Jokes topic

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Hey guys if uve got any gd jks then plz post them here

:D :D :D

itd b gr8 2 hv a gd laugh

thx cyber-choc
(your online (tooth rotting) companion)

p.s. please ignore that last bit
 
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge
said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said she is fuckin' Goofy."
 
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a classic joke:

<A preacher is buying a parrot.

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."

"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"

"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.>
:oops2: :oops2:
 
Q: what's the difference between Cheryl Cole and the Icelandic volcano?
A: the volcano is still blowing Ash.
 
hehe :D
<A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers like there's a telephone in his hand, then puts his palm up against his cheek and begins talking.

Suspicious, the bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.

The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular."

The bartender says "Prove it."

The guyy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible!" says the bartender. "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it.

By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room.

The guy goes in and 5, 10, 15,... minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room to check on the guy.

The guy is spread-eagled up against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt.

"Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?"

The guy turns and says: "No, no, I'm okay. I'm just waiting for a fax.">
 
A blond women is go to the Electro-shop. He said:
- Women: I need this TV.
- Seller: We do not serve blond womens.
Next, day, the blond women pulls a brown wig and go to the Electro-shop again.
- Women: I need this TV.
- Seller: We do not serve blond womens.
- Women: From where knew that I am blond?
- Seller: From there, that somebody else does not mix TV with the microwave oven!
:oops2: :mryellow:
 
Rayrobi97HUN said:
A blond women is go to the Electro-shop. He said:
- Women: I need this TV.
- Seller: We do not serve blond womens.
Next, day, the blond women pulls a brown wig and go to the Electro-shop again.
- Women: I need this TV.
- Seller: We do not serve blond womens.
- Women: From where knew that I am blond?
- Seller: From there, that somebody else does not mix TV with the microwave oven!
:oops2: :mryellow:
cool :oops2:
 
Danonanobadray327 said:
Rayrobi97HUN said:
A blond women is go to the Electro-shop. He said:
- Women: I need this TV.
- Seller: We do not serve blond womens.
Next, day, the blond women pulls a brown wig and go to the Electro-shop again.
- Women: I need this TV.
- Seller: We do not serve blond womens.
- Women: From where knew that I am blond?
- Seller: From there, that somebody else does not mix TV with the microwave oven!
:oops2: :mryellow:
cool :oops2:
Thanks.
 
Congratz, you've won a dishonest prize:
seal-of-approval.jpg


But beware, you need to be careful, son:
warrantyvoid.png


And a baby seal just walked into a club.
 
well, a bad joke:
< a man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.

He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog really seemed to be enjoying the movie.

"He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find it strange?"

"yeah!," she replied, "I found it very strange. He hated the book!">
 
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