Jokes topic

[ikke471]

I hate english jokes, since I think they're never funny.
English humour is nice, like Monty Python.

A man is talking to God.
''
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
''

that's.....BOSS!

[Danone]

Two men drive up to a restaurant with their dogs. there is a sign that says 'NO DOGS ALLOWED'. One of them says, "Too bad, I guess we can't go in."
But the other guy says, "Wait, I have a plan." He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out some shades. He walks up to the restaurant, and the manager says, "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager lets him go in. The second man follows his example, and walks up to the door. "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager looks at the dog and says: "It's a chihuahua."
"A chihuahua?!" The man says, "They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"

[Nannerb3]

Two men drive up to a restaurant with their dogs. there is a sign that says 'NO DOGS ALLOWED'. One of them says, "Too bad, I guess we can't go in."
But the other guy says, "Wait, I have a plan." He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out some shades. He walks up to the restaurant, and the manager says, "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager lets him go in. The second man follows his example, and walks up to the door. "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager looks at the dog and says: "It's a chihuahua."
"A chihuahua?!" The man says, "They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"

Well, I thought it was funny.

[Danone]

Two men drive up to a restaurant with their dogs. there is a sign that says 'NO DOGS ALLOWED'. One of them says, "Too bad, I guess we can't go in."
But the other guy says, "Wait, I have a plan." He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out some shades. He walks up to the restaurant, and the manager says, "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager lets him go in. The second man follows his example, and walks up to the door. "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager looks at the dog and says: "It's a chihuahua."
"A chihuahua?!" The man says, "They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"

Well, I thought it was funny.

man, is a joke

[Nannerb3]

I should have known it is a joke topic after all!

[spiraldoor]

That tumblewood gif would be much more effective if it was transparent rather than white.

[stan423321]

But then, it would need alfa channel on sides. Then, it would not be gif, but something else and not standarised (pun not intended).

[Danone]

That tumblewood gif would be much more effective if it was transparent rather than white.

yes I think the same, btw I didnt make it

[skellydude7]

I made one it's not to good though...

A guy walks into a bar he says "ow I just ran into a pole"

Thats all

[Adsolution]

Wow. Never before in my life have I ever seen someone execute a joke so poorly.

Also: viewtopic.php?p=496471#p496471

[Rulez]

A priest, a child molestor and a rapist walking into bar

Bartender say "what you want drink sir"

Priest was child molestor and rapist

[Rulez]

Nigger calls police because he robbed.

Police cum over.

Police arrest him.

Nigger actually robber.

[darkkitty]

weres raymans dick
idk
on his face

[Master]

Also: viewtopic.php?p=496471#p496471

Righty-o, could a mod either close this thread or merge with the one above?

[Cairnie]

Tis merged.

[ikke471]

A seal walked into a club.... K I'm done

[Rulez]

Seal clubbing is good.

[skellydude7]

This is more of a child's joke, but here it goes.

What do spiders do for fun?

[darkkitty]

idk

[Rulez]

hehe THEY ON THE WEB lol loooooool