Religion – your views

[iHeckler9]

No 'r's' or 't's'...

I hink ha his Iishman opic is geing ou of hand.
Can we please go back on he subjec?

[spiraldoor]

Everyone, look! I found some ownage!

[iHeckler9]

I LOL at that, sir.

[Tobbe]

I'm working my way through these quotes. Absolutely hilarious! So far, I find this one particularly amusing:

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example… sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we’d all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

[Cairnie]

I love this one -

"Jesus is not a Jew. He is Jewish."

[Tobbe]

Here's another brilliant one:

[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

and this one is perhaps the best one so far:

Gravity: Doesn’t exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that’s just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it’s not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn’t the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

[iHeckler9]

How does the above comment make sense?

[Tobbe]

Btw, the argument our new house Creationist, Mister Dark, used to "prove" the existance of god, is called the Kalam Cosmological Argument. Here is a refutation of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5-2QUyI90A

Anyway, everyone should read the last quote on the page spiraldoor linked to. It's fucking hilarious!

[iHeckler9]

Don’t you know that evolution is basically a racist concept? Some evolutionists still teach that white people evolved from “negroes” who evolved from apes– Meaning “white people are more evolved!”

[spiraldoor]

This one is amazing:

Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist’s funeral?I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as humanbeings (they’re not even human, but only inhuman animals),since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowardsand Murderers, after all, why would anybody in theirright mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bonechips and ashes (that get mixed together with those ofothers from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?And what epitaph do you engrave on an Atheist’s gravemarker? “Here lies the only good Atheist, which is adead Atheist”. What else is there say? Nothing at all.No last words, no last rites, no flowers, no anything.Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off asa result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damnedGod-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades. Which begs another related question, do Atheists cry atfunerals? If so, why? Since Atheists hate God, and theyhate Family, and they hate Country, who are they cryingfor? It is true: The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist.

[iHeckler9]

I'm a grammar Nazi.

Give me that guy's adress and I will kill him.

[spiraldoor]

I'm a grammar Nazi.

You think you're a grammar Nazi?

No.

I am the grammar Nazi around here. See, it's in my sig and everything.

[Xenon]

Women are naturally weak, they are more open to sin, then men are.The rapes happened in the bible yes they happened and were recorded , why to teach us a lesson, have you not heard of parables, in the Bible, these happend to teach us women not to bare are flesh or to lust. God allows it to happen, in the hope that it would teach us and strengthen are faith.It happens, but most female rape victims often bring it on themselves.

Well apart from being incredibly sexist and grammatically incorrect this makes me laugh. How can anyone honestly believe this is representative? No offence to anyone here but I reckon this was written by an American evangelist.

[Hunchman801]

That one is definitely my favourite sentence:

Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.

[Zay-el]

To be exact, all these quotes come from Fundies Say The Darndest Things. Nuff' said. XD

[Tobbe]

Hahaha, here's a brilliant one!:

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

[spiraldoor]

This past spring I was expelled from my high school. Why? Because I’m a Christian. There was a girl in my class who was wiccan, and I didn’t want demons to possess me or anyone else and save her from satan. So, I told her that her faith was evil and told her to accept Jesus as Savior and she would be saved. Simple as that. Just say the sinners prayer and you can be saved!Well I got sent to the principal for that. She said I was ‘discriminating’ against her religion. I was only doing what the Bible, God, Jesus and my pastor said! How is that wrong!?Well, afterwards I was forced to aplologize, even though it’s a sin to, so I never meant what I said. So, instead I put a copy of a Jack Chick tract in her locker about how wicca and a paganism lead to murder, rape and other horrible things because it lets the devil get inside of you. I also left a little note about how she was going to hell. I was hoping she would see the error of her ways and repent from the evil, disgusting ‘religion’.Instead I was called down to the principal again and this time there were two police officers there. And they said I was under arrest for harrasing this girl and threatening her! What did I do? I just wanted her to accept Jesus and be saved! Now her family (all evil, stupid, disgusting god hating wiccans) want to sue me for discrimination and creating a hostile workplace! How is that fair? She’s the one who’s discriminating against me because I’m one with the LORD!Jesus is the only way to salvation! It’s that simple people! No pope, wicca, or anything stupid like that! JESUS ONLY! Why is is wrong to tell others that? It’s all the fault of the ACLU and simlar atheist organizations trying to destroy us Christians. Next they’ll want to genocide us for doing our Godly work.

[Hunchman801]

A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire….Should’ve stayed in the house where it’s safe.

Women at home!

[Xenon]

Did anyone notice the one about homosexuality?

"The only solution we have to stop gays from recruiting other people is to cut off the source. They need to be taken to specialized containment centers where they will be forced to become straight and accept Jesus as thier savior and to repent from their disgusting, wicket, hatful, devilish ways. Those that refuse to go can either be forced, or banished from society in other specialized communities where they have no connetion to the outside world at all. Most would die of AIDS anyway. Anyone who refused any of the answers to make them better would have to be killed or banished."

[spiraldoor]

I think it would be good if there actually was some way to turn homosexuals straight. When you think about it, it is quite disgusting...