Jokes topic

Haha :lol:

My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got bad enough, that I had to take his bike away.
 
8 p.m. I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football?!

11 p.m. I SMS my girlfriend: You of course.
 
I Don't know if this count as a joke But...

Say "I joust forthead!" as Fast as you can. You'll realize what you are really saying...
 
Ireland has a Kilkenny :lol:

What band hates washing machines?

Rage Against the Machine.
 
I was out playing golf when I noticed one of my socks was OK but I got a hole in one.
 
I'm sorry about this, but my wife said it's either you or her... So where we going today?
 
You know you’re ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo. (Little black humor there... :lol:)
 
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.
 
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
 
I can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me. Do they really need to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than me?

Sorry if this sounds like I’m being heartless and cruel I found this one online it sounds terrible.
 
Why do people talk about broken windows and blue screens. I'll have you know I put someones window through just to see the blue screen and nothing happened, just a lot of screaming and shouting involving ringing the police or something.
 
I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
 
Why did the man throw the butter out of the window?

He wanted to see the butterfly.
 
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk. (ok that was bad 8))
 
The Jonster said:
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Click to expand...
Lads, I was about to post that one!
Seriously, anyone here into Gravity Falls? Feels like nobody is since Brad left… (Not that I've ever been properly into it either…)

What do you call a cow that appears to suck up all the grass from a field?
A hoove-r…
 
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