I have friends, I do, but aside from a few they don't seem to talk to me all too much nor do they notice me as much as they had prior. In general I feel ignored and this while that's not entirely true it is to an extent since most people act as though I'm invisible. Last year this really bothered me as I had hit my breaking point last year and I was extremely anxious yet at the same time I longed for friendships and I could barely manage alone time. I had a constant craving for friendships and to have fun with others instead of being alone, which I had dreaded. I'm more or less the opposite now as now I really don't care about being alone and I often times prefer keeping to myself. I also don't yearn for close friendships with people who I coincidentally have many things in common with to randomly pop up, but I still have moments like that sometimes. I still feel like I'm the odd one out, but I find it funny that my brain thinks in that matter on account that nearly everyone my age is figuring out who they are and might feel odd. The real difference is that most find others to latch onto in order to survive in this teenage wasteland; they find people with similar tastes who also have a similar or same aesthetic appearance, or widely known as cliques, in order to feel comfortable and meaningful as a human being while I myself am either apathetic or brave enough to wonder alone and make my own decisions without others swaying my opinions.
At least, that's practically what my therapist told me however in a less delicately phrased, more blunt way. I'm not sure if I entirely agree with her, but she made a bit of a point. Although I don't think I'm pretentious enough to agree one hundred percent. Well, the point is that I have a hard time making friends and most of the friends I have don't pay all too much attention to me anyhow but I no longer give a shit - for the most part at least.
As for beer and drinking, I've had a small sip of beer maybe two or three times before and each time I found it to be revulting. I don't understand why people find it to be such an appealing drink. Not only that, but the only thing you get out of it is vomitting the next morning which is not exactly my definition of "fun". Then there's the fact that only drinking one sip made me feel dizzy and what I perceive to be the feeling of "drunk-ness", albeit likely minor feeling of it, or possibly at least, since I hadn't gotten drunk in the first place therefore I don't know the feeling exactly. As for drugs, I'm a bit more open about drugs, however the only one I think I'd give a try would be marijuana and maybe acid or some other ones of the psychedelic variety. I'm hoping I'll stay away from the rest of 'em though.