming within the next few days.

[Blok2004]

Got a good start but it seems very fast paced and seems a bit to Serious

[Feanaro Surion]

I like serious. Fast paced is also a good thing too. This is just the intro as well. It gets better further on.

[Feanaro Surion]

Chapter 1:

Rayman was in the Fairy Glade, helping Ly with the cleanup of the old pirate strongholds. It had been 7 years since the robo-pirate invasion, but they had been mixed up with Andre the black lum, and just recently, the Raving Rabbids, so they were unable to begin cleanup operations. However, peace had been sustained for almost two years, so they decided that they would restore the old bases of their enemies to their old glory.
The pirate strongholds received priority, because the robo-pirates polluted the land more than anyone else. This would also make it more difficult, because there was more overall to clean up. Rayman and Ly began with the Fairy Glade, because it was one of the largest strongholds, and the closest to home.
The operation was in its first stage, which was dismantling the actual wooden structure. Right at the moment, Rayman was busy taking down the portions that weren't connected to the main building. There was a small outpost the doubled as a prison that he was working on. It would be difficult, because it was built into the rock face, and could collapse at any moment. Therefore, he was reinforcing the edges with metal braces that could be removed later.
As Rayman and his teensie workmen were just finishing the project, there was a strange gust of wind. Everything became swelteringly hot, and the noise was incredible. A voice was on this wind, a dark, evil voice.
“Rayman. I know you can hear me. I am Obsidian, Leader of the Fire Knights. My army is immense. Nothing can stop it. You are the guardian of this land. That means, you will be the greatest threat to my conquest. I am coming for you, and I remind you, that nothing can stop me.”
After this startling phenomenon, Rayman was baffled. When he asked Ly about it, she told him that she hadn't heard anything, just a roaring wind. However, she believed what he said about the voice, and that he should be very cautious in the coming days. Rayman decided that he would continue working on the restoration project, and would wait for this new enemy to reveal itself.

[Tigerflame]

Cool! i do agree with blok2004 though. It's a bit fast-paced. Take your time. Good story otherwise though!

[Feanaro Surion]

that's the plan. i'm taking it a bit slower, and i hope the next few chapters are better.

[Suad_199512]

Good story

[Xenon]

It's nice to see a fanfic that doesn't have thousands of errors in it. Keep going!

[Beebop]

See how it's shorter too?